Sorry this is so long. I've been thinking over these things a lot lately.
I've had a life-long struggle with this question, too, HettyMaud. I would lay in bed many nights at a very young age thinking about about death and the endless universe and work myself into a panic. My parents were atheist and I envied those who grew up with religious faith. Very early on, however, friends up the street told me that my parents would go to hell for not believing or being baptized which made no sense at all to me. My mom and dad were, in my mind, very good people. That only made me more confused and gave me another thing to worry about late at night.
In my teens, I tried to make sense of all the suffering I saw in the world. I read up on religion and philosophy - (CS Lewis, Alan Watts' The Book, Viktor Frankl's Man's Search for Meaning, etc.), and went to different church services with many friends. I finally realized that I couldn't attach myself to any church that thought their beliefs were "right" and everyone else's were "wrong". Religious dogma seemed very restrictive and cruel to me. Re/ the Bible, I couldn't understand how people could accept each word as the truth when it conflicted itself in so many place and was dependent on hearsay, alterations by the church, translation errors, historical differences in how words were defined, and changes over time as BradfordLass refers to in her 10/1 post.
I was living away from my parents for the first time when I saw the Challenger blow up live on TV. I was a teacher, at home with my first son, and was devastated by the tragedy and alone in a new place. I turned again to reading - When Bad Things Happen To Good People" and books by Raymond Moody, Ken Ring, Michael Sabom about NDEs (Near Death Experiences). Re/ the latter, I loved that so many people came back from these experiences feeling some of the things that had always felt true to me: less attachment to dogma, a belief in the universality of all religions, less interest in material things, more tolerance and caring for others, and so on. Most also lost their fear of death! I'd found something like religion that I could hold on to. Hetty Maud, given what you said in your reply to all of the comments, I thought you might be interested in the above. Or not. 
I've since read dozens books on those types of topics and experiences, all of which needed to be based on research and/or verified anecdotes. I worked as a hospice volunteer, cared for my grandma and mom when they were terminally ill and had some interesting experiences during those times.
I can currently boil my beliefs down to only two things - I feel we are more than our physical bodies and that life involves loving and being kind and connected to others. I still find myself in the "middle" of any discussion, not really fitting in with my atheist family, religious friends, or those who believe in crystals and such. I used to joke that I keep an open mind but not so open that anything could fall into it 
. I don't care what people believe in if it brings them comfort, as long as it isn't hurtful to others. Who are we to claim any ultimate knowledge?
It's all a mystery, one that has recently preoccupied me, again, since my dad died a few weeks ago. He was my hero and the person I relied on most in life and I miss him so, so much. I'd love to think that he's not just gone and ashes in a box. I want to believe that he is still with me and that I will see him and Mom again someday but who knows... 
