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Recognising a pattern

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Horti Thu 01-Oct-26 07:27:07

I’ve just been posting on narcissistic behaviours and patterns

I’m recognising a different but similar pattern amongst many retired couples I know

Retired husbands bullying know it all’s
Loud , speak over their wives conversation , increasing volume to get heard above them

Wives being deferential to a point against their best interests often scared to disagree ,going along with it for ‘ peace’ Not being heard

I was told this was gender inequality !!

but tbh it’s appalling and widespread

Anyone recognise this and got any solutions

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Oreo Thu 01-Oct-26 08:02:08

No, can’t say I have noticed this, but all the women that I know wouldn’t allow anything like that to happen.
Probably the older men have always been like that but becoming more noticeable in retirement?

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Retread Thu 01-Oct-26 08:10:22

I will say that I quite often in supermarkets see what I call 'the dutiful husband' trailing behind a woman of a certain age who is clearly in charge e.g. more than once I've heard the poor man in question being loudly told off "You don't need that!" And the offending item removed from the trolley and returned to the shelf.

So I would say that sort of behaviour comes in the person not whether they're male or female.

As Oreo says none of the women that I know would put up with that.

People control others in so many ways... I've now been reminded of a friend with a meek and mild husband who is a seasoned martyr!

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Retread Thu 01-Oct-26 08:12:47

Oops I added but don't know where it went - the woman is the seasoned martyr so the poor husband is constantly made to feel guilty.

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eddiecat78 Thu 01-Oct-26 08:22:10

You live in a very different world from me! I'm 70 and might have noticed this behaviour in my parents' generation but never in my own.

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