I don't disagree jingl but I'm out of step with most of my professional peers on this. One reason I'm glad to be coming to the end of my career rather than just starting out. There are no easy answers, every case is different, and I have seen mistakes made in every direction. Easy to be wise after the event! I favour open adoptions, where contact with birth relatives is maintained, but many adoptive parents don't want this. I think a far more flexible approach needs to be looked at for the future.
Interestingly Flowerofthewest, I think cutting children off from contact with their birth family increases the likelihood that they will 'vote with their feet' and seek out their parents when they are older. If contact is maintained in a safe manner it often allows children to grow up with a more realistic picture of their parents, and perhaps helps them to be more accepting of their foster carers.