Adapting to the changes of age

Thankyou kittylester. You and I are very similar in background. Like you I volunteered many years for the Alzheimers Society. Befriending was
my priority also involved with raising awareness and fundraising. I thought I had a sound understanding of dementia and indeed I did , however........... I now have a much deeper understanding!
and recognise the psychological impact on a spouse/ partner of trying to grasp the enormity of what is happening to their loved one - the relationship changes,
acknowledging that my reliable man is no longer capable of giving me the security I have always appreciated, having to be one step ahead and overwhelmed at the horror that is unfolding, knowing it will get worse ! DH is very good at hosting and puts on a very good show when occasion demands . I find this very frustrating people say things like G seems on good form ! I then worry about others thinking I am exaggerating. The layers of complexity are vast.
Thankyou Kitty.

I’m so pleased to have found this thread. My husband of 56 years has recently been diagnosed with Alzheimers.
I’m finding it hard to accept, it’s been a shock even though I suspected it and got him seen very quickly.

My late OH often used to keep it together and behave appropriately in company - nothing like how he was when he stopped trying and it was just the two of us. Pleasing and frustrating in equal measure!

Care for the carers is thin on the ground but please contact all the advised organisations for their local knowledge and other support.

Because of my OH's illness we were allowed to use the services of the hospice, mainly as an outpatient and the care that I received there was wonderful. Whilst he was having a treatment (music therapy which he loved) they would give me a massage. I so appreciated all they did for us. And they took him in for respite for 2 weeks when I was getting burnt out.

I know i keep banging on about benefits, shelflife and I apologise. My volunteering is centred around Carers and you would be surprised how many people don't claim everything available to help make life easier. I'll try not to do it again - i do get evangelical about it, I know.

I know from the Carers I meet how hard they find it but am also very aware that we don't know how truly awful it is.