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Is it limiting God's power to lose hope?

(10 Posts)
Smileless2012 Thu 22-Jun-17 12:49:17

I've had terrible trouble sleeping since I went to church on Sunday. The visiting minister gave a lovely sermon, as she always does, about there being nothing that God can't accomplish.

She talked about Abraham's wife Sarah laughing when she overheard one of 3 men (strangers/angels) talking to her husband and telling him that when he came again she'd have given birth to a son. She being elderly and Abraham 100 you can understand her disbelief. She took it upon herself to send her servant to his bed so she could give him the son he longed for, which of course she did and then Sarah also had a son of her own.

The crux of the sermon was that there's nothing that God cannot do and we should never give up hope.

We've been estranged from our youngest son for almost 5 years. For the first 2 I prayed endlessly that God would bring him back to us, that we'd know our GC (now we have 2 that we cannot see) and that we'd once again have the close and loving relationship with him we'd had for 27 years.

I cannot adequately put into words the devastating affect our estrangement has had on myself and Mr. S. We stopped trying to communicate with ES because of the terribly cruel emails we used to receive in return.

I stopped praying that he'd return and started to ask for the courage and strength we needed just to get through each day. I also started asking for protection from the lies that were being told and that those who loved and knew us would not be swayed. I was beginning to lose hope of his ever returning.

The endless grieving over our loss was taking its toll on us both physically and emotionally. Hope was a mill stone around our necks, dragging us ever deeper into the dark foreboding waters that seemed to have become our lives.

I started to think about moving as we were living just 15 doors down the road from our ES and our proximity to him and our GC was becoming increasingly unbearable. Our DS was upset that we were thinking about leaving our home of 28 years as he felt that as long as we were so near, there was a possibility that things would change.

Mr. S. didn't want to leave but I couldn't bear to stay so bless him we moved just over 7 months ago and it's the best thing we could have done. The house we were going to buy fell through due to a questionable survey and the day we pulled out, I found our new home on line, we viewed it 2 days later (the first people to see it) and it felt so right that we offered the full asking price there and then. We believed that day and still do, that this is where God wanted us to be.

So why can't I sleep? Is it because I did a Sarah and rather than have faith that our son would come back, took matters into my own hands and moved away all be it just 25 miles? Is it because I limited His power by losing all hope that our ES would return?

I believed and still do that I had to stop hoping because until I did I wouldn't begin to accept that he'd gone and until I did, I would never be able to begin the process of healing from the terrible pain he's inflicted but in so doing, have I limited God's power?

Luckygirl Thu 22-Jun-17 13:21:38

Your dreadful situation is bad enough without loading yourself with guilt at your actions as well. We as humans can only do our best in each situation that we are confronted with and it certainly sounds as if you have done just that - making sensible, practical decisions that ease the pain a tiny bit.

I am not a believer, but if I were you I would go and talk to this minister; tell her how you are feeling about your interpretation of her sermon - I am sure that she intended comfort rather than guilt and she will be able to clarify that for you.

Stay strong - find ways to enjoy life - it is all you can do. flowers

grannysue05 Thu 22-Jun-17 13:25:07

smileless2012 You seem to be confused and in utter despair. Why would God (If you believe so strongly in Him), have to rely on human hopes and fears to maintain his power? You have been blessed with a second son who seems to take your welfare seriously. Also, you were blessed again with the house that you found that is so perfect for you. You have not diminished God's power, surely you have enhanced it just by believing in Him. Count your blessings (for you DO have some), and get on with your life. I wish you well...and smile! flowers

rosesarered Thu 22-Jun-17 13:30:17

No human could ever limit Gods power Smileless it's just not possible.
You are drawing strength from God, and part of that is moving away, you are not a million miles away from your son, and I believe there is always hope .....but not thinking about it every waking moment is the best thing.Starting afresh in a new home, keeping up with friends and other relatives.What will be ,will be.💐

Crafting Thu 22-Jun-17 13:30:49

Others will give you a better answer than me Smileless. I think it is hard, when times are difficult, to hang onto hope. Just because you have moved away does not mean that you should give up hope or stop praying. None of us can say what God would do but we (who have faith) believe that God loves us and is merciful. I also think that God would want us to make the best we can of this life. Be happy in your new home. Make the best life you can for you and your family and pray for peace for you and your ES.

