Do you remember wayback when.........

Doodledog

Galaxy

So this might be offensive. The people I want to 'judge' speech on here are the moderators, thats because I trust (to the extent that you can) the company and its values. I dont have that faith in random people on the internet because I dont know them.

Absolutely. And nine times out of ten the people who want to control (from within) what others can say are the very people who should not be allowed to do it .

I totally agree with both of you and the problem with some people is they don't seem to recognise when their post is offensive/nasty so will put up a great fight against any intervention from other posters.

The majority of posters on gransnet are neither over sensitive or rude and spiteful.
There is a very small number in either camp. But both groups can really drag down a thread.
On Mumsnet there are so many posters who seem to constantly scour threads for reasons to take offence that it seems almost impossible any more to start a tongue in cheek light hearted discussion about anything. It has removed a lot of fun and wit from the forum.
All of us can unintentionally annoy or upset someone. That's life. But that's different from the perennial offenders, getting ban after ban but failing to change their behaviour. There are one or two names that I dread to see coming up on a thread because I know they rarely say anything nice.
Most people I can disagree with on one thread and agree with on another quite happily. It's not really that you disagree with someone that's the problem. It's how you do it.

I am probably alone in having a bit of faith in MN . I dont fir example post much on Twitter because I dont trust the company. Although that's now sounding paranoid

Galaxy

So this might be offensive. The people I want to 'judge' speech on here are the moderators, thats because I trust (to the extent that you can) the company and its values. I dont have that faith in random people on the internet because I dont know them.

Absolutely. And nine times out of ten the people who want to control (from within) what others can say are the very people who should not be allowed to do it .

It's about two years for me. I have made good friends, and I have argued with some.
I feel a forum is needed to air views,if they are unpleasant or you do not agree or think they are boasting or a" Queen bee", then you either reply or move on.
Life at the moment for most people is uncertain and not upbeat this is reflected in the posts. That is not wrong and can often be helped by other people's points of view. Or just a kind wish.
Gransnet to me is a friend I wished lived down the street.

Yep.
That I agree with.
Gnhq make the decisions. Thankfully!

We'll have to agree to disagree (nicely!!)

I'm sure people don't go out for the day and accidentally offend people left right and centre.

So this might be offensive. The people I want to 'judge' speech on here are the moderators, thats because I trust (to the extent that you can) the company and its values. I dont have that faith in random people on the internet because I dont know them.

No of course not. There are some clear example of rudeness/unkindness but in general it's not usually that easy.

A cow took a fence, I took offence, well it was really a hedge. Who knew cows like red robin.
She pulled so hard at it it nearly was uprooted, I kid you not.

Yes, but not by sending them private messages about them being on benefits, surely?

Oh I disagree Missadventure (but nicely!) Many of the adults who have made the world a better place gave offense to many people.

kittylester

Fleurpepper

Why on earth would anyone a) find fault with it b) need to be told it is light hearted? Really.

Just fish it out, and enjoy it- job done.

That wasn't 'kind' Fleurpepper, and really proves my point.

I am so sorry, it was supposed to be just a simple answer and certainly not intended to be 'unkind'. If you had written about the fly in your wine, it would surely have been very obvious it was lighthearted, to all. I was smiling when I wrote this- in jest. So it seems that I should have written on my post that it was lighthearted!

So sometimes it is not the post which is the problem, but how it is interpreted. So we need to put 'lighthearted' on replies as well as posts.

I like to think I've somewhat mastered the art of not being offensive, and apologising if I am. unless I meant to be

It's a prerequisite for being an adult.

kittylester

The point about the fly was that it was still alive next morning. Hiccuping slightly.

Have you not noticed Fleurpepper that people have taken to noting that their posts are lighthearted.

Good for Miss Fly, lol.

Yes, I have. But there is no need really- it is usually quite obvious.

My typo is offending me for example

You cant think or speak on anything complex of you are constantly thinking of the offense you may cause. All sorts of things offend me. Being offended is not always a bad thing.

Sara1954

Vintagejazz
Yes I agree, some are just downright spiteful, and nobody wants to see that
But it will be tricky to contribute to a thread, if you have to consider everything you say, because someone might find some offence

That's the thing, Sara. People differ in what they find offensive, and when there is doubt some will look for the positive interpretation while others will always find a negative. Some things touch a nerve that the poster doesn't know will do so, so a post might seem to be needling when it wasn't meant to be at all.

Vintagejazz
Yes I agree, some are just downright spiteful, and nobody wants to see that
But it will be tricky to contribute to a thread, if you have to consider everything you say, because someone might find some offence

Doodledog

No, nor can I. It was an observation, but the difference of opinion is what I am getting at, really. One person's 'unkind' is someone else's 'observation', and nobody is being untruthful.

The fly couldn't be questioned until it had sobered up

Sometimes a post can be taken either way, but some posts are very obviously intended as a rude put down.

I found the 'really' very dismissive of my post.

No, nor can I. It was an observation, but the difference of opinion is what I am getting at, really. One person's 'unkind' is someone else's 'observation', and nobody is being untruthful.

The fly couldn't be questioned until it had sobered up

Kitty
For the life of me I can’t see anything unkind in Fluerpeppers post.

Yes, I wonder what the fly would have said, had he (or she) been questioned?

That sounds rather threatening

The thing is that there is no absolute truth or absolute kindness - is telling someone that they are behaving badly kind, or is it bossy or controlling, or any of lots of other possibilities? ‘I’m doing this for your own good’ is often morally dubious and not always truthful. Just saying that something is being done out of kindness doesn’t make it so.

Also, people can believe that they are telling the truth, but as we all know, there can be many versions of the same incident, none of which are lies, just different interpretations. A belief that one is the only person who knows the truth is probably a sign of madness ?.

I’m feeling very philosophical for this time in the morning!