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Mouse farts.

(37 Posts)
janerowena Wed 26-Nov-14 12:46:21

Tell it like it is, I say.

Did you know that mice fart? No, nor did I until this morning. BH bought me tea in bed and I was lying there listening to the sound of his car driving away and heard an almighty great fart coming from beneath the floorboards to my left. I couldn't even blame DBH as he wasn't there. I thought I was imagining things, really, until I heard another one.

I went downstairs and turned on this computer, situated almost directly beneath our bed, and could hear lots of scrabbling going on above my head. So now I can't escape the fact that a family of farting mice have moved in for the winter, under the bedroom floorboards and carpet where I can't even get to them to evict them!

I googled farting mice (please God don't ever let my computer be requisitioned for any purpose) and this was just one of the many results.

jinglbellsfrocks Wed 26-Nov-14 12:49:10


You need to move.

pompa Wed 26-Nov-14 12:57:54

What's todays date 1st April ?, no.
Ah, now if there are enough of them, you could heat the house with methane.

pompa Wed 26-Nov-14 12:59:52

Then it could be one of these :-

janerowena Wed 26-Nov-14 13:05:53

Oh God please no. Although that does sound more like it!

janerowena Wed 26-Nov-14 13:07:00

One of the joys of living in the countryside, jings. The countryside moves in with you for the winter. I've even had a pheasant pecking at the French windows wanting to be let in.

jinglbellsfrocks Wed 26-Nov-14 13:08:14

Stop it!!! Stop it now!

janerowena Wed 26-Nov-14 13:09:05

I'll console myself with the thought of our heating bills being lowered by rodent-generated methane then. 'Always look on the bright si-ide of Life, tee dum, tee...' No, doesn't work.

janerowena Wed 26-Nov-14 13:09:36

Stop what? I would stop them if I could!

jinglbellsfrocks Wed 26-Nov-14 13:10:04

That pheasant thought his reflection was another pheasant threatening his territory. I get bluet it's doing the same. (Shudder) (bird phobia)

jinglbellsfrocks Wed 26-Nov-14 13:10:40


pompa Wed 26-Nov-14 13:13:30

For any pheasant wanting to be let in here, it would be a one way trip. [yummy]

jinglbellsfrocks Wed 26-Nov-14 13:16:03


janerowena Wed 26-Nov-14 13:21:57

Here too! Which is why DBH hides the air rifle from me.

I need a mousecam don't I, to poke under the floorboards. I too could be a Youtube sensation - janerowena's incredibly flatulent floorboards.

jinglbellsfrocks Wed 26-Nov-14 13:25:16

Oh look! You/your mouse/rat are in Discussions of the Day. That was quick. Was thinking they hadn't redone them for a while.

TriciaF Wed 26-Nov-14 13:37:17

Janerowena - I sympathise with you, we get mouse visitors every autumn too. Though I've never heard one fart ( my hearing isn't too good.)
They can get in through the tiniest of cracks, I saw one in our upstairs bathroom sliding off under the skirting board.
The worst thing they've done is damage my piano - they use the soft materials to make a nest. I'll have to play more often.
Keep us updated, especially if you manage to get rid of them (I don't like to use poison.)

jinglbellsfrocks Wed 26-Nov-14 14:00:33

It could be squirrels. They must fart too.

hildajenniJ Wed 26-Nov-14 14:04:05

We used to get them when we lived in the country, little fieldmice looking for somewhere warm. The worst thing about that though was when the mice died in the walls, the smell was disgusting.
Now that I live on the outskirts of a small town all I get is pheasants strutting around the garden.

rosesarered Wed 26-Nov-14 14:39:35

Wait until you get rat farts!

rosesarered Wed 26-Nov-14 14:43:19

There was a large brown rat hoovering up the seeds under one of our bird feeders the other day, which is next to the house.It jumped into a plant pot and sat and looked at me. It had whiskers and quite a nice face and pink hands and feet.However, I don't want it [and it's mates] moving into the loft for the Winter, so we took the bird feeder away.Am listening out now for sounds from the loft [ a fieldmouse up there would be ok though.]

Mishap Wed 26-Nov-14 16:50:07

With all these mice farting I am beginning to worry about the hole in the ozone layer!

Anne58 Wed 26-Nov-14 17:51:50

And to think they try to blame it all on cows!

pompa Wed 26-Nov-14 18:07:41

How many mice = one cow

janerowena Wed 26-Nov-14 18:39:58

I don't know - but I was just upstairs doing my hair and getting ready to go out and I heard squeaks. I'm sure they are laughing at me. If I give them some of that nice blue stuff to eat and they die, the smell in our bedroom will be even worse than even DBH can make it after a curry. I need a ferret.

merlotgran Wed 26-Nov-14 18:47:26

The smell is terrible. We had a rat die under the floorboards in the dining room a couple of days before last Christmas. Never before have I got through so many scented candles in such a short time.