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What to do about my sister and my daughter

(26 Posts)
fancyflowers Fri 03-Jul-26 11:59:01

I am truly distraught over this.
My daughter came to see me yesterday, with some complaints. Some are justified. She is fed up with me calling her when I am in an ambulance on my way to hospital. She says I am 'crying wolf' when there is nothing much wrong with me.

She also said I was a 'drug addict ' and that I needed therapy.

I know that she has been talking to my sister, because my sister has previously called me a drug addict and said that I need therapy.

I am convinced that my daughter is only repeating what my sister has told her.

For context: I accidentally overdosed on a prescription medication. That does not make me a drug addict.

I am furious with my sister for messing up my relationship with my daughter.

I am tempted to call my sister and have it out with her.

Any advice on this would be much appreciated.

Tuliptree Fri 03-Jul-26 12:07:44

Why do you think your daughter seems to believe your sister? It’s really all about you and your daughter isn’t it?

MissAdventure Fri 03-Jul-26 12:11:45

A pertinent question would be to ask, respectfully, how often you are in an ambulance, on your way to hospital, if you don't mind saying?

Also, what medical issues do you have? (Sorry, that was two questions, I know)

fancyflowers Fri 03-Jul-26 12:12:08

My daughter does appear to believe what my sister has told her.

ferry23 Fri 03-Jul-26 12:15:27

Just clarify for me so I can understand better - you once overdosed accidentally on prescription medicine, but your daughter is fed up with you calling her from an ambulance on your way to hospital.

So presumably you have called her more than once from an ambulance?

Apart from the one time mentioned above, why else have you been in an ambulance? How many times?

I assume as you were able to locate your phone and call your daughter these weren't emergency circumstances.

fancyflowers Fri 03-Jul-26 12:19:16

MissAdventure

A pertinent question would be to ask, respectfully, how often you are in an ambulance, on your way to hospital, if you don't mind saying?

Also, what medical issues do you have? (Sorry, that was two questions, I know)

I have been in an ambulance once. It was because I hadn't eaten anything for 14 days. Every time I ate anything I was sick. I called 111 and they called an ambulance for me.

My daughter followed the ambulance and came to the hospital with me. I did appreciate her being there for me and I didn't know that she resented it.

Regarding the medical issues. I have stage 4 chronic kidney disease.

Sago Fri 03-Jul-26 12:21:01

You state in another thread that you have kidney disease.
Also one about being in A&E and another about the possibility of you being a victim of domestic abuse, something to do with your husband getting in the ambulance.

Personally I would just not involve family in your medical dramas.

My children only get medical info on a need to know basis.

fancyflowers Fri 03-Jul-26 12:21:33

ferry23

Just clarify for me so I can understand better - you once overdosed accidentally on prescription medicine, but your daughter is fed up with you calling her from an ambulance on your way to hospital.

So presumably you have called her more than once from an ambulance?

Apart from the one time mentioned above, why else have you been in an ambulance? How many times?

I assume as you were able to locate your phone and call your daughter these weren't emergency circumstances.

I am sorry, my first post seemed to indicate that I had been in an ambulance more than once, but that wasn't the case.

fancyflowers Fri 03-Jul-26 12:22:08

Sago

You state in another thread that you have kidney disease.
Also one about being in A&E and another about the possibility of you being a victim of domestic abuse, something to do with your husband getting in the ambulance.

Personally I would just not involve family in your medical dramas.

My children only get medical info on a need to know basis.

You are probably right.

butterandjam Fri 03-Jul-26 12:25:48

Which of your daughters complaints are true?

Are your sisters comments correct?

Some prescribed medications are addictive. Your sister and daughter may think that you've become addicted to prescribed medication . Or are taking so many prescribed medications they put you at risk of mistakes.

Is it possible that's why you accidentally took too much of your prescribed medication and ended up in an ambulance?

How do YOU think that accidental overdose happened?

MissAdventure Fri 03-Jul-26 12:30:10

I do understand what its like to feel permanently not well: my kidneys are ok (about the only part of me that is!) but I had, and still have issues that make me sick - and the other end(!)
Times of just being exhausted for days on end and lots of other problems.
Its not at all easy flowers

Astitchintime Fri 03-Jul-26 12:39:34

I also have health problems but I’m a glass half full kind of person…….no matter the degree of my pain I accept that there’s always someone else worse off than myself.
Vigilance with medication is important, even if it means making a written note of what to take and when.
And I always ensure to live a responsible lifestyle, good hydration being key, every if I don’t fancy much by way of food.

fancyflowers Fri 03-Jul-26 12:40:56

butterandjam

Which of your daughters complaints are true?

Are your sisters comments correct?

Some prescribed medications are addictive. Your sister and daughter may think that you've become addicted to prescribed medication . Or are taking so many prescribed medications they put you at risk of mistakes.

Is it possible that's why you accidentally took too much of your prescribed medication and ended up in an ambulance?

How do YOU think that accidental overdose happened?

My daughter's complaint is true in that she works full time and I was disrupting her day when I asked her to come to the hospital.

I do think I became addicted to the Tramadol, but I hadn't realized how much I was taking. I thought I had to take 2 every 4 hours,cso that's what I took. But that doesn't make me a drug addict.

