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'Sharenting' - what do you think?

(30 Posts)
LucyGransnet (GNHQ) Thu 10-Nov-16 16:21:21

We've been asked to get your thoughts on the 'sharenting' phenomenon - that is, parents (or grandparents!) sharing pictures and documenting details of their children's lives, growth and progress online via social media outlets.

Is this an invasion of their privacy, before they're old enough to object? Or just a given in modern-day society? Do the updates get on your nerves? Or are they welcome in an age where so many families live long distances from each other?

We'd love to know your thoughts on this smile

Granny23 Thu 10-Nov-16 16:34:55

I think careful sharing is the key to this. We do share the everyday doings, high days and holidays and many pictures of the DGC but only within a defined group of extended family. However, I have no wish to see endless mundane pictures of children (and especially pets) that I do not even know, except when they have made a real achievement or done something outrageously funny.

Still I can put up with these more calmly than the daily influx of 'homilies' urging me to improve myself (I AM PERFECT ALREADY) and threats of lord knows what, if I fail to immediately pass them on to umpteen friends.

jordana Thu 10-Nov-16 16:35:51

No I would not share fotos of my grandchildren on social media. Too many risks involved with stalkers etc

Greyduster Thu 10-Nov-16 16:50:12

I'm another who would not put photographs of my grandchild on social media. Too much of a risk, even though he is so beautiful I would love to plaster his photograph everywhere for the whole world to see! grin

Mumsy Thu 10-Nov-16 16:51:01

A definite no no!! these pictures that are posted will be there forever! How are these children going to feel when they are older with all their pictures of them on the net!
Regardless of distance theres no need to post photos on social media for all to see, why not send them privately via emails?!

rosesarered Thu 10-Nov-16 17:39:24

exactly Mumsy I feel the same.

mrsjones Thu 10-Nov-16 18:11:03

I agree with Mumsy. I wouldn't post family photos on social media.

Grannyknot Thu 10-Nov-16 19:15:28

For one scary moment I thought "sharenting" was going to be a new idea where grandparents are expected to take full shared responsibility for grandchildren!

My DIL and son have tight security settings on any photograph of my grandchild so even if I wanted to share something they had posted, I couldn't. I rarely post photos of my grandson on social media, there's the occasional one on my own Facebook page (taken by me, and my daughter has set my security settings).

Never post them anywhere else, for example I wouldn't put them on here.

Grannyknot Thu 10-Nov-16 19:21:13

Just had a thought grin - my daughter thinks foisting my knitted creations on my grandson when he has no choice in the matter is violating his rights to not being made a fool of (e.g. a beanie with ears, anyone?)

So I wonder, am I knitsharenting when I sent her a photo of it?

Grannyknot Thu 10-Nov-16 19:24:49

(Sorry for posting 3 comments), but I also just remembered that I do sent photos of my GS on WhatsApp, but that's not public (and it is encrypted), but is it social media?

NanaandGrampy Thu 10-Nov-16 21:02:36

Yes I do use social media to share the children's photos with family only as we are spread across the world. My privacy is set accordingly.

The pictures are of the same sort that my mum would have shared with her mum physically . Just family snaps. I see no reason why the children would complain in later years any more than I did with the same pictures my mother shared of my siblings and myself.

janeainsworth Thu 10-Nov-16 22:10:54

I agree with you n&g
3 of my DGCs live in America and the other two 250 miles away, and it's a joy for me to be able to see photos of them on an almost daily basis.
Maybe I'm naive but I don't understand the concern about stalkers. I don't remember a single case of a child being taken by a stranger as a result of the child's photo appearing on Facebook.
Whatsapp isn't social media gk. No one can see what you send except the person you send it to.

Grannyknot Thu 10-Nov-16 22:28:34

Hi Jane, I realise that WhatsApp is private (but so is my Facebook account), so is only something that is public classed as social media?

I'm confused about what the phrase includes.

janeainsworth Thu 10-Nov-16 22:45:15

Your FB account isn't completely private, gk, in the sense that if anyone searched for your name, your profile would come up. They would be able to see your profile pic if you have one, and the banner pic across the top of your page. I've forgotten what it's called.
But I think that's all they would be able to see, if you have restricted access to your friends.
However, I think that if one of your friends commented on something on your page, their Friends would be able to see it too.
I'm not 100% sure about that but that's my understanding.

Shanma Fri 11-Nov-16 00:11:34

I loathe FB with a passion, was talked into trying it once by my SiL, soon got rid of it though. Regarding the post though I would never post pictures of Children on any social media thing. I know it seems a shame, I would LOVE to share on GN, and yet something inside says no. I imahine you all know what I mean.

If I am sent photos of my DGD( The Aubergine lover, lol), they are either by e mail or on watzap.

Shanma Fri 11-Nov-16 00:12:15

Imagine, not Imahine*

PamelaJ1 Fri 11-Nov-16 07:10:21

Ido use facebook occasionally to put family photos on but I only have 4 friends (my sisters and daughters)and they have had to swear they will not like or comment on anything I put there.
I now use i message or messenger. I have presumed they are private I certainly hope so.
I've defriended one sister because she shares everything! Mostly drivel. Her dog is a dog for goodness sake. Apart from the photos the captions are toe curlingly awful.
I don't think it's a good idea to put your private life into the public arena. It's not worth the regret it may bring later.

Iam64 Fri 11-Nov-16 07:40:04

I joined Facebook when I retired. I have the privacy setting to friends only. I do sometimes post photographs of family get togethers, or photographs of my grandchildren. I have friends and relatives in different parts of the world and it's good to keep in touch and see how the various children are getting on.

Isn't it the case that if we take down our Facebook account, no one can access our previous posts?

janeainsworth Fri 11-Nov-16 07:52:53

Yes, that's right Iam64.
The other thing I like FB for is that people share interesting articles from publications that I wouldn't otherwise see and I think I now read more widely than when we just had a daily newspaper delivered.

Mumsy Fri 11-Nov-16 07:57:27

Facebook is a social networking site, you may think your profile is set to private and you and your added friends are the only ones to see your profile but this is not the case, theres only a certain amount of privacy facebook offers. I used to be on facebook and I googled my name facebook and my so called private page came up showing loads of stuff! I also googled my name and looked at images and photos on facebook were on google for all too see!! Private does not mean private on the internet.

cornergran Fri 11-Nov-16 09:01:56

Off topic I know but associated. I am uncomfortable that images are shared via social networking of anyone without their permission, whether that be child or adult. In my opinion it is very different to printed photos which can be expected to have a limited audience. Having said that I often enjoy seeing posted images, so no real consistency in my own approach. Intrinsically I do not believe anything can be guaranteed to be private if shared via the internet.

gettingonabit Fri 11-Nov-16 09:53:59

I stay away from FB too. I don't post anything, although I have a profile (with nothing on it). I sometimes respond to something someone has said boasted about.

I'm in a Whatsapp friends group and enjoy seeing chums' photos. That's enough for me.

br0adwater Fri 11-Nov-16 10:02:32

Would never share photos of anyone, especially children. A friend of mine found an unflattering pic of herself on someone else's page without permission and was understandably upset. Children are even more at our mercy and we should never publish images of them, however safe we think/hope/guess it is.

henetha Fri 11-Nov-16 10:14:59

I would never do this. (not that I'm any good at these things anyway). But it seems to me to be an invasion of privacy, and possibly dangerous.

Jayh Fri 11-Nov-16 16:23:05

My family has set up an Instagram account to share photos. We are the only ones who can view them and it is a great way to keep up with what the children are doing.
Facebook is much too public for me even with the tightest security settings. I can't be bothered with it.