I hesitated but make bold to add that the poem does not originate in the Edwardian music hall but is a creation of Les Barker whose work often recollects the monologues of Stanley Holloway (Albert at the zoo). Although English, since taking up residence in Wales, Les Barker has become fluent in Welsh. In 2008 he was awarded the NIACE Inspire Award as Welsh Learner of the Year and recited his poem "Have you Got Any News of the Iceberg?" in Welsh at the presentation in Swansea. Other poems include Alexander Greyhound Bell, The Twilight of the Dogs and Guide Cats. Quirky.
I will now duck down to avoid the mass outrage and condemnation of references to the visually impaired, Wagner (who was a Nazi) and telephone inventors.