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How do you talk to your family about money? Share with GuardianCard - £200 voucher to be won

(191 Posts)
LucyBGransnet (GNHQ) Mon 08-Feb-21 11:26:01

Whether you’re discussing who has responsibility over your finances or who pays the bills each month, money can be a difficult subject to broach, even with your closest family. Talking about money can make us feel awkward or uncomfortable but these conversations are important and could make your family’s life easier. With this in mind, GuardianCard would like to hear your experiences of talking to your family about money.

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When did you decide to talk to your family about money and how did you get the conversation started? Did you find it an uncomfortable or difficult conversation to have? Have you spoken to your parents about your role in organising their money? Or have you had a discussion with your children about their involvement in your finances? Have you had to give some control of your finances to another person during the pandemic, for example to someone who does your weekly shop?

Whether it’s a conversation you’ve had time and time again or you’re yet to broach the subject, we want to hear from you. All who post on this thread will be entered into a prize draw where one lucky GNer will win a £200 voucher for a store of their choice (from a list).

Thanks and good luck!

GNHQ

Insight T&Cs apply

maciv234 Mon 08-Feb-21 17:42:29

alot of the time its a delicate subject but needs must after all you cannot do alot without it

Rondetto Mon 08-Feb-21 17:59:41

We decided with our three children to have a sort of weekly meeting. Some weeks regarding their school progress and other weeks about how to handle and take care of their finances. By the time they started work they knew our and their values and contributed to the home budget. I'm pleased to say that now they're grown up and have children of their own they are all sensible and save regularly.

Wendyfaint Mon 08-Feb-21 18:54:28

I try to lead by example - have just advised son to invest in premium bonds rather than online gambling

annodomini Mon 08-Feb-21 19:33:11

I wouldn't dream of giving advice to my middle-aged DSs who are far better than I am at dealing with their finances. I listen to them and take their advice if I like the sound of it!

fishnships Mon 08-Feb-21 19:43:42

Setting up their own bank accounts has led to some discussion about money with my DC and they are (so far!) being quite responsible. They know money will be needed in future for cars/homes etc. so it's in their own interest to save some of it.

Seizetheafternoon Tue 09-Feb-21 00:25:42

I haven’t had the conversation with my adult daughter yet but will need to as I want to take out a power of attorney. She knows where my will is kept and I’ve left the contact details of my financial advisor so she can get in touch with them if necessary while I’m still alive or after my death.

mumofmadboys Tue 09-Feb-21 06:30:31

We have 5 children - 4 are sensible with money and one is not. Same upbringing.I suppose it is just different personalities. My DH and I are quite cautious and careful with money.

libra10 Tue 09-Feb-21 11:06:18

I usually deal with financial matters, and discuss with my husband what we are going to do. Generally it's a matter of chasing the best interest rates on savings, which is almost impossible with current low rates.

We haven't discussed with our children any major financial decisions, but as our son lives with us there will be possibly a need to do this, and are wondering about eventually setting up a power of attorney.

I don't find it too difficult to talk to family about finances, but keep discussions quite basic, not going into too much detail. Everything is written down, easily accessible and all statements filed in order. We also have a will in place.

On the whole, I'm pretty organised, and if anything happened there would be no need to go searching for everything.

StoneyGran Tue 09-Feb-21 11:15:15

I deal with all financial matters in our house so there really isn't much discussion required. If we are making a large purchase then we run it by each other but otherwise we tick over nicely.

Harris27 Tue 09-Feb-21 11:29:28

My son is pretty good with money and think he could advise me. However youngest son took my advise about earning his money and putting a set amount away each month just in case has actually said it was one of the best things I advised him on!

glammanana Tue 09-Feb-21 11:49:11

I have made sure my DD has all my details of my bank accounts and Premium Bonds account and all my passwords so she has no trouble when she needs them.
After my lovely husband died last year I was locked out of his accounts and unable to transfer all his accounts to mine until a death certificate was issued 5 weeks later as he died away from the home, I dont want my DD to be in the same position as I was so have set up POA for when needed.

