Criticising other posters contributions

Yes, suicidal thoughts are very real, but so are windups from people who want to see how we will react! Maybe I am a cynical old B, but I have seen some posts on the forum which looked decidedly dodgy to me, but had several replies that would have had a joker chortling into his Pepsi. Better that than a sarcastic answer to someone really at the end of their tether, though. You just can't judge from a single post.

To be honest, I am feeling a bit acerbic today, so I think I shall go away and do something else before I tell someone to get a grip, or to pull the other leg, the one with the bells on.

There is plenty of housework to be done.

I think that Jingl is no stranger to robust replies and those of us who "know" her, might feel we ccan take this into account.
It is hard to judge, but I did not see anything today that might have "pushed someone over the edge". However, as a former Sam I too was trained to give a caller/client the benefit of the doubt until I was convinced otherwise. The extreme wind-ups frequently caused real grief and trauma when taken at face value and it was only afterwards that I would sometimes find out that a similar tale of woe had been peddled to another volunteeer.
I think Elegran's post right at the beginning of the thread (if this is what we are talking about) was wise, gentle and sensible, judging things just right. Of course there will be 2 sides to most if not all quandaries and it is not unrealistic to try to find out what the other side is.
If you are asked your opinion - you should be able to give it after all. Advice can be another matter altogether.

I think that the phrase "have a heart" is patronising. Those posters who know jingle of old know that she has a kind heart, as well as a certain no nonsense style when she wishes. I can understand her annoyance.

Not that she said anything that suggested she didn't have a heart.

I agree bags and wonder if jingle is always going to be jumped on for her style? I think she comes across as full of robust common sense personally! I suspect she'd be a good friend in need.

Thanks Bags and Gagagran. Appreciated.

I think there is also a difference between asking for actual advice and perhaps just hoping for some understanding and support.

I was one who missed your unique take on life when you temporarily left us jingl but I'm sure you'd be the first to agree that if you're prepared to give it out you also must be prepared to take it too. Ironic or what?

Soutra we weren't talking about a specific post today but more the general. I agree we have to give almost everyone the benefit of the doubt.

To be frank, I think the tone of this site (i.e. gransnet) is incredibly polite and courteous.
I'm not forever surfing around looking for social forums (fora ?),
but I've probably visited about an average number for an average person.
Believe it, you Guys are not the norm.
Mostly posters on even normal bulletin board sites express themselves in a much more robust fashion than happens here.
Clearly there is a back story to some of the posts above, but as a relative newcomer (and somewhat infrequent visitor) it's all over my innocent little head. . .

I thought that even if it wasn't A specific post , it was referring to something recent (pst deletions this morning) - hence my reference to "today", although I could have just left it without "today" in the sentence.

Its not what you say it is the way that you say it.

BerylBee the tone of the site has improved a lot since I first joined. I think we now, in general, tend to thrash things out in a less personal manner.

Aka I don't understand that. What have I "given out"? totally

Berylbee of course we are decorous - we are laydees
Let's not fret about what might or might nit have been said and in what particular tone of voice - that's threads about threads and that way lies dissent

Deletions this morning?
Some of us obviously spend more time on here than others...

Ok. This will get this thread deleted, but there.

This was started because I was pushed to my limits by a poster's (usual) remark on the thread "Reducing contact with Grandmother".

Will someone point out to me how I have "given it out" on that thread?

You were frank, that's all, jingl and gave your honest opinion.
Some prefer the Vicar's tea party approach to any situation.

Aka?

That's what I meant Jingl you gave your opinion, rather frankly. But by the same token I'm giving my opinion too. I'm not condemning or condoning, I'm simply saying...

I don't know about "giving it out" but I think a couple of things you have posted today were a bit OTT and borderline unpleasant.

To balance this, you have on many occasions shown great empathy.

I seem to be rubbing everyone up today. I've upset Soutra, Jingl and doubtless others. Blame me starting the 5:2 today I'm off to chew on a stick of rhubarb.

as someone who has been trained in basic psychiatry. May I put my very humble oar in?

jinglebellsfrocks
does the word mimophant mean anything to you?
kisses and hugs to you sweetheart

Well you have not upset me AKA , and I agree that things are thrashed out nowadays in a less personal manner !
although there is none about at the moment !