The only tablets I take are for blood pressure and I take gabapentin for restless legs (which are a side effect of the kidney disease).

fancyflowers Fri 03-Jul-26 12:42:19

MissAdventure

I do understand what its like to feel permanently not well: my kidneys are ok (about the only part of me that is!) but I had, and still have issues that make me sick - and the other end(!)
Times of just being exhausted for days on end and lots of other problems.
Its not at all easy flowers

I'm sorry you have medical problems, and I hope you have good days in between the bad ones.

MissAdventure Fri 03-Jul-26 12:46:46

I have been, lately. smile
I had to put up with a good few snarky comments from people, though, who I'm sure thought I was making a fuss, or putting it on.

MissAdventure Fri 03-Jul-26 12:48:55

Anyway, back to you.
Is your mental health pretty good?
Are you an anxious person, as a rule, do you think?

butterandjam Fri 03-Jul-26 12:57:10

fancyflowers

MissAdventure

A pertinent question would be to ask, respectfully, how often you are in an ambulance, on your way to hospital, if you don't mind saying?

Also, what medical issues do you have? (Sorry, that was two questions, I know)

I have been in an ambulance once. It was because I hadn't eaten anything for 14 days. Every time I ate anything I was sick. I called 111 and they called an ambulance for me.

My daughter followed the ambulance and came to the hospital with me. I did appreciate her being there for me and I didn't know that she resented it.

Regarding the medical issues. I have stage 4 chronic kidney disease.

But two weeks ago, you were in A and E with your husband, asking GN for a handhold.

More recently, you were taken from home to hospital in an ambulance (followed by your husband) and were annoyed the paramedics had flagged up the possibility of DV.

Now you've been taken to hospital because of a medication overdose.

I'm beginning to see why, when you tell 111 you haven't eaten for 14 days/ had taken an overdose, they or para medics might question why such a sick person had to call 111 call for help herself . While her husband stood watching as she was put in the ambulance.

fancyflowers Fri 03-Jul-26 12:59:36

MissAdventure

Anyway, back to you.
Is your mental health pretty good?
Are you an anxious person, as a rule, do you think?

But two weeks ago, you were in A and E with your husband, asking GN for a handhold.

More recently, you were taken from home to hospital in an ambulance (followed by your husband) and were annoyed the paramedics had flagged up the possibility of DV.
Yes you are right. I'm sorry, I had forgotten the first time.

fancyflowers Fri 03-Jul-26 13:01:04

Miss adventure yes I am an anxious person, particularly anxious about health.

Sarnia Fri 03-Jul-26 13:10:54

Far be it from me to cast aspersions and I do not know the OP but on reading the post it does sound as if the daughter has had enough of this situation. Saying her mother is a drug addict and saying the OP is 'crying wolf' initially makes me feel the mother needs some sort of counselling as I think she may have issues but is reluctant to acknowledge them. Having lived with an addict I know how much they will lie to cover their tracks. They are experts at denial and dread anyone finding out the full facts. I am with the daughter and sister here and think the best way is for them to ask a medical professional for an urgent referral for this lady.

Sarnia Fri 03-Jul-26 13:15:02

fancyflowers

*Miss adventure* yes I am an anxious person, particularly anxious about health.

I have written a longer post but please consider counselling of some sort. Those around you are clearly concerned and although you may feel fine and that you are being almost ganged up on, they have your best interests at heart. Don't run the risk of alienating your family. Get some help. Life will look better then. I wish you well. flowers

MissAdventure Fri 03-Jul-26 13:18:12

fancyflowers

*Miss adventure* yes I am an anxious person, particularly anxious about health.

Do you think it's possible that you were unknowingly overdosed on the tramadol, and maybe slurring your words, seeming a bit "out of it", (or perhaps you were, not surprising with tramadol!) and this has been taken as it would appear - drugged up and making a fuss?

FriedGreenTomatoes2 Fri 03-Jul-26 13:24:59

I am sorry you have health issues.

However I feel that you are dripping feeding us all information each time someone corrects your take on things.

Fallingstar Fri 03-Jul-26 13:25:44

Am sorry Fancyflowers, it sounds like you have had a tough time of it and for whatever reason your daughter and sister are fed up or possibly are trying a ‘tough love’ approach.
Right now I think you need time to yourself to try to relax and just think calming thoughts, your wellbeing comes first, so don’t overthink what your daughter or sister said, it will make you more anxious, presumably it comes from a place of love, be content with that.
Whatever health problems you have - and addiction is a health problem not necessarily something people should blame or shame you for, believe me I know this, I was an alcoholic in my youth - you need help and support, but you can help yourself. Think about what you need to do to make yourself healthier mentally and physically and make a list of the steps you will need to take to be ticked off as you take them.
And try not to involve your daughter or sister until you feel strong enough.

MissAdventure Fri 03-Jul-26 13:44:52

I wouldn't confront your sister.
I'd imagine the last thing you need is a family feud.

Perhaps you could try to take your health anxiety in hand?
Maybe cbt would help you, and then you'll be in a stronger frame of mind overall to deal with other issues.

What does your husband say about the situation?