Not in the spirit of Gransnet

Nicegranny

I’m not sure how to spell the modern version but I like the word in this sentence and I think you will get my meaning,
“She’s a bit of a ho”. It’s meaning , whore.

??

Is this on the right thread?

Beswitched
I wasn't being unkind when I laughed at your typo pisters
I'm always making typos or being miscorrected by autocorrect.

bossy pisters
I loved it ?

Grandmashe43

Doodle dog, that’s the point, it’s the way it’s disagreed with, not everybody can argue their point but do want their opinions to be heard,without feeling foolish or hurt.

Yes, I understand that Grandmashe, and I do feel that we should all be more alert to obvious nastiness and support one another when it occurs.

The trouble is that some people take any disagreement with their views as making them look foolish, and accuse the disagree-ers of bullying. I think that if someone just wants to post an opinion without backing it up they can expect to be called on it, just as in 'real life'. I don't mean a fully cited and referenced essay, but 'I think the government is rubbish/marvellous/whatever - just my opinion' is not really making a contribution to a thread, but 'I think they are rubbish/marvellous/whatever because . . .' is different.

I can understand someone replying to the first example by asking for some sort of reasoning, but have seen people take exception to being asked, and claiming to have been 'pounced on'. Others post similar, then complain of being ignored on the thread when there is nothing to say to their post, really.

There are 'chat threads' for those who don't want to be asked about their opinions, though - nobody should feel unable to post.

I certainly enjoy a robust exchange of opinion & many posters/ threads are very informative. I also do not particularly subscribe to the always "be kind" mantra. However i do feel at certain times there is a degree of unpleasant behaviour where posts become rude & personal & i can understand people being wary of posting,
Obviously those who have been members from the outset will know each other well, however if new members are not made to feel welcome the site will simply stagnate.

I go for the two pronged approach.
Say something there and then, and tell them I am about to report.

There again, people see that as malicious reporting, so there is no winning.

I’ve mentioned the disappearing threads to HQ loads of times, and they deny that it is happening; or that I don’t know how the system works; or that I don’t know what I’m talking about

Beswitched

Yes Jane judge and thank you for remembering . You were very kind at that time but I can still remember some of the thoughtless posts I received. It was terribly upsetting. Fair enough if people disagreed with my view but when someone is obviously going through a bad time surely posters could disagree with a bit of compassion.

I was upset for you. It was just really unnecessary xx

Yammy

"Cabal "an inner group of posters who think they rule and can set rules because they have been on Gransnet longer than others. They always back each other whether it be kind or hurtful. Things are often pointed out and could be distressing if you are on the receiving end and only recently joined.
They are wanting me to put Transnet again.
Surely new people should be welcomed and their ideas listened to, it is meant to be a forum for all. If people start stopping posting there will be no more Gransnet just the inner cabal .

Yammy, not all of us who have been on GN since the beginning are part of your "Cabal"! Some of us are actually quite nice...

Sometimes, I feel it is better not to report and to let posts stand.
That way, readers can actually see how awful some are.

FannyCornforth

I’ve just bumped the thread Maggie, but it seems that it might be one of those mysterious threads that don’t appear on the Active List

I know, what is all that about?

I wish there was a threads I started button so I could update on my greenhouse and wildlife stories.

I have had a serious rat invasion this year which I don't think were anything to do with my busy mice. They dug up through my outbuilding floor and as poisoning was in action I quite literally found them dead in a pile of rubble by the pipes in the barn (they had come through from next door, I am positive as they are bird feeding chicken keepers with thick ivy all over their house) Anyway my husband saw the pile of toothbrushes and rats and hot footed it out of the outbuilding and said he had to go, so muggins here was left to clean it up. I STILL HAVEN'T GOT OVER IT. I do wonder now whether it was the rats that got into the roof and frightened out all of the sparrows. As I can't find the threads, I have randomly just posted about it here.

MissAdventure

I find things like that beyond contempt, I'm afraid.
There is absolutely no need for it, and I have no problem whatsoever reporting it.

