Non Grandmothers on GN - Attitudes about Motherhood and Grandmotherhood

“ Ideally as long as this is Gransnet people really ought not to be treading in here when they can never fully understand our experience as a group of senior women (senior not by age as such but senior in our progression through the various roles we play and have played).”

No, just no.

If we are going to rename it how about Greynet.

I assumed she was talking about herself but I may have got the wrong end of the stick.

Who was that directed at Thistlelass?
If you’re going to have a go at someone, as in, Ah well. There's always one, it’s less confusing if we all know who you’re talking to.

I think this site is for anyone that wants to join however I think responses would be different if a man without children or grandchildren were to post, he would be accused of using it as a dating site as was said of a male poster a few months ago.

Ah well. There's always one. I joined these forums because I am the real deal. I wanted to converse with others who had the credentials. Those who were also walking my walk. I find this forum infiltrated by mum and daughters, daughter-in-law all having a good old natter. Now excuse me but I did not venture on here to be lectured by, for example, a DIL banging her drum about all the presents she has bought and had rubbished by her in-laws. So her hubby should have attended to that etc Well, that was not my experience you see. I bought all presents for my MIL and FIL. I did not always do it with good humour and good grace - but I have to say they always accepted the offerings quite graciously. They have been dead for a while now. FIL at just 65 years. I can see all the mistakes I made with them and wish I had done better. I ask them out loud to please forgive me and I tell them I am sorry. There are no shortcuts to this level of insight and experience. So no. Ideally as long as this is Gransnet people really ought not to be treading in here when they can never fully understand our experience as a group of senior women (senior not by age as such but senior in our progression through the various roles we play and have played).

Missfoodlove

Are men or younger forum members moaning about the menopause/HRT questionnaire?

No.

I just swerve anything not of interest or not applicable.

M0nica

Why don't we think of alternative names. Here is a couple of dull ones to start with. We need to remember that it needs to form an obvious pair with Mumsnet

Seniornet

Eldernet

Grumpsnet

If you were a Housing Officer, it wouldn't necessarily mean you had housing problems yourself or had ever had them
I agree Tangerine. I dislike this whole thing of if you haven’t had the same life experiences as another person you can’t possibly understand the problem or empathise with them.

Puzzler61 commented that she wouldn't advise any grandmother about being a grandmother as she had no experience.

Perhaps I am odd but does that always matter? Sometimes an impartial person can see to the root of a problem.

If you were a Housing Officer, it wouldn't necessarily mean you had housing problems yourself or had ever had them. I do acknowledge that this isn't a very good example but it was all I could think of.

Why does it need to for, an obvious pair with Mumsnet ? Sorry if I should know

I don't think it matters if people are not actually grandparents. Perhaps it's time for a change of name. Gransnet does sound a little old fashioned.

Why don't we think of alternative names. Here is a couple of dull ones to start with. We need to remember that it needs to form an obvious pair with Mumsnet

Seniornet

Eldernet

Fannycornforth I think some more than others just like conformance and labels.

Are men or younger forum members moaning about the menopause/HRT questionnaire?

Out of interest does Mumsnet have many men on it? I know I could go and look but it can be difficult to work out.

Fanny I’ve looked at that survey thread & I see what you mean.
I’ve never seen the two posters who made negative comments on Gransnet before & if I’d felt aggrieved by their comments for some reason, I’d just have ignored them or perhaps made a barbed retort, if I could be bothered. I’ve no idea what their mindset might be & really it’s not worth getting upset about.

Peasblossom I lost friends when they became Grans because it changes people. Grandchildren occupy their thoughts as well as their time. It was obvious they were having to make a real effort to be interested to in anything else
That’s not been my experience at all. Even when I’m with friends who also have grandchildren, we usually have more interesting things to talk about!

lemsip I am not offended.

It doesn't often happen.

However it does happen.

I am interested in why women think like this about women who don't have kids.

Scroll on by indeed!

I don't really understand why you would need to be a gran on this site. If you look at the topics discussed many don't involve
children and grandchildren so anyone can contribute.

well, I've just read the 'survey thread as was mentioned and I would have scrolled on by, Mountain out of molehill and now a thread about it.

Fanny, I think some women are a bit smug, they’re the ones whose children/grandchildren never put a foot wrong, and are destined for greatness.
Personally, I think it’s very dangerous to become too smug, you never know what’s around the next corner!

Ive just had a look at the questionnaire. I see what you mean.

It must be the name Gransnet that makes them think only Grans allowed.

It is a bit of an exclusive club, isn’t it. Not in numbers, but if you don’t belong, you don’t belong. I lost friends when they became Grans because it changes people. Grandchildren occupy their thoughts as well as their time. It was obvious they were having to make a real effort to be interested to in anything else.

Gransnet is much broader than that, but I’m thinking that when lockdown is over and people are spending more time with their grandchildren the subjects of the posts might change quite a bit to being mostly about grandchildren.

I have seen some posts in different threads now and again asking why men or people with no children/grandchildren are on this site, although I don't remember any being particularly 'off'.

I think it's possibly because they themselves are newish and think it's a site just for grans, so don't expect to see 'non-grans'. I think I remember even seeing a thread about not wanting men on the site.

Thank you "Sara*, I'd just love to know what is behind such people's thinking.
What they think about childless/child-free women.

Well Fanny, I should just ignore it, people like that aren’t worth bothering about.