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New Granny's Survival Guide - October

(18 Posts)
CariGransnet (GNHQ) Tue 03-Sep-13 12:26:05

As you know - the book (as per the other thread of very similar name) is out in October (17). Meanwhile we would love to know your views on the following:

What are the main areas of difference between how you brought up your children and how they in turn are bringing up theirs?

Are there any similarities that have surprised you?

ninathenana Tue 03-Sep-13 16:41:47

I'm always delighted to hear 4 yr old DGS use the good manners DD has taught him. This is something that was instilled in her at a very early age.
DD also makes sure the family sit at the dining table together to eat. SIL found this an alien concept when they were first together. He soon learnt to conform grin
Unfortunately he still cannot be relied on to stick to the regular bed time routine when DD is not around. This is also something she was brought up with.
I can't think of anything DD does that's different to how I did things.

j08 Tue 03-Sep-13 18:35:21

It's surprisingly similar in my case. Although I think she is a better mother than I was. (I was alright. She is excellent)

Lona Tue 03-Sep-13 19:34:53

My dd has very different ideas about bringing up her dds (I had to learn to button my lip!) and yet my son thinks I'm 'The Oracle' and consults me about the way to do everything with his children!

Granny23 Tue 03-Sep-13 20:32:54

The major difference between myself and my DDs is that I brought them up virtually single handed. DH worked 2 jobs to keep the family afloat financially whilst I had 8 years 'at home' and then back to work part-time only until they were at secondary school. My own mum was always ill and MIL would not come to babysit.

OTOH both my DDs have worked throughout their children's lives and all 3 DGC have experienced a variety of childcare including Mum and/or Dad, nursery, childminder, their Aunties/Uncles and principally Grandparents. Personally, I think the DGC have benefitted greatly from this wider range of experience with different personalities whereas their mothers were stuck with only me and my faults, ideas and talents, for better or worse, good days and bad.

harrigran Sun 08-Sep-13 00:09:25

My children stayed at home with me and never went to a nursery. GC have been in Nurseries since they were 10 months old because both parents worked. My children were toilet trained much quicker and dry at night from the age of two, GC in bedtime nappies at four hmm
Mealtimes in my house were two choices, take it or leave it, children nowadays seem to be given a lot of choice regarding their food.

LizG Sun 08-Sep-13 00:17:08

My daughters seem to be doing a better job of it than I did, they were obviously determined not to make the same mistakes blush

janeainsworth Mon 09-Sep-13 07:50:39

I agree with Harrigran about the amount of choice children seem to have. I never dreamed of asking, for example, what colour beaker they would like to drink out of, or whether they would like their toast cut up into squares or triangles.
I'm sure there must be a good child-development-type reason for this.
On the other hand I loved reading to my children and am pleased that the DGCs are being encouraged to enjoy books too.

Nelliemoser Mon 09-Sep-13 09:22:32

I think my DD is a bit more fussy about getting DD to sleep than I ever was. Mine napped well during the day. DGS is dreadful at this and really has trouble sleeping for long. I cannot work out if it is because he really does seem to be a very very light sleeper or DDs mismanagement. She has always fed him to sleep and is really not happy about leaving him to fuss.
Even I worry about how little he naps during the day.

Otherwise she is not too worried about over cleanliness, that is, she does not feel she has to disinfect every surface the little fellow touches. She is of the "you have eat a peck of dirt before you die" mind set.
She is a natural at talking to him and playing with him and he is happy and responsive.

I also agree with Harrigran
I am concerned about this "give the children choices" attitude you hear about. Its not sensible to always ask young children what they want to eat wear or such like.
Parents should be parents and maintain some control over issues that are welfare and safety related. With young children some things should be non negotiable or of limited choice. You can have a or b! You will wash your hands before and after dinner or using the toilet. You will wear warm enough clothes in the winter.
Too much choice of what to eat or wear can become battle ground where children can easily learn to manipulate parents.

NfkDumpling Fri 13-Sep-13 17:47:17

Ditto what Harrigran said except my DDs quickly learnt the phraseology of giving their children choice - eg: "do you want to clean your teeth before or after your story?"

liminetta Sat 21-Sep-13 08:09:04

Ime with Harrigran totally on this. Parents should maintain their control and Power over their young children. The children are too young to make informed choices about certain things.After all, their parents bear the ultimate responsibility for them.

liminetta Sat 21-Sep-13 08:13:23

Same as, I might add; choice of school meals should be scrapped. At the school I worked at, the kids got confused about what to choose, they were confronted with so much choice. Meat , potatoes and a veg, then a piece of fruit is what I recommend , take it or leave it.And a vegetarian option, of course.Stop all this pussyfooting about!

whenim64 Sat 21-Sep-13 08:31:36

Yes, same here. No choice, just everybody gets the same, either meat or veggie. Take or or leave it. I quickly realised that being overly liberal with children backfires. I remember my children chirping back to me 'but you said we've got choice!' Yeah, but not about meals, bedtime and whether you do your homework! grin

annsixty Sat 21-Sep-13 09:15:04

Re list in DT Weekend headed Useful things to know when looking after small children. I was mortified to read that the list had come from GN members. I don't think anyone needs to pay £12-99 for such "advice".

CariGransnet (GNHQ) Mon 23-Sep-13 15:57:10

Hello annsixty - just to reassure you the list they picked out in the paper was from some of the light-hearted bits we included at the very end of the book: the rest is "proper", useful advice for people looking for reassurance/ideas or dealing with tricky situations etc

Maniac Mon 23-Sep-13 17:26:33

The new Granny's Survival Guide will surely need a section warning of the possibility of being denied contact with GC and advice in this situation.

Nelliemoser Mon 23-Sep-13 18:11:08

Some essential knowledge! Learn which is the back and front of a disposable nappy.
Do not drive 50 miles to babysit your grandchild while your daughter is working and then drive 50miles back with your DGS's car seat in the back of your car. Fortunately the little fellow wasn't in it.
The return is a job for Grandad tomorrow. Good job DD is a baby wearer.

CariGransnet (GNHQ) Mon 23-Sep-13 19:24:56

maniac Absolutely - no way we would have left this out.