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struggle with Catholic faith

(103 Posts)
Judy54 Sun 10-Nov-19 17:26:28

I have struggled for sometime with the teachings of the Catholic Church and stopped going to Mass on a regular basis. Recently I went to a Church of England service where the welcome was very warm not something I have ever experienced in the Catholic Church. My dilemma is a feeling of guilt having been born and brought up as Catholic to now consider moving to the C of E, it does seem to offer me what I am looking for. Has anyone else experienced this and if so how did you reconcile yourself to it.

phoenix Mon 11-Nov-19 19:43:34

I have always struggled with the Catholic/Protestant divide, to actually fight and kill over disagreement over the same deity is beyond me!

I'm probably out of order saying this, but having had conversations with friends brought up in the Catholic faith, it seems to be one based on fear, rather than love and forgiveness.

Damdee Mon 11-Nov-19 19:32:56

I am a Catholic but we are taught there is one God so what does it matter where you worship? I live in a little village with a C of E chapel converted from an old bakehouse. I always go there on Christmas morning as it is 2 minutes from home and it is wonderful to worship with usually only about 12 people in a tiny little intimate chapel. This summer I was staying in Devon and walked into a village just as a service was starting in a C of E church so I stayed and enjoyed it very much. And sometimes I go to my Catholic church. So do what feel right for you and worship God wherever and whenever - and God Bless!

LuckyFour Mon 11-Nov-19 18:50:22

Go to whichever church you want to. there is only one God, what difference does it make. Your faith won't change.

Alexa Mon 11-Nov-19 17:49:10

"One vicar decided to make a health and safety announcement about fire escapes during a wedding service."

Not the best time to plan their divorce.

M0nica Mon 11-Nov-19 17:09:42

I have been a catholic for 76 years and never been affected by the feelings of guilt that I keep being told are so prevalent, not only that I do not know any other catholic who has suffered from it either.

GeorgyGirl Mon 11-Nov-19 16:44:53

No religion should make you feel guilty at all, it is how you have been conditioned by it. Follow your own heart and enjoy where you feel the most comfortable.

chickkygran Mon 11-Nov-19 16:06:45

As a Catholic you are always going to feel guilty. I was raised as a Catholic & it never leaves you, the guilt about just living life. Go with what is best for you xx

Conni7 Mon 11-Nov-19 16:02:42

I went to a convent school and can well understand the feeling of guilt. I think it stems from the "once a Catholic, always a Catholic" which was bred into us. I was instructed to try and convert my father who was not a Catholic, and the most harmless of men. When I wanted to marry a non-Catholic, the priest was so horrid that we went off and married in the local C of E and I have never looked back. Still the feeling that I might end up in Purgatory or Hell!

trisher Mon 11-Nov-19 15:37:49

There isn't that much difference between Catholic churches and high Anglican churches. The real difference between the two as I understand it is transubstantiation. Catholics believe during communion the wafer and wine are changed into the body and blood of Christ, Anglicans believe that they are ust symbols for this things. That said no-one can see what you are thinking so you can believe what you like. Go where you are happiest, life is too short to spend somewhere you feel unhappy.

pen50 Mon 11-Nov-19 15:23:13

I married into a Catholic family. Several (really) of my in laws made the move over to the Church of England. I say, go for it. You're not the first.

Kathy1959 Mon 11-Nov-19 15:21:03

grandtanteJE65, that’s big of the Catholic Church! There is only one type of Christian , and that is ‘ Born again ‘. They are everywhere, some in church, some out. There are even some in Catholic Churches! I know Christians who would go into them to evangelise. I’ve never known one Catholic who isn’t riddled with guilt, and that is from the devil.

GreenGran78 Mon 11-Nov-19 15:15:53

There are two cathedrals in Liverpool. The traditional Anglican cathedral and the very modern-looking Catholic one. Both very beautiful, in their own way, and well worth a visit. They are connected by a road which is, co-incidentally, called Hope Street! Times have changed, since the 'old days', and they have interacted happily for many years.
Worship wherever you feel comfortable. It's not the path you take, but your conduct on the journey that is important.

Ooeyisit Mon 11-Nov-19 15:09:07

We have a few Catholics in our church which isn’t Catholic . We worship the same God . It doesn’t really matter where you praise and uphold his name It only matters that you do .

HannahLoisLuke Mon 11-Nov-19 15:06:09

My ex is a non practicing Catholic. Born into that religion and sent at age seven to a Catholic boarding school.
He always raged against his family religion, hated the school but was well and truly indoctrinated and to this day feels guilty about all sorts of things.

Go where you feel happy Judy and ignore those insidious guilt feelings.

grandtanteJE65 Mon 11-Nov-19 14:59:09

Speaking as a Catholic, you are responsible for your own soul. If it suits you better to worship in the C of E I am sure the Deity will accept that you have made an informed decision after examining your conscience.

Since Vatican 2 the Catholic church accepts that other Christians and even other religions have a valid path to God.

