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I just do not understand...

(145 Posts)
j08 Mon 14-Oct-13 18:26:27

...why people, usually otherwise lurkers, post problems on Gransnet and then get snotty if an answer crops up that they didn't want to hear.

Why bother? confused

j08 Tue 15-Oct-13 10:07:32

And if anyone wishes to tell me to fuck off, I will quite understand where they are coming from. smile

j08 Tue 15-Oct-13 10:06:21

No Jess I will not "confine" myself to other threads. My advice is as good as the next person's. Sometimes better. NEVER deliberately cruel or unkind.

Oh, and I do "get it". I get most of the stuff posted on here. Sometimes I wish I didn't.

janeainsworth Tue 15-Oct-13 10:03:26

I stand corrected Sel shock

thatbags Tue 15-Oct-13 09:59:02

I agree that there's no need for deliberate unkindness, jane. I don't think there was any towards the OP of the thread that I'm presuming sparked this one.

Lona Tue 15-Oct-13 09:54:48

I've suspected some "thread starters" for quite a while. It makes sense to keep things moving.

Riverwalk Tue 15-Oct-13 09:50:52

Didn't someone once suggest that j08 was Geraldine's mum! grin

Riverwalk Tue 15-Oct-13 09:49:27

Blimey Sel what an eye-opener!

Sel Tue 15-Oct-13 09:44:25

I am dashing out: just Google paid forum postings - it's not bizarre at all, it make perfect sense.

Riverwalk Tue 15-Oct-13 09:43:59

Jess I think there's nothing wrong with "well-meaning but rather bracing advice".

In the main, members offer sympathetic advice along with practical suggestions to a problem, but often the one prickly or curt reply sets people off with accusations of unkindness and rudeness.

In real life a bunch of friends would have differing opinions on how to sort out an issue - some would be the proverbial shoulder to cry on and others would tell you to pull yourself together and not be so selfish.

Offering hugs and flowers is all very well but doesn't solve problems.

JessM Tue 15-Oct-13 09:12:38

grin Sel that's an original conspiracy theory.
Going back to OP - Jings it is clear that you "don't get it" but that time and again you pile in and offer well-meaning but rather bracing advice that upsets the OP of the thread. What I don't get is why you keep on doing this when it obviously is not welcomed by these occasional visitors to GN.
You don't get it - so confine your wit and knowledge to some of the other threads. There are many to choose from these days.

janeainsworth Tue 15-Oct-13 09:04:33

I think your suggestion that GN actually pays people to come on and post their problems is quite bizarre Sel and way off the mark.
I do sometimes think the problems do not have the ring of truth but to suggest that GNHQ is responsible for them seems to challenge credibility.
I agree too with Bags that it is sometimes possible to read between the lines and visualise the other side.
But that doesn't excuse deliberate unkindness.

Sel Tue 15-Oct-13 08:53:17

It is noticeable at times that a question/dilemma is posed by a poster who's name I've never seen before - there are a flurry of replies, people get their knickers in a collective twist and the OP is never heard of again.

GN has to keep their boards active and at times it does feel a bit same old, same old. I would imagine there are professional posters on many forums who are paid to keep things active and interesting. Possibly even on Gransnet smile

thatbags Tue 15-Oct-13 08:04:07

I understand where jings is coming from. Sometimes, if you read between the lines of what the upset person has written, you can see signs of expectations which as it were "set them up" for disappointment. Sometimes everything they say is negative and you think, hmm.

It's possible to feel sympathy for the "baddy" in some stories.

kittylester Tue 15-Oct-13 08:00:58

Eloethan flowers

JessM Tue 15-Oct-13 07:56:02

well put eloethan

Faye Tue 15-Oct-13 04:54:30

jingle I wonder which J0 (eg mark 9) you reached before grannynet showed you the door. smile

Tegan Mon 14-Oct-13 23:48:00

And we all learn from it as well, as it's usually about something that has affected us in one way or another. Make us see things from other perspectives.

Eloethan Mon 14-Oct-13 23:43:29

I think that unless a poster specifically asks for advice or feedback, it shouldn't generally be offered - and even then it should only be offered in a gentle and tactful way.

It is actually very off-putting when you are upset, and trying to explain why you are upset, for someone to then start telling you where you are going wrong and what you should do/should have done. It's not about being a lovely sweet cuddly gran, it's about being sensitive to other people's sadness and disappointment.

Sel Mon 14-Oct-13 23:30:13

I'm tall and not especially narrow LizG but am told I am very cuddly. I take it as a euphemism for fat grin

LizG Mon 14-Oct-13 22:50:01

I would so love to be thought of as cuddly but too tall and too wide thlenvy make a good witch though!

Sel Mon 14-Oct-13 22:38:03

Oh I always think Printmiss sounds like that Aka I fit cuddly smile

Aka Mon 14-Oct-13 22:32:03

I don't think we have any 'lovely, sweet, cuddly grans' on here either thlhmm

Aka Mon 14-Oct-13 22:30:44

your you're

Aka Mon 14-Oct-13 22:30:28

And usually your very blunt straightforward.

Aka Mon 14-Oct-13 22:30:02

I haven't the foggiest what your talking about J0 thlconfused