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Rules for GN cafe

(161 Posts)
Rigby46 Fri 16-Jun-17 09:00:24

HQ - can you clarify a point over which there is some current disagreement please You say that GN cafe is meant to be non- judgemental. Does this only mean non-judgemental re named individuals? if so, under the guidance is it fine to go on and pass judgement( negative of course) about groups of posters on the political ( or any other threads) so long as names aren't mentioned because this counts as being non judgemental?

MawBroon Fri 16-Jun-17 12:45:40

Message deleted by Gransnet. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Rigby46 Fri 16-Jun-17 12:44:26

I started this thread - of course it was a reference to me. Who else has started a thread about SK? Come on, do tell... Oh wait, you can't.

Elegran Fri 16-Jun-17 12:42:10

I didn't introduce crossness, but it is a theme at the moment. There's a lot of it about!

Elegran Fri 16-Jun-17 12:40:19

You are not alone, Rigby It wasn't a veiled reference to you at all.

Rigby46 Fri 16-Jun-17 12:36:15

And Elegan

Perhaps those who are getting so cross about the (occasional) references in SK to retiring from specific threads so much that they have to start a whole thread to defend themselves ....

You clearly mean me so why not have the straightforwardness to say so? And since when did bring cross become such an in word on GN?
Some might almost think it's code for something else......

jollyg Fri 16-Jun-17 12:33:56

Maybe the error 404 has come down on us as a bolt from the skies.

I too object to Jo Cox being brought into "kitchen' affairs, maybe thats where the rot started. Its an aniversary after all, and there are always bandwagon jumpers

Rigby46 Fri 16-Jun-17 12:33:04

Elegan you have just demonstrated by point beautifully - thank you so much.

Rigby46 Fri 16-Jun-17 12:31:44

Well * kitty* it's supposed to be non judgemental on there and so SPECIFICALLY criticising and whinging about the political threads and the posters on them is not being that is it? Why not PM one of your mates if you want to have a moan about a SPECIFIC thread/ group of threads? Sorry if you don't get this. The arguments of the apologists for the misuse of SK are getting increasing arcane - they know really ( well some of them do) that it's not on but can't admit it so constantly miss the point. It's simple really - SK is supposed to be a safe haven for ANYONE who wants it. Ergo, specific groups of posters from specific threads should not be being negatively targeted on there. You know it makes sense ( or do you?). I hope that's cross enough for you dear.

Elegran Fri 16-Jun-17 12:30:18

Perhaps those who are getting so cross about the (occasional) references in SK to retiring from specific threads so much that they have to start a whole thread to defend themselves could pay a visit to the threads on estrangement, where the regular posters are frequently very disparaging of what specific visitors to the thread have posted.

They could have a ball there - plenty of people to start a fight with, and ones who will fight back and give as good as they get.

durhamjen Fri 16-Jun-17 12:23:47

That makes it judgmental, kitty.

kittylester Fri 16-Jun-17 12:21:17

I can't see any reason why the fact that a poster has had a hard time on other threads shouldn't be raised in the kitchen - in passing - just like real life and, as in real life, someone should be able to say 'I hear you'!

Rigby46 Fri 16-Jun-17 12:16:17

ab the safe haven aspect of SK is about having a safe haven from a whole range of life's issues

Rigby46 Fri 16-Jun-17 12:13:43

Elegran I don't think the point is WHAT people are retreating from in SK , it's their arrogant assumption that they can slag off those of us on the political threads when they do so and that the rules don't apply to them whilst they clutch their pearls on other threads. Baggs the whinging moaning complaining about the political threads on SK is a regular phenomenon NOT a mistake. If you want evidence, look at the response to djs post on the cross posters thread - some users of SK think they have a RIGHT to criticise the political posters whilst on SK as long as they don't mention names. As I said, there's a group on SK who think they are above the rules and/or make them up as they go along.

Elegran Fri 16-Jun-17 12:04:28

I think Jo Cox's politicalness involved "all-togetherness" so I don't see that her memory is being sullied by being mentioned in connection with something similar.

By the way, it is not politics that people want to retreat from, it is the batterings that are handed out to them by political enthusiasts when heads peek over the parapet.

durhamjen Fri 16-Jun-17 11:56:23

Some people were not here when the first soops kitchen was opened.
Nothing wrong with people going to soops kitchen if they feel they do not like the arguments on the political threads.
There is something wrong with them going on and complaining about groups of people on the political threads.
It's up to people who go on soops kitchen and the gransnet cafe forum to keep it as a safe haven.

Actually, HQ, I do object to the idea of Jo Cox being coopted to the gransnet cafe forum.
She was very political, wasn't she? That's why she was killed.

Baggs Fri 16-Jun-17 10:27:28

It was very clear when the first Soop Kitchen was opened that its purpose was to be a safe haven for those who were finding the more argumentative threads agitating in ways they couldn't cope with. I don't think there's anything wrong with that.

However, I agree that cross thread water-tightness is the ideal, so if someone has angered you on one thread you shouldn't then go and complain about it on another thread, expect in a very general way such as "I'm not coping with argy bargy very well today". That, to me, is as 'pointy' as it should ever get.

We all make mistakes sometimes though.

Riverwalk Fri 16-Jun-17 10:08:53

You're fighting a losing battle Rigby.

<pokes head over political threads parapet to assess whether or not it's safe to tie up the last of the (apolitical) bunting>...

The above was written by Lara on the Invitation thread yesterday, and I complained.

aggie Fri 16-Jun-17 09:55:05

Sigh ........

Anniebach Fri 16-Jun-17 09:51:50

So sad that anyone has To seek a safe haven

Rigby46 Fri 16-Jun-17 09:50:35

Lara - sorry but you haven't asked the question. Some posters think that as long as names aren't mentioned, they can slag off groups of posters on the political threads? Are you saying they can or they can't and that as long as individuals aren't named, it's OK - hie is that being non judgemental?

Rigby46 Fri 16-Jun-17 09:48:32

Jane have you missed the point? I fully understand the need for SK - I don't understand why it's ok for some posters to go on their and slag off the political threads and pass judgement on those that post on them. That's what I'm asking HQ about.

LaraGransnet (GNHQ) Fri 16-Jun-17 09:47:12

Hello! I think Mawbroon summed it up perfectly (for Soop's as well as the Cafe as a whole). No argy bargy. Just a quiet space for when you're not up to a more vigorous thread. It's not meant to be a gossip corner either. As always, if you're concerned about any particular post or thread, please report it to us to take a look.

Jane10 Fri 16-Jun-17 09:44:13

GN threads can rapidly turn into nasty arguments. A quick look at SK leads me to think that those on it are looking for a place to offload. Maybe those upset by unpleasant posts need a place where they will find friendlier responses from kindred spirits. 'Rules' won't prevent this basic human urge. Most posters on GN are nice kind people not looking for arguments. Some people deliberately avoid the political threads. Maybe some people should avoid the less confrontational threads?

MawBroon Fri 16-Jun-17 09:42:39

Thread about a thread.
No further comment.

MawBroon Fri 16-Jun-17 09:41:38

I don't think there is a thread for slagging off other posters rigby
That is certainly not the case in Soop's Kitchen.
However if you feel we need one, you could start one. hmm