Are you having a New Year break, GNHQ?

Retiredwell coming back with a different user name and not informing others of your previous incarnation is not in the true spirit of GN surely?

Crossed posts, Lucca!

Retiredwell you suggest that anyone wishing to communicate privately with another poster should exchange personal email addresses. I assume you mean that they should post that on the forum for all the world to see? Without the facility to send private emails, that is the only way that they can move from online virtual acquaintances to real-life flesh-and-blood friends. What price privacy and security then, with your personal contact details published to the whole world?

I don’t understand Retiredwell. How do people communicate via personal email unless they’ve done a PM?

I think the clique thing is nonsense, and even cliques existed, who cares frankly?

janeainsworth

<places tongue in cheek>
You are a relative newcomer to the forum aren’t you, retiredwell?
It really doesn’t behove a newcomer to start pontificating about the use of private messages, IMHO.

I am one who like so many on this forum change their name and return. I am a long term forum member. ?

PMs are a way to communicate with posters and build up a relationship , when both parties feel secure that is when email addresses can be exchanged.

<places tongue in cheek>
You are a relative newcomer to the forum aren’t you, retiredwell?
It really doesn’t behove a newcomer to start pontificating about the use of private messages, IMHO.

Retiredwell we are grown women and we don’t need you to tell us how to communicate with each other and how to make friends, thank you.
Just put your wooden spoon away and stop trying to cause disruption.

Retiredwell, it was this part of your post, which triggered my response.

Should someone wish to say something to another forum user then that can be stated in an open thread where all can see what is said?

We are not going to agree, so best to just let it go. Both points of view are equally valid.

I have more pressing matters to deal with.
A flat car battery needs my full attention. I wish you a pleasant day!

Marydoll, should anyone wish to form a true friendship with another person then surely they would not wish to remain anonymous to each other in terms of real names. In that, I fail to see how any genuine close relationship can be formed when that information is withheld.

If emails are thought to be too impersonal, then a closed WhatsApp group where real names are exchanged on joining are an excellent choice and used by many millions in forming good relationships or discussing subjects not of interest to others.

As I have said PMs on a forum such as this can be used as a good communication tool, but also can be used as a communication against other forum members.

I gave ONE instance, but would never suggest the facilty be removed. The nasty ones are greatly outnumbered by supportive ones. They are a source of support to many on here, myself included.

Some posters wish to share info by PM, rather than email. Email removes any anonymity.

Heresay of cliques is totally different from actual evidence. Being a naturally nosy person, I would love to know more about the cliques.

I started this thread to highlight the lack of moderation, no other agenda.

Marydoll

I too love a good conspiracy theory.

Anyone planning on ganging up to get a poster banned would be daft to use PMs.
I suspect any clique, who ever they may be, would probably have alternative ways of contacting each other.

As for posting what you want to say on the forum, rather than in a PM, are you suggesting, Retiredwell, that I post the details of my embarrassing medical problem on a public forum, rather than aPM that information to a friend? ?

Could you provide some evidence to back up your claim that GN has cliques doing as you suggest.?

I know only of a couple of posters, who have been banned and they were hoisted by their own petard.

Anyone wishing to form a true friendship with someone on a forum or anywhere on social media can do so by merely exchanging email addresses with another person. In that way, personal information can be given with no others but those contained in the emails having access to the information.

As for groups and cliques being formed on this forum that has been discussed many times in the past.

Also Marydoll, you have yourself given an instance in this thread how PM messaging can be abused

Time to end the facility.

If GN can't afford moderators to be on duty 24/7 couldn't they just program the site so that a post that is reported is automatically removed pending moderation. At least no one else would be able to read the offensive content until the moderators are back and can look into it.

I too love a good conspiracy theory.

Anyone planning on ganging up to get a poster banned would be daft to use PMs.
I suspect any clique, who ever they may be, would probably have alternative ways of contacting each other.

As for posting what you want to say on the forum, rather than in a PM, are you suggesting, Retiredwell, that I post the details of my embarrassing medical problem on a public forum, rather than aPM that information to a friend? ?

Could you provide some evidence to back up your claim that GN has cliques doing as you suggest.?

I know only of a couple of posters, who have been banned and they were hoisted by their own petard.

BlueBelle

I disagree again retiredwell I have made a few very good friends on Gransnet which simply started with a pm and they wouldn’t be in my life otherwise

No doubt PMs can be used for very good purposes, but equally, they can be used for other purposes as has been discussed on this forum many times before and has even been pointed out in this thread.

I disagree again retiredwell I have made a few very good friends on Gransnet which simply started with a pm and they wouldn’t be in my life otherwise

Or perhaps I have touched a nerve?????

Retiredwell. I believe that the facility for personal messaging should be withdrawn from the forum. It allows users to form groups and cliques which can be used to target others in getting posts deleted or even used as a weapon to get members banned

I doubt very much that that is the primary way in which private messages are used.
I think most are used to say something to a poster that wouldn’t be relevant in the thread, or to share a confidence that a poster wouldn’t want to put on an open forum.
Or simply to facilitate a meet-up & clarify details.

But you just carry on thinking the worst of gransnetters and good luck with your conspiracy theories.

I believe that the facility for personal messaging should be withdrawn from the forum. It allows users to form groups and cliques which can be used to target others in getting posts deleted or even used as a weapon to get members banned.

Should someone wish to say something to another forum user then that can be stated in an open thread where all can see what is said?

What if the person who sent the PM has mental health issues? Would it make those issues worse if posters piled in and villified them?

I posted a public reply on GN, the poster knew exactly how I felt and how much she got wrong. She knows exactly who she is.
It's in the past now, I was using it as an illustration for those who dismissed my concerns about the absence of moderators. I really don't want to revisit it.

I agree with Merlotgran on this last point. The only way to stop nastiness by pm is by fear of consequences.

That would be misconstrued as bullying by some. You can't really win. Best thing is to report them and then block them.

Sorry, Marydoll but I wouldn't hesitate. If nasty posters think they can get their kicks by upsetting vulnerable posters knowing full well it will all be kept under wraps they should be made to think again.

I do know that Baggs, thanks. It's quite an emotive subject for me, especially as I was and still am involved in Safeguarding.

I will retreat now!

..which is why I was puzzled.
I seem to have lost the plot!

I absolutely agree with your post, mdoll. One nasty PM is too many. My comment about not opening further PMs from someone who sent an abusive one was suggested as an interim strategy while, it appears, GN moderators are not around.