Finding faith in later life.

What a lovely post Nannarose. My niece is now baptised and it was a lovely ceremony attended by close family. I believe she has the grace to rise above her critics and I love what your Nan used to say "Respect the Lord and be kind to each other is true religion". Like yourself I have friends of different faiths and some of none and it is so important to show respect for other people's beliefs. Thank you for your best wishes for my Niece which I shall pass on.

My father, whose sceptical questioning, socialism and atheism shaped my life, decided to get baptised and be an active Christian when he was 50.
He certainly didn't push any of his views on others, although would happily debate any of them long into the night (and especially if you bought some whisky along).
His friends joshed him about 'hedging his bets' but otherwise quite happily accepted it, as did we all. And if anything, it strengthened his practical socialism.

I think that your niece now knows who her true friends are. I remain an atheist, but have had good friends of different faiths, and we respect each other. My nan used to say 'Respect the Lord and be kind to each other is true religion'.

My best wishes to your niece. May she find the peace that many of my religious friends have; and the grace to rise above her critics.

I wouldn't find it necessary to share some of the more private decisions about myself to "friends".
People can gather a lot of "friends" and not all are close enough to confide in.
Religion is like a club, one that not everyone wants to be a member of.

I have to agree with red1, as I tried for 3 years to attend a church after a life time of not.
The cliquishness and the unwelcoming behaviour of the established parishioners was a bitter disappointment, and made me wonder if any had learned the lessons of Christianity at all.

Of course, having said that, cliques are found in every group of people, aren't they.
It seemed very sad that a church full of Christians were no better.
The 'leader' of this group was oblivious and not much more welcoming; it certainly was an eye-opener for me.

I wish your niece the very best, I do hope she is fortunate enough to be accepted and made welcome in her church.

No friend would resent her finding comfort - support - whatever it is that it she finds in her faith.

I was a sceptic and critic of all religion for years. Until real misfortunes hit and the light bulb came on. Religion CAN be used for manipulation, social control etc etc -BUT it can also give you a little more strength and control at times when you would otherwise BREAK. It just helps me be a bit of a nicer and stronger person than I am without it. - Also our traditional churches and their music etc are a huge part of the country's heritage. Imagine our towns and cities with NO religion - music, bells, art?

a brainwashed catholic as a child, with an equally brainwashed parent who digested all the beliefs and ruled with terror as the catholic church did prior vatican 2. the concept of a loving god did not come to me until i was in my 40s.i had totally rejected catholicism with a venom.Ive tried most religions east west etc, none of them make much sense,they all seem to have a common purpose, power over our critical thinking, amassing property and wealth and dividing us, Even dividing congregations ,cliques etc in each religion.With the increasing expose of child abuses I don't see how religion has a future.As for believing in a higher power of birth and destruction i say yes, whether it is a loving god is debateable.the power also gave me a mind to come to my own conclusions rather than blindly follow dogma.

If your niece's friends do not accept her as she is then they are not really her friends. They are denying her the right to her own reality.

I do believe in the existence of a "superior power" but I dont follow any particular religion. I am certainly not Christian. Ive always been interested in other people's beliefs and have had many interesting conversations with Mormons, Jehova's Witnesses, Moslems and even Spiritualists. I have never felt threatened by anyone who has a faith so long as they dont try to convert me to their beliefs.

Two of my very dear and close friends have returned to the church in later life and I am so happy for them. It is their lives and up to them. Be happy for her and tell her not to let her so called friends spoil everything for her.

nanna8

I got baptised at the ripe old age of 56. I had been Christened as a baby but I wanted to be baptised as a believer. It was a wonderful day and though I no longer attend that particular baptist church I still believe in baptism after you accept Christ as your saviour. Some in the church I attend now also believe this, some don’t. That’s how it goes, we all have our path .

Yes...Jesus only asks us to do two things...
Get baptised.
Take communion.
The rest is all man made in the churches.

