Rules for GN cafe

I took it that merlot meant that people were good and ready to 'dob' jings in if she dared to pop up again.

I'm not sure I understand Merlot , are you saying someone/ all of those who frequent the kitchen got Jingl banned ?

I suppose it's like real life. Those people who greet you with huge smiles and over enthusiastic hugs are often the ones who will bitch about you behind your back, while the bit stand-offish, awkward ones, who sometimes seem bad tempered tell you to your face if they don't like something and are there when you need them.

So true, trisher. Remember Baggs' Pond Slime thread?

jingl did have some genuine supporters in SK and they were not slow to speak up for her but sometimes it was as though there was a virtual klaxon on the wall which sounded whenever she made an outspoken comment and then later, snuck back in under the wire after she was banned. The zoomed in with amazing speed!

Of course there were lots of, 'Who, me Guv?' comments but you know who you are and so do we.

"JIngs did have a little spat with the kitchen" how is this possible? As you are all such supportive and nice people I imagine you would have greeted her comments with wisdom and concern, calmly assured her that things would be dealt with and sent her on her way filled with the sweetness and light you profess to offer.
Once again soop has to be brought into it. If as previously suggested this is like an infant's playground the posters on SK would seem to be like those children forever running to an adult and asking them to sort out the mess they have made.
Why is it none of you can say "Yes, we sometimes get it wrong, we're sorry it shouldn't happen we will try to stop doing this" but just go on and on making one excuse after another?

Please don't twist my words. I did not say that all kitcheners were against jingl, or that it was down to you that she left. And yes, the posts are still there. Once the current technical problems are sorted out, I'll post a link to those "gentle reminders".

There are many kitcheners who wrote posts in support of jings. Many of us liked her style and we're sorry she left. Jings did have a little spat with the kitchen but all was made up. Jings PM'd soop and all differences were resolved and soop welcomed jings to pop into the kitchen at any time. I believe you will find a number of kitchen posters (including me) who wrote on the thread about not wanting her to go so please don't try and make out it was down to us she left when in fact it was a problem with GNHQ.

There are occasions when new posters pop into the kitchen and make some posts which are not really in keeping with the rest of the posts and they are gently reminded of that. Of course those posts are still there.

I

Exactly as Rigby describes, I came across a string of SP posts discussing and disparaging jingl, shortly before she left GN, all in support of a kitchen regular who was playing the victim and obviously stirring up feeling against her. I commented that the discussion was unfair and what was being reported was inaccurate and was told that "she started it". Jingl had posted once and once only on that thread, to object to what was being said, so this didn't hold up. That was my first and last visit to the kitchen.

Well said, Rigby. Nobody needs to trawl threads to see what is written about them.

Well I for one didn't trawl SK looking to cause arguments - I logged onto GN ( sorry abou that) I clicked onto Last Hour ( sorry about har) I started trawling through threads to see if any interested me ( sorry about that) which shows the first sentence or so of each recent post on each thread ( sorry about that ) and a negative , judgemental, deliberately unkind ( well how was it not) comment about the political threads and the posters on those threads popped up - I couldn't not see it ( sorry about that). Well I still don't think that sort of post is acceptable and if you lovely people in SK think it is, then it says a lot lot lot more about you than it does about me. Just carry on with what you think is lovely, caring, sharing, supportive behaviour. If that's your view, fine, I just don't share it but of course you are all perfect and I am the devil incarnate. I can live with that.

Hear hear, agree totally.

I think we'd all agree with that

soop has always welcomed everyone into the kitchen.
Yes, there are occasions when someone will say that they have been upset on another thread or that they have caused upset on another thread but I have never thought that it was done deliberately. It is possible to cause upset to others quite unintentionally (as well as intentionally). The posters in the kitchen are a core group of mainly daily posters, some who post once or twice a week, some who pop in now and again. There is a great deal of support offered for those who have genuine problems and those who are really down for some reason. Ok some see it as sugary sweet discussion of cats with the odd chunk of cake thrown in but I can assure you it is far from that. We care about each other and the the troubles others have. Support for those with family or ill health problems, general chat and a few good laughs at ourselves makes up about 99 % of the threads.
soop does her very best to pop in every day and reply to most of the posts and is a very supportive and kindhearted person.

Good post juggernaut. Hope you had a lovely day.

Trisher
No, it's not right or fair for people to use a 'safe, non-confrontational place' to criticise others, but trawling the threads just looking to cause arguments is ridiculous behaviour for an adult!
My whole reasoning is that we should all try to get along peacefully.
Obviously there are always going to be disagreements, but surely we should ALL be capable of expressing differing opinions without resorting to personal attacks.
I have friends whose religious and political views entirely oppose mine, we have 'heated dicsussions' regularly, but we never resort to personal abuse. It's such a shame that some Gransnetters obviously lack that sort of intellectual maturity.
Right, off I go, it's a beautiful day here so we've de-camped across the road to the beach, where DGS is busily tottering about!

