Rules for GN cafe

I thought GN cafe was supposed to be a safe space for everyone on GN. But supposing you were someone who posted regularly on the political threads and were having a bad time in RL - if you then went into SK and saw judgemental posts about posters ( generic of course) on political threads on that thread, you might feel you couldn't post there safely IYSWIM. Is it a safe space for everyone regardless of posting history or not? Have you any comments soop?

Is it necessary to apply "rules"?
The "café" is a new concept but if you are referring to Soop's Kitchen, the ethos and guiding principles are clear.
Park argy bargy at the door, relax among people who are not there to prove a political point, are tolerant and patient and above all, kind to each other. By all means offload sorrows or burdens, but in a spirit of being among friends who will provide comfort where they can.
helps of course.

I think this is a good question to raise.

I always thought one of the important (as I understand them) guidelines of GN is that there is no cross-thread seepage (for want of a better expression).

My view is that opinions and attitudes of others expressed on threads should be left at the door of other threads.

that others express - not of others.

I'm sure a 'thread about a thread' breaks the rules so I would think it bad form to pass comment on anything posted on another thread.

It is a good question to raise.

It's irksome that some posters feel they have some kind of immunity because they can scuttle off to their 'safe haven' and then discuss their 'experience,' giving enough clues for everyone to know which thread they mean.

GN's rules should apply to everyone.

Well it will be interesting to see what HQ says because there is clearly a difference of opinion. I'm not a SK user but if I were, I can't imagine posting for example ' I've come on here to get away from all those posters who are complaining about their lazy husbands/ unreasonable DILs etc' I might say 'I've come on here for a change/ tell you about my kitten/ wonderful grandchildren/ to share my personal worries'

But Merlot they clearly don't and there are some on SK who make up the rules as they go along to suit themselves IMHO

I also actually think that any thread which is all about slagging off a specific group of posters is also bad form. But I better be careful to avoid TAAT rules hadn't I?

I don't think there is a thread for slagging off other posters rigby
That is certainly not the case in Soop's Kitchen.
However if you feel we need one, you could start one.

Thread about a thread.
No further comment.

GN threads can rapidly turn into nasty arguments. A quick look at SK leads me to think that those on it are looking for a place to offload. Maybe those upset by unpleasant posts need a place where they will find friendlier responses from kindred spirits. 'Rules' won't prevent this basic human urge. Most posters on GN are nice kind people not looking for arguments. Some people deliberately avoid the political threads. Maybe some people should avoid the less confrontational threads?

Jane have you missed the point? I fully understand the need for SK - I don't understand why it's ok for some posters to go on their and slag off the political threads and pass judgement on those that post on them. That's what I'm asking HQ about.

Lara - sorry but you haven't asked the question. Some posters think that as long as names aren't mentioned, they can slag off groups of posters on the political threads? Are you saying they can or they can't and that as long as individuals aren't named, it's OK - hie is that being non judgemental?

So sad that anyone has To seek a safe haven

Sigh ........

You're fighting a losing battle Rigby.

<pokes head over political threads parapet to assess whether or not it's safe to tie up the last of the (apolitical) bunting>...

The above was written by Lara on the Invitation thread yesterday, and I complained.

It was very clear when the first Soop Kitchen was opened that its purpose was to be a safe haven for those who were finding the more argumentative threads agitating in ways they couldn't cope with. I don't think there's anything wrong with that.

However, I agree that cross thread water-tightness is the ideal, so if someone has angered you on one thread you shouldn't then go and complain about it on another thread, expect in a very general way such as "I'm not coping with argy bargy very well today". That, to me, is as 'pointy' as it should ever get.

We all make mistakes sometimes though.

Some people were not here when the first soops kitchen was opened.
Nothing wrong with people going to soops kitchen if they feel they do not like the arguments on the political threads.
There is something wrong with them going on and complaining about groups of people on the political threads.
It's up to people who go on soops kitchen and the gransnet cafe forum to keep it as a safe haven.

Actually, HQ, I do object to the idea of Jo Cox being coopted to the gransnet cafe forum.
She was very political, wasn't she? That's why she was killed.

I think Jo Cox's politicalness involved "all-togetherness" so I don't see that her memory is being sullied by being mentioned in connection with something similar.

By the way, it is not politics that people want to retreat from, it is the batterings that are handed out to them by political enthusiasts when heads peek over the parapet.

Elegran I don't think the point is WHAT people are retreating from in SK , it's their arrogant assumption that they can slag off those of us on the political threads when they do so and that the rules don't apply to them whilst they clutch their pearls on other threads. Baggs the whinging moaning complaining about the political threads on SK is a regular phenomenon NOT a mistake. If you want evidence, look at the response to djs post on the cross posters thread - some users of SK think they have a RIGHT to criticise the political posters whilst on SK as long as they don't mention names. As I said, there's a group on SK who think they are above the rules and/or make them up as they go along.

ab the safe haven aspect of SK is about having a safe haven from a whole range of life's issues

I can't see any reason why the fact that a poster has had a hard time on other threads shouldn't be raised in the kitchen - in passing - just like real life and, as in real life, someone should be able to say 'I hear you'!