Let's talk dating apps with Lumen

As I'm happily married I haven't had the need to use one. Off the top I would say I would be unlikely to do so as I have the feeling( probably entirely unjustified) that people's profiles might not reflect their actual circumstances.

I don't have a smart phone, but even if I did I would not want to sign on to a dating app. Reason being that people can pretend to be anything. I think where potential partners are concerned I would prefer to meet them through friends and face to face. Dating apps can't convey that connection between people I feel.

I haven't ever tried dating sites of any description, but I have heard from friends and relatives who have been very happy with them. One friend met her current companion on a site and they have been together in their later years for over 12 months. The good thing about their meeting up is that they now have a companion to share their lives and to go travelling with, even though they have their own separate lives and homes at each end of the country. Their meeting up happened after she was widowed and he was divorced. At the other end of the scale two younger people I know found their spouses through internet dating. I see nothing wrong with meeting someone this way as long as you remain in control of your life and are not forced into doing anything you don't want to. I do think you have to be "ready" to put yourself out there with a positive hope of meeting someone you will be happy with, regardless of whether it leads to a permanent relationship.

I am not interested as I don’t need it. I am glad for whoever wants to be going that road. You must be smart, outspoken and quick witted. Be safe.

After my 2nd divorce at 54, I did venture into the world of internet dating for a while. Rather naively, with hindsight. I had assumed that OP's intentions would be as stated on their profiles. However, whilst I met some pleasant enough men from time to time, I had no inclination to continue the relationships beyond a first lunch or coffee when it was obvious to us both that whilst we had both enoyed our meeting, there was no 'spark' however well our prior emails and phone conversations had gone. There is no substitute for meeting someone face to face to see whether the 'virtual' relationship holds water. So often, it doesn't. Also I was at pains to be as honest as possible in my online profile, including up to date photos ...and was shocked and dismayed to find that many men had added 3 or 4 inches to their height and 'dropped' at least five years from their age. I simply couldn't understand why - after all, if you are going to meet someone, the truth will out! I found that particular deception really difficult to deal with. After all, you can't really ask, ahead of meeting - have you lied about your age and your physical appearance...it's a difficult one. Some men who professed to be looking for a life partner were quite clearly looking for something MUCH less lasting...again cleverly dressed up as being a genuine person looking for a 'new start with someone special'. All that said, I did meet two lovely men, (several years apart) with whom I felt relaxed, happy and optimistic about the future. However when the crunch came, both were still very much in love with their most recent ex partner and I was shocked to find how sad and hurt I felt. So now, no more! I don't need the drama and I certainly don't need the heartbreak, so I have been single by choice, for nearly nine years. There are times when I think, shall I...just give it one more go...? But then I think not! I have a large and wonderful family of children, sons and daughters in law and grandchildren, plus a cute little dog. I shan't be internet dating again, ever. It works for some people, undoubtedly...but it didn't for me.

I have never used a dating app but would consider it. Very very nervous about trying it due to the bad press. Would like to try meeting someone as a friend l think at first. Have heard that too many dating sites are being used by men purely for sex.

I tried it for 6 months, I met several people online. I didn’t go out and meet anyone until my 6 months were almost up. I changed my goalposts several times. I finally went out and met a lovely chap, we’ve been a couple for over 3.5 years now.

NO not for me I would never use a dating site. I probably wouldn’t need to even if I wanted to as I am very social and I still work full time so always meeting new people . I have no interest but a few friends I know have used them and I have not heard of a good experience yet. A few friends have been scammed and others just felt upset and let down when people don’t turn out be who they said where. I dont think there are enough safe gaurds.

You do need to be careful, there are some people out there not to be trusted. Fortunately I belonged to a good site and they alerted me to a fraudster I’d been chatting to. It confirmed my suspicions. Go with your instincts, be careful, be smart, be optimistic. Life is better shared with good companionship in our later years.
Like everything there are good sites and ones to be seriously avoided!

