Does anyone really say "tummies"?

I don't find I need to mention my faeces, or the process of defecating, very often ever. I might say "I need the loo" but I'm not in the habit of telling people when I need to crap.

I know Sel where's it gone? I was constantly in fits of laughter as a child when I heard the word "business meeting" crop up, I think I believed that the people involved in these strange goings on were meeting up for a communal opening of their bowels, to put it politely, after which they compared notes on the whole experience and then if you pardon the pun went on to pass a motion! "Business man" well to me that was someone who hadn't mastered the art of wiping their bottom!

As well as using the term "business" if as a young child, when out with my mother, I had to use a public toilet, she would go through a peculiar ritual of placing pieces of toilet paper all round the seat before my bum, ooops sorry bottom, made contact, a bit of a nuisance, when are dying to go!

It doesn't really matter but is a bit of fun when you find yourself unexpectedly at home on a grey miserable day!

My sons call me Mummy!

When my boys were little, during a conversation with a babysitter she asked what they call their private parts ...'Penis' I replied (me being a nurse). She said she would be too embarrassed to use such a word and would stick with privates!

BAnanas I haven't heard business in such a long time Used in our house too when I was growing up and I never understood the reason (still don't)

I just love it when children get to the slightly lavatorial age and think the funniest words they can utter are "wee wee" and "bottom". Very endearing!

Of course it doesn't matter, it's just personal observations!

Even worse from adult men!

I hate 'hubby' too - usually used by some idiot telling us what a fluffy little thing she is and how her husband does everything for her.

I use stomach, knickers, lavatory but also belly, piss (as in 'off' - understood by men everywhere), and the anatomical names for all the parts of the body (where I know them).

'Mummy' and 'Daddy' from adult women makes me want to scream. For goodness sake, grow up!

Lots of things don't really matter, Eloethan, but most of us still like to give our opinions!

I'm off for a crap ana

Does it really matter?

They say 'bathroom' when they mean toilet, too - must lead to confusion and embarrassment at times when visiting this country...

moomin, I'm with you on "poo" personally I prefer shit, or even shite, slightly more refined. My mother always called it business, that doesn't seem to be used in a number 2 sort of context anymore. Number twos is a nice euphemism in my opinion, but others may find it coy, it is of course, but it's quite a good way of referring to the opening of one's bowels to children, poo is the stuff in babies nappies!

Describing one's stomach as a tummy as an adult is almost in the same category as referring to your mother as mummy, sounds as if the speaker has never left their childhood behind.

Can anything better the Australian term "rack off" or the Irish "feck off" We all know what they mean but they have a much more folksy tone!

My number one ridiculous euphemism would have to go to the Americans, yes them again, in the use of the word "restroom" instead of lavatory or toilet. We all know what they are there for and aint for having a rest!

What do you say, then moomin?

Reminds me of when I was in the Infants' class and one little boy was trying to join in with the other boys being silly about 'wee and poo' but as he was a doctor's son he kept referring to 'motions'...no one knew what he was on about!

Whilst on the subject of nauseating words, for me it is "poo" - particularly when used in adult conversation! I know it is in wide usage but it drives me mad!

I am apparently very coarse, I use the words piss, bastard, fart and belly almost on a daily basis!

We used to sing a song with the kids (oops, there I go again)

'Put your finger on your belly, on your belly.
Put your finger on your belly,
Does it feel like strawberry jelly?
'Put your finger on your belly, on your belly!'

There are other verses referring to other body parts. This is , according to refined GNers, the most coarse!

My rather refined Granny (she was a mill worker but married 'up') referred to any discomfort in your middle as a 'pain in the pinny'. Phrase was also used to describe someone who was a 'pain in the neck' or 'a**e'. She seemed to have an aversion to naming any body parts, substituting 'below' for anything in THAT region and made a classic statement that someone was 'showing too much of her Lady Chest'.

I have just spent two hours making a six foot high wood pile so I'm taking no piss from anyone.

Is Kate counted as royal now?

I seem to remember jess used belly after the recent royal kid was born, in a reference to Kate's post-partum belly. Tut, tut, jess

As if royal persons had bellies!

I say piss. As in, to DH: I need you to go and piss on the compost heap.

It helps with the breakdown process. Male piss is better than female piss for this purpose. Slightly different chemical composition, you know.

I piss on our compost heaps too though, sometimes.

Bastard has changed its meaning. It's irrelevant for parental purpose nowadays but it's useful occasionally for when one is angry about something. One can call the causers of one's anger bastards. Not necessarily out loud.

As is piss off.

Belly belly belly
Wobbling like a jelly

(to the tune of Love goes where my Rosemary goes...)

Next lines?

I do not like it when people use the word veggies when they mean veg.
Veggies are people, if you must shorten the word for vegetarians. Veg is the abbreviation for vegetables.

Tummy of pork - love it phoenix

Hate the word 'belly' too - it sort of conjures up a picture of an overweight layabout in a string vest. And I'm Northern

I can't stand 'kiddies'.

Unless with a young child I use stomach or abdomen, depending on whether I am talking about an area above or below the navel.