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Long conversations with daughter

(3 Posts)
Contraryme Thu 24-Sept-26 13:59:10

Whenever anything goes wrong in my adult daughter's life or things don't go her way she always blames someone else. She phones me and wants long conversations constantly going over the same worries and problems.
I find it exhausting and it leaves me feeling distressed. I try to be supportive but there is only so many times that I can listen to her moaning, I try to cut the conversation short but then she says that I am not interested in and she would expect that as her mother I should be prepared to listen.
This problem often results in me being pushed so that I sometimes say things that I don't want to.
She can be the most delightful, caring loving daughter when something is not bothering her.
We have fallen out many times over the years and I would like to change change our relationship so that this doesn't happen. I am thinking of writing her a short, gentle letter explaining how I feel, I would welcome any advice.

Cossy Thu 24-Sept-26 14:15:24

My advice, listen and have a glass or cup of something nearby, let her rant and rave for as long as she wants and make the appropriate mmm and aaaah.

There’s some on here who’ve been estranged by their daughters, make the most of yours and “put up” with her foibles.

I wouldn’t personally write her a letter, letters are too easily misconstrued.

I would gently speak with her face to face, if you really feel you must, I wouldn’t thanks

Flippin2 Thu 24-Sept-26 14:21:40

We call it ringing for a rant in our family,sometimes you just want someone to listen while you get it all out, no guarantee of any solutions just someone to let off steam too