In times of trouble what do you do?

Re Joan's comment: I think you are absolutely correct. If you are to share a problem with someone (or something), you have to organize it in your mind first, and in doing that sometimes a solution will present itself. So whoever or whatever you discuss your problem with, you will benefit from having to examine that problem.

You could be right there Joan.

It's definitely calming. And it does get thoughts organised.

Log on to Gransnet and share with those who have dealt with similar worries, heartaches and disappointments.

I'm beginning to think that 'praying' by non-believers in times of stress is simply a means of organising one's thoughts, and expressing hope for a good outcome. Perhaps it is also a calming down mechanism. I remember seeing a war film where these American soldiers were rowing to hellishly dangerous war zone where they were likely to die, and were chanting the Hail Mary. It was clearly a panic suppressor.

absentgrana, I am like that too! I can't imagine 'comfort eating' when in a state of anxiety - the thought of food makes me feel ill in times of stress.

I am sure you know how dangerous that was, absent, and are eating properly now.

Blimey! absentgrana I was probably about 3 tha last time I weighed 6st. and I am only 5ft 7

I'm not given to what I think is known as "storm conversion" – praying when in danger, having not prayed while safe. I might have an initial cry about something bad, but am not given to continual sobbing. I wake up and worry, even when I try to make myself think of something else. I once spent the best part of a night planning more than 200 different pack lunches for school in an effort to take my mind off other things. I do my best to find a solution to a problem that is troubling me and am not good at accepting that maybe I can do nothing about it. If I am very troubled, I find it impossible to eat. During one especially difficult period in my life I ended up weighing less than six stone – I am 5 foot 10 inches.

A visit from Ben and Jerry soothes but solves nothing!

When I was in between my breast cancer diagnosis and the op. I can remember one day being in a total state of panic and prowling the house. DH took my onto the South Downs for a walk with dog - it was cold and wet and windy but it definately calmed me down. My resources have to come from within me - nothing else works.

I like Ambrose Bierce's definition, in his Devil's Dictionary...

"PRAY, v.
To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled in behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy."

Like others, if life really goes wrong, as it has done a couple of times, I am a total hypocrite and pray.
I suffer from depression, and find it very difficult to talk about my feelings or discuss problems with anyone, even my ever so understanding wife.

Once I can get to talk about problems, things quickly improve, a problem shared is certainly a problem halved.

Crying just gives me a headache and a blotchy face so I tend to share with friends, walk the dog (and perhaps have a good scream or shout in the middle of a field well away from anybody) "focus" (is that another way of saying "pray"?) I also eat for England - I think that is a survival reflex- and finally a few stiff whiskies don't solve anything but can provide a temproary anaesthetic, but basically it is just one foot in front of the other.

I see the completely unsupported calumny about "atheists in foxholes" has surfaced here... see the US Military Association of Atheists and Freethinkers
www.militaryatheists.org/expaif.html
MAAF maintains a roster of Atheists in Foxholes, "just in case there are any rumors that we don't exist". There are other associations of combat-experienced godless as well.

If I feel i need an outlet-To cry but can't then I dig out Little Women and read Beth's death scene. Tremendous sobbing and puts things in perspective-people now don't die like that-in the West i mean

Have a really huge cry with lots of sobbing as though its the end of the world. Then, when I'm exhausted and look revolting, I feel quite purged and clear headed and can usually deal with the problem quite sanely!

Notso, perhaps that's what I mean, too. Maybe there's no other way to describe it!

Notsogrand, that's a very good way of putting it - 'not so much a prayer as a plea'.

All the above - Apart from mad cleaning!
Other things to do when I can't sleep:-
Start a very difficult jig-saw puzzle,crossword puzzle or Sudoku.
Playing Bridge on-line .Try the 'no fear bridge' website It's even more addictive than GN.

It was suggested to me long ago that I had counselling for unresolved problems that continue to haunt me to this day. I attended a few sessions, and having talked at length about my childhood [because, I was informed, that 'going back is an important factor in being fit to move forward'] Whatever lies at the core of my inner sadness, is a permanent fixture. Yet, if I could walk into a room with my GN friends and talk things through, I bet I would feel so much better for the sharing of ...in the meantime, when I feel I walk into a virtual room and leave feeling comforted.

I can't ever remember I time when I was so stressed that it led to me doing cleaning.
Mostly, I just 'shut down' and try to get through what ever it is. I try to remind myself of all the other times I felt so desperate or worried and yet....we all came out the other end reasonably intact.
When things seem really bad I don't so much pray as plea. No idea who I'm pleading to though.
I don't eat more but when I'm stressed, the glasses of wine evaporate more quickly.

I also concentrate harder on ordinary things.

If one is not religious (has no gods), is it possible to pray? Or are non-religious people who say they pray simply calling their thinking/muttering process praying? I'm wondering if one has to pray to something for it to be a prayer rather than plain old thinking or reflection.

I do the same as ga in times of trouble, except for the praying — I talk things through with friends. Sometimes (often) it helps to express your thoughts on a trouble to someone else.

Of course it is not irrational to pray if it helps you - I merely wanted to point out that for we devout atheists is does not help and I am not going to suddenly start believing in something just because I am suffering.
I don't tell believers that they would suddenly lose their faith if things got tough and I expect my beliefs to be given the same respect.

Greatnan I can appreciate how terrifying it must have been to see your daughter is such dire straits and I can also appreciate that it was the skill of the surgeon that saved her.

However, the OP asked how we deal with such times and I answered that for myself I have found that, despite having no religious affiliation, prayer helps me.

I quoted the "in the trenches there are no atheists" not to annoy you and your strong views but as part of the discussion. It is not irrational to pray if you believe it helps.