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Estrangement survey

(17 Posts)
Fennel Fri 10-May-19 17:49:20

I was sad to see this report on Mumsnet today
The survey was held in Jan/Feb but I don't remember filling in a reply

Fennel Fri 10-May-19 17:53:07

My first link didn't seem to work. Here's another:

SarahGransnet (GNHQ) Wed 15-May-19 17:01:57

Hi Fennel, the survey was online for some time in the usual Product Tests and Surveys forum. Sorry you missed it. smile

Joyfulnanna Wed 15-May-19 19:49:39

15% have taken the legal route to have contact with their grandchild but no one on here has ever discussed what happened. That's why I came on here in the first place

Fennel Wed 15-May-19 20:43:07

Thanks for the reply, Sarah.
Maybe it's my poor memory, but I don't remember completing the survey.
I certainly wouldn't have reported estrangement, TG.
I just felt that this wasn't a realistic figure. Maybe not everyone with a positive reply completed the survey.

Elegran Wed 15-May-19 21:33:57

I don't remember completing it either. I don't pay much attention to that Product Tests and Surveys Forum, and in any case a survey labelled "Estrangement" is far more likely to be filled in by people who are estranged than people who are not! .

Should that figure - "14% of gransnetters have no contact with their grandchildren" ) really be "14% of the Gransnetters who completed this survey have no contact with their grandchildren" ?

Elegran Wed 15-May-19 21:46:58

14% is about one in seven. I don't think that proportion of the many grandparents of my acquaintance are estranged from their grandchildren.

It could be that the people I know are unusual in that, or that they just don't mention it, but I think it far more likely that the survey caught more attention from those gransnetters whose families are disrupted by estrangement than from those who are happy together.

Elegran Wed 15-May-19 21:49:59

If you saw a survey about 4 x 4 cars, but didn't own one, would you fill in just the first question (Do you own a 4 x 4 ? - No) or just do nothing?

MawBroonsback Wed 15-May-19 22:25:50

Exactly Elegran, Fennel and others. I certainly didn’t complete it for (to me) obvious reasons.
“There are lies, damn lies and statistics”

Elegran Thu 16-May-19 08:33:13

And this is the reason I give no credence at all to the hundreds of "surveys" that appear in social media, resulting in all kinds of astounding statistics. Many of them are filled in by people who were attracted to them because their eye was caught by a minority subject which happens to apply to them, while the majority of readers skip past because the questions will not be relevant to their experience and they really CBA to waste time saying so.

There is also the fact that estranged grandparents are full of anger and pain, and ready to express that, while non-estranged grandparents are just getting on with being happy.

The result is a statistic which is headlined as "X% of our readers do this or that" instead of the more accurate "X% of those who responded to the voluntary survey do this or that."

PS - For those who don't like acronyms/abbreviations, CBA is short for Can't Be Arsed.

MawBroonsback Thu 16-May-19 08:42:24

I hope GNHQ have taken note and bear this in mind when other spurious “surveys” hit the headlines.

Fennel Thu 16-May-19 09:12:29

I'm glad others think the same as me.
It's upsetting, because we've seen in the past how Mumsnet and Gransnet are sometimes quoted in the tabloids.
That's how rumours start and can cause trouble.

SparklyGrandma Thu 16-May-19 09:16:10

Most of us estranged grandparents don’t talk about it with others, but it’s good to find out on GN that there are so many others who live with estrangement. The BBC Woman’s Hour reckon there are a million estranged grandparents in the U.K.

Bibbity Thu 16-May-19 09:35:05

The other ridiculous aspect of it is the ‘reasons’ for the estrangement. They have presented the results as qualitative facts. When in reality they’re hearsay.

X amount say the reason they are estranged is due to their child’s partner. Is it though? Really?

Elegran Thu 16-May-19 10:06:38

Information Now, an information site for people in Tyneside, estimates that there are about 14 million grandparents in the UK. They also say that "It is estimated that over one million children are denied contact with their grandparents, often due to divorce or similar breakdown of family relationships."

Now, a proportion of one to 14 is NOT the same as 14%. It is more like 7%. That is a large variation - double the numbers - between two accounts. Bear in mind too that quite a lot of those 14m grandparents are married couples, and also that quite a lot of the 1m children are in sets of brothers/sisters. Both of these facts change the percentage, possibly to 5% - I don't know accurate figures for either the number of widowed/married grandparents or of average children in each estranged family, so that is a guess.

Elegran Thu 16-May-19 10:11:53

To clarify what I wrote in the previous post, which could be misleading. 14 million grandparents to 1 million grandchildren only means one in 14 estranged grandparents IF each estranged child has only one grandparent and IF each estranged grandparent has only one grandchild.

Fennel Thu 16-May-19 12:39:58

Well explained Elegran. I agree that this type of survey tends to attract those with problems/ axe to grind, rather than those of us who are fairly content with the status quo.
I can understand 'estrangement' after a divorce.
But to me, the implication of the MN/GN report is that we're all getting bitchier, taking offence too quickly.
I wonder if the BBC could be persuaded to present a more realistic view?