Would not use one myself (I'm happily married) But I have heard of horror stories regarding this kind of dating. One lady I know was harassed constantly for a year and in the end had to go to the police. That would put me off if I was single

Just been thrust onto the dating scene after the break down of my 29 year marriage. I’m really not sure right now what I think. I have been on one date and let’s just say he took a good photo.

We have several friends who met via a dating app and they all had a very positive experience. It worked for them, so never say never would be my motto for those who are thinking about giving it a go.

I'd rather gouge my eyes out with a rusty fork.
I'm not sure how I would truthfully describe myself without sending potential dates running off screaming to the hills.

I've tried dating apps in past & had some great fun. Even found last husband & a stalker after that failed. Nearly 10 years on from those days & all people want is to put notches on the bed post. I've been single without even a date for over 2 years now. Self-worth is now keeping me single.

I've looked at a few sites and apps but have always been put off by the fact that you need to give almost no information before being "matched" to men who claim to be interested.
It became a sort of a game after a while - how little can I give while still receiving a supposedly selected list?
The least was a name and age - no photo, no preferences, no likes or dislikes, nothing.!
This put me off entrusting any information at all

Maybe I'm getting old (dare I say it) but dating apps seem very cringy and people not really after a real meaningful relationship. Not for me.

I've not used one and would feel pretty uncomfortable doing so after a couple of friends who tried them had bad experiences. I have always been initially attracted to someone by "their spark" and general aura and I don't see how this would translate via an app. Call me old fashioned but they are not for me.

Male response here.
I did try a dating site for 2 months earlier this year and there was no problem arranging a date with ladies around 60, much easier than I expected and I dated 4 during that time. 3 did not go beyond the one date, the forth lasted 5 weeks when because of her family commitments it fizzled out.

Chatting to them about dating sites in general, they had all had some abusive messages, the other interesting thing they all had been single for a longish time, in one case 23yrs!. That aside many ladies post truly awful photos, if you do that it will encourage abusive messages. Since then I have been dating a local lady who I have known for some years as a friend, as we know each other’s background it has been easy to get on.

I don’t think most women who asked the right questions would have any problem avoiding bad experiences, if anyone sends improper messages block them straight away and choose a safe neutral venue for the first date.

What's an awful photo?
All of mine are awful!
I can't believe I have the nerve to take a face like mine out in public when I see a picture of myself.

Oh boy wish I could show a few, here are some I saw -
Attempting to blow a kiss, making you look like a puffer fish
A computer cam photo while you are looking at the keyboard
A distorted selfie , that is common
A sexy photo that show too much flesh
And many more

The photo is your market place, sensibly dressed, well groomed, nice smile, two photos ideally, one head and shoulders, maybe a party shot, the other full length doing something interesting, travel, activity, even work if it’s your passion

Men look at the photo if it doesn’t appeal they move on without reading further

Ah, I'm just glad I'm not in the market!

I see what you mean though.
Good luck to all you daters.

I've tried dating apps several times over the last 9 years. Because I have a fairly busy life, I struggle to find the time to spend on there and don't want to spend time on endless messages, I would rather meet face to face. Also, because I don't have a lot of time to spend on there, I tend to begrudge paying the fees and only use free ones.

I met both my current partner of 8 years and my last long-term partner via dating apps. We're I a single woman over 50 I would not want to meet men at pubs and clubs and consider dating apps to be a convenient way to initiate contact, indeed I have same age friends who are using them at the moment. As long as they are used safely (e.g. meeting in a public place, letting a friend know who you are meeting, where and when etc) I think they are a great way to meet people.

It no any different to going out meeting people as long as your cautious, I don’t use them personally anymore, my daughter used a dating site & ending up marrying this year the perfect couple.
Ideal for professional people who are limited to going out as lint as your cautious no harm.
Mobile apps make many things easier I have used & found them easy, the photos I feel are younger photos posted so maybe over a few weeks of getting to know each other ask for photos or even a FaceTime, just never meet in private & let others know where you are meeting as extra precaution.
Happy dating never to old to fall in love or meter new people

I haven't used them but have several friends and family that have had success on some of them