M0nica Tue 09-Feb-21 12:16:44

Nobody ever told me that money was meant to be difficult to talk about, so DH and I have always discussed our financial situation quite freely with each other .

I have always run the family finances as DH was away so much. I have a whole series of spread sheets, which I am entirely happy with. I have never seen any kind of money management software, whether freestanding, or offered through the bank card or account that could manage our money in a way that suits me.

Both our children are competent money managers, mainly because we have always made clear to them that credit is expensive and that makes anything bought cheap very expensive. We also did not give them anything and everything they ever wanted, so they learnt early, to wait untl they can afford things before theybuy.

They did get in a mess at university, as most students do, but we made it clear, that if we paid in money to sort them out, every penny had to be repaid, starting from day 1 - and we kept them to their word. We also made them pay for their keep if they were at home and earning.

We made wills when our first child was born and have revised them every 10 years and have had PoAs since DC reached 18.

Candelle Tue 09-Feb-21 12:37:22

We are reasonably open about money and our children know the old mantra of Micawber saving = happiness, although with ridiculous interest rates I am not quite so sure... perhaps go and spend the lot at the moment!

One daughter has been organising our on-line shopping (as she has a year of slots) and we pay her direct into her bank account.

I can never quite understand the fuss some make about giving bank details out, as they are printed on every cheque and we used to give those out freely.

We have wills and our daughters know which solicitor holds them and I know that when we do pop our clogs, our children will not take advantage of one another in any way.

I can see merit in this debit card but only if one can be sure of the character of one's children. It could be happiness for some naughty teenagers...?!

stoolballgirl Tue 09-Feb-21 13:56:23

We have always been open about money. I was taught as a child to save for things and not use credit cards etc, in turn I have taught my daughter the same. She is therefore great at managing her money, budgeting and bought her own house 18 months ago. She knows all about my finances, where my will is etc. I am POA for my elderly mother and dealt with Probate when my Dad died.

Grandmops1 Tue 09-Feb-21 14:09:30

We’ve made wills. Hopefully this will help when the time comes

StKilda Tue 09-Feb-21 14:10:49

We all sit down once a month with a bottle of wine and share where we are at that particular time.

PattyFingers Tue 09-Feb-21 14:49:29

We started talking to our son very early. The earlier the better we thought as otherwise money can become something secretive. When it's all above board and everyone knows what is expected it is much better but keep talking all the time as youngsters can be lead astray by others and they need to feel that they can talk to you about all the options available. Where and how to invest etc and our generation can help steer them in the right direction.

juliedee Tue 09-Feb-21 15:07:52

luckily was brought up to appreciate money and not to expect something for nothing, had jobs to do and saved up if you wanted something

FlexibleFriend Tue 09-Feb-21 16:20:08

I've always talked openly and honestly with my Sons about everything. So there was no specific time I sat them down to discuss finances, it's always been discussed. I have a will and so do they, I also have a POA and my youngest has full knowledge of that. I've also made him joint account holder on several accounts I have so yes he could access them whenever but he'll only do that when I can't. I trust him completely. He and my Dil made there own POA today so obviously being open about such stuff has a positive effect.

Andrea1 Tue 09-Feb-21 17:37:15

We have always been very open as a family about money. I was taught as a child to save for something I wanted and have taught our children the same.

Lisa5 Tue 09-Feb-21 17:40:00

A difficult subject needs to be talked about. My father has just died and everything would have been so much easier is he had assigned a power of attorney, or written a will.

sheebasima Tue 09-Feb-21 18:39:11

We are very open about money in my house although its me that manages everything we also talk if their is a problem.

Libby01 Tue 09-Feb-21 19:07:20

I manage all the money in our house however I am constantly telling my 25 year old son to save for his retirement. I advise him where to put his money so that it can grow.

Maggiemaybe Tue 09-Feb-21 19:54:03

Our adult children certainly don't need our advice, they all seem to be getting on just fine without it. When they were growing up though we set them on what we thought was the right track - giving them an allowance to manage so they learnt how to budget, and savings accounts. They know what's in our wills and they have all the information they'll need to sort out the finances when we fall under that bus.