I got baptised at the ripe old age of 56. I had been Christened as a baby but I wanted to be baptised as a believer. It was a wonderful day and though I no longer attend that particular baptist church I still believe in baptism after you accept Christ as your saviour. Some in the church I attend now also believe this, some don’t. That’s how it goes, we all have our path .

Redl, that is a wise decision.

"Don't cast your pearls before swine."

Not only religious faith but anything you hold dear is best reserved for people you know you can trust to respect you and what you think.

People should not make derogatory comments - each to his own. Unless she is planning a medieval style "Christian" campaign, slashing heads off the heathens then it is no-one else's business.

Just seen this thread and wanted to pass on my congratulations to your niece Judy. I hope she'll be able to enjoy celebrating her baptism with those who love and support her.

I was baptised age 35. We do get critical comments, but know to expect them. It makes no difference at all.

Congratulations to your niece, she’s in very good company.

seems a bit cruel to mock whtever people's affiliation or not

i would never tell anyone my faith, i don't have one at the mo!
it is highly personal, you leave yourself to shot at, it brings in the old divisions of tribalism etc.As for friends, i would say keep your enemies closer.

I was christened and confirmed as a child because it was expected. I went to church and Sunday school until a young teenager when I stopped.
I did not marry in church or christen my children as I felt it was disrespectful to use the church for these occasions just as an opportunity fur a big Party.
I am still not a believer but am interested in different religions and love the peace of a churchyard.
My dd has not had her children christened, and neither dd married in church.
As for being baptised as an adult it’s a current story line in the Archers. I wish all who wish to do this well. It’s really rather nice because it’s actually been properly thought out and decided upon. It means more.

I wasn’t christened and didn’t christen my children, and was a little taken aback that my Catholic dil baptised my gc, though I should have anticipated this. She called herself a bit of a holiday Catholic, but it’s her family culture. But watching via video link it was very moving seeing dil and son and the god parents dedicate themselves to gc spiritual journey.
The god parents are very involved with gc, baby sitting and Sunday dinners etc. If I can’t be there to be involved it’s lovely to know GC isn’t missing out on extended family activities.

I think it’s important that Christians as a group don’t allow themselves to be made invisible out of fear. In her place I would tell people, but I’d be prepared for some not liking it. She will probably make new (Christian) friends who will hopefully be better ones.

I was baptised around her age myself, but nobody I knew objected.

Caleo

If her faith were personal to her she'd not want to join a religious group.

what nonsense! There are plenty of things in life that are personal and yet people choose to share them with a group of people who will understand and accept. The first one that comes to mind is breavement.

I would say that those friends aren't friends

If her faith were personal to her she'd not want to join a religious group.

Your niece is by no means alone.

All of us who actively believe in God and either say so, or make this apparent in other ways, like DH and I who have a crucifix in our sitting-room have experienced the kind of comments that are troubling your niece.

In time she will become more thick-skinned about these remarks.

In the meantime, I would suggest that she doesn't mention her beliefs unless asked about them. If reactions are then demeaning, she is at liberty to ask her friends to show some respect for her choices.

After all from what you say, she is not trying actively to convert them, so there is no reason I can see for her friends and acquaintances to shun her.

In my experience, born again religious people can get overwhelming, in some cases, trying to recruit you too

I hope it is not the vibe your niece gave

Her friends all suck and are unsupportive - your niece could look for better friends for sure
Your niece may have done something to alienate them all

Thanks everyone for your replies. My Niece just wanted to share her happiness with her friends. We all often talk to friends about our news whether good or bad so that they can rejoice with or commiserate with us. She could just have easily been telling them that she had a promotion, new job, new house etc. It was just the fact that she told them that she had been going to church and wanted to get baptised that did not go down to well. I understand that religion is not for everyone and it is a shame that her friends could not be more supportive or kind to her.

Religion is very personal

I agree with a PP who questioned why her friends know or even need to know

With this post, we do not have enough to go for feedback
Could her friends be mean or playful?
Could your niece be pushing her faith on them?
Could your niece be talking about just religion?