Anniebach, true, but there are plenty of social opportunities in a friendly church to be welcomed, this thread is specifically about a service or mass involving holy communion.
Good Morning Thursday 5th November 2026
What would you put in Room 101?
After reading a post on another thread (I think it was called Hug or not to hug) I find myself agreeing with a poster who said she'd stopped going to church because of the silly embarrassing custom of shaking hands and wishing almost strangers "peace be with you".
It has put me off attending communion ever since it was introduced all those years ago.
I have written to our church wardens asking if we could delete it from one service a month so those who find it awkward and off-putting could feel at ease. I only got an acknowledgement.
I wish we could have a referendum 
How do you feel?
Anniebach, true, but there are plenty of social opportunities in a friendly church to be welcomed, this thread is specifically about a service or mass involving holy communion.
Why is it silly wishing peace to a stranger ?
Matthew 25. 31.40. I was a stranger and you welcomed me.
I feel that if you don't want to do it, don't. There are others that do so why should you ask that it be deleted. It isn't compulsory.
I hate it, I rarely go to Mass, I’m a poor Catholic but cannot quite get rid of the associated guilt.
I cringe having to do the whole sign of peace shenanigans.
I wear gloves most of the year at Mass since the sign of peace is a superb way to spread germs.
I think post Covid we could give it a miss or replace it with something less.... touchy
I agree with the poster who said it is for her an unwelcome interruption. I become more conscious of myself when I want to forget myself and it leads to some very clumsy situations, worrying about missing people out, watching people scrambling around to make the sign.
It’s rather like an unwelcome interval when watching an engrossing play!
When at a family christening my Mil misheard peace for pleased so shook hands with people saying pleased to meet you, saying to us ,they are very friendly here arnt they we had to smile .
In the Catholic mass it is said prior to the Agnus Dei (Lamb of God) another ancient prayer. It is a sign of reconciliation with your community prior to receiving Communion.
It isn't something that can be removed just because people don't like it. It has deep significance rooted in the Gospel. Sometimes people just nod or wave, which is fine, During Covid it has been removed for obvious reasons, but I will welcome its return for sure.
ExD Our new Priest has introduced Morning Prayer once a month with no Peace or Communion and it is very popular.
At our church since Covid we just wave to each other and say “Peace be with you”.
Pre Covid I didn’t mind shaking hands, but the kissing and hugging was not my cup of tea, especially by those who had a streaming cold!
When I first experienced The Peace I felt embarrassed as I didn’t know anyone, and wasn’t sure who I should shake hands with, as I had previously attended a Methodist Church and we didn’t do it there.
I think that it gives the rest of the congregation an opportunity to welcome visitors and show that we are friendly and welcoming.
No Peasblossom just holding a hand , not a polite handshake,
holding the hand for a few seconds longer than one would in a handshake, I wouldn’t want kissing , holding the hand is fine
Does it mean different things in different churches then? What did you pass round Anniebach? And was it accompanied by hugs and kisses?
I agree with those who find it uncomfortable and hypocritical. I always do it but I’d rather not.
I haven’t been able to attend Church for some time, I always liked passing the peace.
Whilst I can understand your feelings ExD I am very happy to exchange the sign of peace with my friends at church because there are no strangers there. As the saying goes strangers are friends that you have yet to meet. We are after all using the same words that Jesus did to greet his Disciples after his resurrection. So it is not a problem for me and sorry that you feel that way.
Yes Cabbie that was how I felt about it. That it intruded into the service. The move from the spiritual to the all-too physical hugs and kisses was too much for me.
Since my church reopened at Easter we do not do anything to share the peace, apart from the response which is written.
The peace of the Lord be always with you.
Response: And also with you.
I for one am hoping this will be how it continues, without the break in the service whilst people used to shake hands or hug.
It is a revised but ancient tradition of the church- in medieval times kissing the pax ( often a simple wooden board) and passing it around, was a sign of peace for the whole community and not just the person sitting next to you.
I don't think there's anything wrong with wishing anyone peace, whether you shake hands or not.
I find the tone of this thread rather mean spirited, but wish you all peace nevertheless.
We've never adopted the practice of exchanging the peace at our church - and I think people would leave if we did! We're a small community and we all know each other, so we greet each other informally and check on each others welfare before the service and say goodbye at the end. The peace has always seemed superfluous.
When visiting other churches we've had to do it but DH always complains that it just a way of wasting time and making the service go on longer! He is in favour of people getting together for coffee after the service, though, and having genuine caring conversations.
I read this and find it so sad. And makes me glad I have given up all this hypocrisy and nonsense.
I don’t go to church, nor am I a Christian but I would be happy to wish any one peace. Acquiring a bit of peace might make a troublesome person a nicer one!
But what I wouldn’t be happy about is shaking hands. When we stopped doing it due to COVID, I realised that I had never liked doing it (sweaty hands, yuk!). I’m going to avoid doing it future, I shall just raise a hand or do it the Muslim way, hand over heart which is a much nicer gesture.
But the people with you in church are not "strangers". We are all worshipping in the fellowship of other believers. Of course you don't need to hug people if you don't want to, but shaking hands, smiling, making eye contact is a way of bonding with others and ensuring everyone (especially strangers) are made to feel welcome within the Church.
I think it makes the service more inclusive and the sign of peace is something I do not mind to do. In the service at the beginning we are referred to as brothers and sisters in Christ
so what is wrong to offer our sign of peace to our brothers and sisters, I go to the church to hear the service not be hypocritical.
I often wondered who gets to decide and why?
I suppose 'they're think it makes the service seem more inclusive.
I posted on the other thread about it.
Hate it, we didn’t do it years ago, don’t know when it became the thing.
At our little country church, we just give a little wave to our near neighbour when the vicar announces it. At our main Group Church, the congregation trail up and down the aisles, hugging and kissing, (pre Covid)
Wasting several minutes of the service.
Then probably slagging each other off at the next coffee morning!
Registering is free, easy, and means you can join the discussion, watch threads and lots more.
Register now »Already registered? Log in with:
Gransnet »Get our top conversations, latest advice, fantastic competitions, and more, straight to your inbox. Sign up to our daily newsletter here.