I don't go into/onto SK enough to know about what you're saying sometimes happens there, merlot, but if it does, then I agree wholeheartedly that it's not on.

And perhaps I shouldn't have called it a place. I can see why that might not work now. But I just meant a thread place, one that has its own atmosphere in a different way from most others.

Ok Juggernat but don't you think that if someone says something the other person should be able to respond?
Freedom of speech is great and we have it on most threads, but if someone sets up a thread as a safe unconfrontational place to post is it then right or fair to use that space to criticise others?

FFS!
As we are all more than likely 'mature' women (and men), why does this thread remind me so much of an infant school playground?
Some folk feel the need to go looking for an argument. It must be dreadful to be so insecure that you think everyone is talking about YOU!
There are truly dreadful things happening in this world, so, appreciate what you have. Freedom of speech isn't a God given right, so maybe thinking more before speaking would be a good idea!
In short, GROW UP!

Thanks NanaandGrampy I appreciate that. I think things can get heated and sometimes people get upset, but really it is just discussion and argument and we should be able to move on.
I do hope all is well with the puppy.

In that case I do Trisher . You sound like the voice of reason , so I apologise for doubting what you say and agree you can only speak for yourself, likewise me.

So, in that spirit , I apologise for offending - I will call them the political posters for expediency- I don't think they're right. But they are as entitled to their point of view as I am.

We're just off with him now - 2 days ago we called him Porky Sam ( probably offended him :-) ) but today he's lost far to much body weight for such a short period of time. The heat isn't helping either. So off to sell my kidney to pay for the vets - ah the things we do for beloved pets !

As far as I'm concerned it would Nanaand Grampy but then I can only ever speak personally and not for any other posters. I would be grateful if you could take what I say as honest and at least true as far as I am concerned.
Of course people can go and say they have had a bad day/ are feeling down, but is it really necessary to castigate someone and make it so obvious who they are? I have no objection to sympathy, but perhaps the appropriate response would be, sorry for you, but don't bring the s--t in here. Much as one does with a puppy or child. Things need to be in the right place.
Hope your puppy is Ok.

No it wouldn't Trisher and I think you know it.

And actually , maybe indirectly , twice in the beginning of the thread Rigby directed her comments directly at Soop . ( Sorry I don't have time to refer back as off to take poopy puppy to the vets :-) )

In regards to the 'rest of the nice posters' ( I'm not sure if that was sarcastic or not ) Maybe its because we agreed Trisher , maybe we could empathise ? Maybe we feel bullied when we do raise a head above the parapet on some political threads.

And that's ok for people to feel that way. And even vocalise it.

That's the thing about perspective, everyone has their own and just because we think differently does not make one of us right and one wrong, it just makes us different. What is said might not be meant as bullying but its how its perceived. And that is the right of the recipient- to feel about it how they like.

I'm bowing out of this thread because for me - its run its course. There are 2 sides and never the twain shall meet. I'm good with that.

Soop's Kitchen is not a 'place', safe or otherwise. It's a thread. We can all see what is written.

Some of us get annoyed when we see posts like, 'Ooooh I've ruffled a few feathers on another thread!'

That is kitchen speak for, 'I've been out with my wooden spoon and stirred up a bit of shit. I'm back here to gloat now because I can't be touched in the Holy of Holies'

Late last night I was jumped on by the head girl on her turbo-charged broomstick for entering into a joke which did not meet with her approval?

It cuts both ways. If you don't want it, don't dish it. I wouldn't dream of going into SK and saying any of the above but I'm bloody well going to say it on here.

Greyduster it certainly wasn't you I was referring to and I have posted the comment I found unacceptable earlier on this thread. All this would go away if the person responsible simply said sorry she was having a bad day instead of adopting first an amused and then outraged stance.

Greyduster

Speaking a Greek apparently.

The usual happened on GN yesterday, nothing more nothing less. It has been this way for quite a while again and I think many posters have noted common denominators.

I can imagine you are feeling a tad upset at how things have blown out of all proportion but the fact is it has become common place for offence to be taken where none was intended and the irony of who finds offence at times is not missed by many I would think.

I am sorry soop and her thread has received such attention but I saw nothing in your post to warrant this mania that has ensued .

I wish you and dear soop a happy weekend and remember this is all yesterdays chip paper and the band wagon will move on to something or somebody else soon.