Phloembundle Mon 11-Nov-19 14:44:13

I feel exactly as you do. Brought up Catholic, indoctrinated through fear. Went to wonderful C of E primary school then to a Loreto convent school which I detested. All of a sudden the gentle, meek Jesus became a blood, guts and thunder God. Even my Irish, Catholic mother who hasn't been to church for years and despised her upbringing, still wants a priest for her funeral. I guess the saying - once a Catholic, is true. I have no answers but would like to hear how you get on. Good luck!

Smileless2012 Mon 11-Nov-19 14:33:29

My wonderful GM was like your friend Witzend, a devout Catholic.

I was confirmed into the C of E just before I was married as Mr. S. wouldn't have been able to take communion with me in a Catholic church if I'd been confirmed into the Catholic faith.

My mum said gran would be horrified; she wasn'tsmileshe said she was thankful that I had an active faith.

Enjoy and focus on your relationship with God Judy and not where you choose to practice your faithflowers.

Kathy1959 Mon 11-Nov-19 14:25:12

Jesus is the only person who matters. Churches are just buildings which do not necessarily house Christians. I had a Catholic friend once whose focus was the church. I wasn’t a Christian then, so she had a great opportunity to talk to me about Jesus, but she never once mentioned Him. We’ve had numerous bad experiences in many other churches, including C of E. I think there’s good intentions at the start, but man inherently likes to be in charge, and Jesus finds Himself on the outside, trying to get in! We’ve given up looking for somewhere we feel loved and comfortable, and have come to the conclusion, certainly where we live, that churches are just clubs for middle class Christians. If you find somewhere you feel you can focus on God, then go for it! There’s more people in church who have missed the point, than outside in the non Christian community. Remember, Jesus says we have to go through Him to get to the Father, not some man in a frock!! God bless.

HiPpyChick57 Mon 11-Nov-19 14:23:35

People are the Church and body of Christ. Where we choose to worship are just buildings. Some people worship in huts in the third world. They are no less Christian than someone who worships in a building full of gold and silver plates and chalices. In fact some of them are more attuned to God because there are no distractions in the way. God is waiting wherever you choose to seek Him.
Go to whatever church you feel at home in, because that’s what a church should feel like...a home... mine does, yet it’s upstairs in a bowling alley!!!

Magicmaggie Mon 11-Nov-19 14:13:36

I was brought up a Catholic, and spent most of my childhood
in convent boarding schools, attending mass every morning.
I then married a non-catholic, although we were married in
a Catholic Church.
When my ex-husband insisted on a divorce, I gave way and so was told by my parish priest that I couldn’t
receive Holy Communion.
I then started going to the Anglican Church and now prefer it,
especially as they have women priests and feel that if the
Catholic Church allowed women priests there would be
less incidents of sexual abuse.

Witzend Mon 11-Nov-19 14:07:57

Go where you feel comfortable and welcome, OP. Your 'new' church sounds lovely - and as you say, I'm sure God won't mind!

I do hope you're not harbouring any sort of residual feelings of the kind an Irish Catholic friend once told me about - into her teens she and her friends thought they'd be struck dead if they even entered a Protestant church. Such was the teaching of the nuns at her school at the time.

This lasted until she was 14, when she and friends happened to pass the Protestant church in their city - where the door was standing open. One of them said, 'Dare we go in?' and the rest were horrified at the mere idea.

But this brave girl did go in, while the others waited fearfully for a thunderbolt to strike her dead.

But after a quick look around (no thunderbolts) she said, 'It's just like our church!' - and from then on the spell was well and truly broken.

Friend is almost exactly the same age as me (brought up fairly lax C of E with hymns and prayers every day in school assembly) and TBH I found it amazing that anyone of my age had been taught to believe such things.

sandelf Mon 11-Nov-19 14:03:24

Well, on the grounds that your faith should help you - if C of E seemed to suit you I'd carry on attending for a while and see what you think.

Tweedle24 Mon 11-Nov-19 14:01:29

Bradfordlass Your post about climbing the mountain sums it up beautifully. What a lovely open minded cleric

Skweek1 Mon 11-Nov-19 13:56:45

Grew up as COE, converted to RC; then fell out big time with my best friend (DD1's godfather), who told me that because I was married in the eyes of the Church, I should go back to my husband (violent, unfaithful and a compulsive gambler). Members of the RC hierarchy told me that there was never a marriage, as he didn't intend to keep his vows and advised me to seek an annulment. Now a Wiccan, but with huge respect for good people, regardless of their faith.

Neilspurgeon0 Mon 11-Nov-19 13:49:16

I was brought up as an Anglo-Catholic, very ‘high church’ CofE but I gave it all up over the ordination of women - no problem with women becoming priests, huge problem with the CofE deciding unilaterally that they knew better than the Catholic and Orthodox wings who were not ready for the step at that time, although they are becoming more relaxed as time goes on.

I feel no guilt but many people felt I should have ‘gone to Rome’ as many people in my situation following Cardinals Neumann and Manning chose to do, but it never felt right to me, just follow your own conscience after prayer, it will be the right decision, for you.