I agree, some people could do with reading a thread properly, or just holding back a bit before posting. I prefer to tackle the unpleasant poster directly on GN, in case they are misinformed and have inadvertently offended, benefit of the doubt etc., but sadly, this can be misinterpreted as 'ganging up' or being part of a clique. I prefer not to report to GNHQ as we are all adults and shouldn't be running to teacher to tell tales. Sometimes, however, it is the only solution ie when slander is repeated.

Beswitched, your comment really resonated with me.

That's why I think a thread such as the one removed yesterday is useful. It can be a salutary reminder that posters are not just names on a screen but people with feelings and sensitivities, who are entitled to express views without feeling belittled, or ganged up on, or that they've become the butt of a joke.

I’m not sure how to spell the modern version but I like the word in this sentence and I think you will get my meaning,
“She’s a bit of a ho”. It’s meaning , whore.

Yes Jane judge and thank you for remembering . You were very kind at that time but I can still remember some of the thoughtless posts I received. It was terribly upsetting. Fair enough if people disagreed with my view but when someone is obviously going through a bad time surely posters could disagree with a bit of compassion.

Thanks, Fanny.

I’ve just bumped the thread Maggie, but it seems that it might be one of those mysterious threads that don’t appear on the Active List

MissAdventure

Never take the slightest bit of notice of others telling you what you may or may not post, is my advice.
It changes from week to week anyway.
I report what I see as bullying, and presume gnhq will deal with it or not, as they see fit.

And I have seen bullying behaviour on here, not merely differences of opinion.

Gransnet is for everyone, not just the "longstanding and well respected" members.

Good post.

I find things like that beyond contempt, I'm afraid.
There is absolutely no need for it, and I have no problem whatsoever reporting it.

I think that's why bigger is better Jane because people dont notice the username so much.

Right, I’m linking to another thread now, for the best of reasons though.

This is the thread that new members used to be directed to. It was quite nice that they would always get a welcome and could ask any questions about the site. It might be useful to some recent joiners if it was resurrected?

www.gransnet.com/forums/gransnet_cafe/1252353-New-to-Gransnet?pg=16

Good heavens
How awful

I remember when I first started posting, I think it was in one of the lockdowns and I upset someone unintentionally because I'd said something she thought was awful about <insert famous person of choice> and she followed me for weeks from thread to thread about it. At the time I was looking caring for my adult dd who requires 24/7 care and was just upset/frightened/exhausted and did think it was a bit OTT to take what I'd said so personally. Surely our members are more important than <insert famous person of choice>

I have let it go but surely we all should be mindful about other posters circumstances especially if they post something personal and upsetting. Beswitched, I don't know if I have got mixed up - so I apologise if I have but wasn't it you who posted about a problem with the hospital and your dying Mother and people just continually had a go at you? Things like that I find exasperating

Yeah that was MN before my time, I think a big site is really helpful as it dilutes it all.

Doodle dog, that’s the point, it’s the way it’s disagreed with, not everybody can argue their point but do want their opinions to be heard,without feeling foolish or hurt.

Nicegranny

rafichagran

It's true, these threads do not end well, but I have seen posters driven off this site due to some of the nasty personnel things said to them.
I also had people gang up on me once, rudeness, bullying, and one poster even made a shocking assumption. I just thought Fuck em, but some posters get upset by it. Before people ask I cannot quote the thread.
I also notice if some posters do not like a thread they try to derail it, why not just ignore it.
Yes as a poster said upthread, it is playground noncence, but playground noncence happens in the work place, it happens in clubs, it happens in all sorts of situations and carried out by adults. Let's not underestimate the effect it has on others.

rachifagran

How come you can actually say “Fuck” in your post when l was bullied and mocked by the bullying nasty women on here for saying “Camilla is an old trollop”.
I mean they were really mean and nasty.
Not the sort of people I would associate with.
But fuck that’s far worse than trollop.

I raise 'Scum' to your Fuck if we are playing swearing Top Trumps. Just thinking about Angela Rayner saying it makes some posters faint it would appear. I was piled on a few weeks back, and it is deeply unpleasant, especially when I was misquoted, words twisted to infer racism which was not there. However, I survived, but it was close. I almost called them scum.