Not in the spirit of Gransnet

I remember when I 1st joined mumsnet ( 15 years ago ) there were about 20 posters who were known as ‘mumsnet royalty’ - you were seriously scared to talk to them let alone disagree. .
It’s not like that now as it’s so much bigger, but back then you noticed if a regular hadn’t posted for a couple of days. It was very cliquey.

Chrissyoh

Hi *LadyGaGa
I don’t post much either - but read some threads most days.
So just saying Hello ! X*

Hello Chrissyoh, and welcome.

I hope you'll join in on lots of threads

I’ve called Bbbevan a minx before now
I hope that I haven’t broken any rule

Well at least this thread hasn't been deleted (so far).

I agree with those who say it's a problem on every forum. There are always those who think they're being robust or funny when they're actually being rude and hurtful. And of course there's always a small minority who just post to cause trouble and be abrasive.

Ideally they should be called out at the time. But sometimes that can just make things worse. Which is why many posters just quietly leave the thread rather than getting into argy bargy, or having more insults slung at them.

That's why I think a thread such as the one removed yesterday is useful. It can be a salutary reminder that posters are not just names on a screen but people with feelings and sensitivities, who are entitled to express views without feeling belittled, or ganged up on, or that they've become the butt of a joke.

Debate is good and interesting, but aggressive arguing can get out of hand and drive people off the site.

That's my view anyhow.

The thing about pulling people up on unpleasant things they’ve said about others, Doodledog, is that you’re then accused of being mean to them. And yes, of being part of the clique. You can’t win really.

Maggiemaybe

I quite like the word minx. Apparently it has sexual connotations and is disapproved of now (according to Mumsnet law). Though I think Minnie’s still in the Beano.

My Sis-IL used to call my DD Minnie the Minx because she was so mischievous.
What a shame its meaning has changed (like so many words).

Grandmashe43

LadyGaGa, maybe it’s time for the silent majority to take a stance.
I’ve often felt like posting but thought is it worth it.

I wish more people would join in.

I find it exasperating when people complain that it is the same few voices on threads, but also say that they don't want to 'risk' joining in. The risk is the same for all of us, and only amounts to the risk that someone will disagree with our views and say so.

I also wish there was a bit more group moderation, so that if someone said something unpleasant (ie not just disagreeing) they were pulled on it by other posters rather than waiting for mods to be informed. It does happen, but maybe not often enough. I appreciate that that could lead to accusations of cliquiness though. Other people don't half make life difficult, don't they? ?

There used to be a specific thread for newcomers, where they’d be sure to be welcomed and get advice about the site. Does it not exist now? I’m off to search for it.

Caslon, well if I mentioned the posts it would be deleted, sorry.
I will make my voice heard,kindly.

And its hello from me, too.

I quite like the word minx. Apparently it has sexual connotations and is disapproved of now (according to Mumsnet law). Though I think Minnie’s still in the Beano.

Hi *LadyGaGa
I don’t post much either - but read some threads most days.
So just saying Hello ! X*

I rather like the word trollop. It's rather quaint. One rarely hears it. So if anyone wants to use the word aim it at me and I shall smile and say thanks.

*Go for it Granmashe43, you have the power to change it, or at least make your voice heard. I’d still love to know which threads you feel the issues are happening on?

Never take the slightest bit of notice of others telling you what you may or may not post, is my advice.
It changes from week to week anyway.
I report what I see as bullying, and presume gnhq will deal with it or not, as they see fit.

And I have seen bullying behaviour on here, not merely differences of opinion.

Gransnet is for everyone, not just the "longstanding and well respected" members.

I think that it might be the guiding principle for HQ, though Maizie

FannyCornforth

To call someone a trollop is a personal and judgemental slur on a person.
The use of the word f* was to show strength of feeling.

That's just your opinion, though, Fanny. It doesn't make it a guiding principle for posters. It would be different if the T & C explicitly said that posters mustn't say rude things about people in the public eye (that'd put paid to a lot of N & P threads wouldn't it?)

LadyGaGa, maybe it’s time for the silent majority to take a stance.
I’ve often felt like posting but thought is it worth it.

There aren't any rules about language usage, Nicegranny.

But so much of how people perceive other posters' behaviour is very much dependent on their own ideas of what is right or wrong, what constitutes bullying, harassment, etc. Which makes it difficult to make judgments. And probably hard for the moderators.

I think in most cases it's just as well to ignore what you don't like and put it down to diversity. Mind you, some people can't even handle that. I recall at least one new poster who promptly flounced off the N & P board because she didn't expect people to disagree with her

'Allo, pisters!
I was just pissing by ze door and notice zis thread is still alive.

Quick, all you guilty pisters, upstairs and hide behind ze folding bed in ze wall .......

I also joined an Archers forum and it was just the same! I agree it’s the nature of these things.

It’s a full time job keeping on top of everything here, and even I can’t manage it!

I do agree. I have posted occasionally on some well used threads and introduced myself as a newbie. None of the regulars ever say hello or welcome me. It’s just the less regular ones who do. And yes, I also feel that my carefully worded posts are ignored. Once I was jumped upon for no particular reason, so as quite a shy person, who cares what people think of me, I stopped posting. I still read, and sometimes have things to contribute, but stop myself. It’s a shame.

I must go around with blindfolds on then. No idea what is going on half the time, clearly

are you, me?

To call someone a trollop is a personal and judgemental slur on a person.
The use of the word f* was to show strength of feeling.