I think, in your anxiety you have picked up something from a sermon and applied it to a different situation. I am not saying that God cannot accomplish everything but we do know that things cannot always be as we want them to be or that sometimes our prayers are answered after a long time or in a different way.

There are many occasions both on GN and in RL where God is blamed for every tragedy that occurs. Questions as to why a loving God would allow terrible things to happen. There are many answers to this question given by those whose faith and understanding are greater than mine. All I can tell you is that at times of my greatest fears I turn to God for help, involuntarily without even thinking the words start coming. Many would tell me I am wasting my time. I think not, that is what faith is. Keep faith, do not judge others including yourself and give yourself some peace.

Be happy in your new home 🙂

Anniebach Thu 22-Jun-17 13:50:02

Smileless, I am so very sorry, I am experiencing the same and it hurts so much, it has been seven years for me . I think we have to accept God sees the whole picture, he may be protecting you from more hurt at this time, I don't know but I do know he loves me and nothing can change that love. We want things in our time but have to accept it may not be the right time . Don't question his power or his love, nothing you do will change that. Christ said - I am with you always, even to the end of the world, you could pray for your sons healing but again accept whrn it comes it may not be when or how we want it.

I had a great aunt who once said to me when I was in a rant with God and asking why? Don't ask him why , he isn't answerable to you madam [remember smile] , acceptance is so difficult but remember that very old prayer 'Lord Thy Purpose we cannot see but all is well that's done by thee.

You must live your life, stop blaming yourself , stop questioning God, just remember he loves you and he certaintly knows the pain of a parent for a child.

God Bless, be brave, you have his love , he gave you life so live it X

Smileless2012 Thu 22-Jun-17 14:39:53

Thank you all so much for responding so promptly and so kindly; reading your responses brought tears to my eyes.

Crafting I was so relieved when I read in your post "I think, in your anxiety you have picked up something from a sermon and applied it to a different situation"; I think you're right. As Sunday was father's day I knew that Mr. S's. thoughts would be of the son he loves so very much but can't see and that he, like me, would be imagining our ES celebrating the day with his own children, our GC and possibly seeing his f.i.l. too.

It's so hard sometimes to really mean it when we say to God 'your will be done' when we're afraid that God's will for us may not be the same as ours.

Anniebachflowers7 years, that's a long time; I'm so sorry.
Before we'd seriously thought about moving, Mr. S. told me that he believed God would bring us to a safe place, putting a distance between us and our 'enemies' and that's what He's done. We hadn't realised at the time that it would mean our physical removal from the home we'd had for 28 years.

I do count my blessings and thank God for them grannysue.
"You have not diminished God's power, surely you have enhanced it just by believing in him". Thank you for those lovely words, they made mesmile.

I might do that Luckygirl. I felt better for posting and even better for reading everyone's kind responses. Sometimes just 'putting it out there' puts it into perspective. I don't know why I thought I might have thrown a spanner in the works so to speak roses; even if I had my little spanner couldn't impede God's plan. I guess I felt at some level that I'd let Him down, that despite having asked Him to take this burden from me I was still hanging on to it.

Once again, thank you.

TriciaF Thu 22-Jun-17 15:02:59

An alternative is acceptance of the situation. It's not the same as giving up hope, but can give you more peace of mind.
If you can do it.
And maybe pray that one day things will change.

Smileless2012 Fri 23-Jun-17 14:42:15

Slept much better last nightsmile; just thought I'd let you all know how much you helpedflowers.

Anniebach Fri 23-Jun-17 15:15:15

That's good X