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How do you talk to your family about money? Share with GuardianCard - £200 voucher to be won

(194 Posts)
LucyBGransnet (GNHQ) Mon 08-Feb-21 11:26:01

Whether you’re discussing who has responsibility over your finances or who pays the bills each month, money can be a difficult subject to broach, even with your closest family. Talking about money can make us feel awkward or uncomfortable but these conversations are important and could make your family’s life easier. With this in mind, GuardianCard would like to hear your experiences of talking to your family about money.

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When did you decide to talk to your family about money and how did you get the conversation started? Did you find it an uncomfortable or difficult conversation to have? Have you spoken to your parents about your role in organising their money? Or have you had a discussion with your children about their involvement in your finances? Have you had to give some control of your finances to another person during the pandemic, for example to someone who does your weekly shop?

Whether it’s a conversation you’ve had time and time again or you’re yet to broach the subject, we want to hear from you. All who post on this thread will be entered into a prize draw where one lucky GNer will win a £200 voucher for a store of their choice (from a list).

Thanks and good luck!

GNHQ

Insight T&Cs apply

Carado Tue 09-Feb-21 21:28:54

This was always a difficult subject with my mother, who only trusted my brother to deal with her affairs. She gave him POA when she reached her 90s and would never discuss her Will with me. I am not making the same mistake, and am treating all my children alike (including a stepson) and discussing things with them. That way, no ill feelings.

Andyboy190 Tue 09-Feb-21 23:05:42

I had a conversation with my 18 year old son and advised him to get life insurance cover now while he is fit and healthy and to invest in a Lisa and I am pleased he has taken my advice

mandm23 Wed 10-Feb-21 00:41:08

I have had years when I’ve been struggling and living with pennies in the bank ,thankfully not now ,I am a bit better off , so I know what’s it’s like to be skint and I personally tried to hide how hard up I was . I talk about finances much more openly now with my grown up children and try to give them good advice about how important pensions and savings are

Venus Wed 10-Feb-21 10:37:19

My son, who is an accountant, says I don't pay enough attention to what is happening with my money. I really do try and avoid the subject as I have a mental block about dealing with money issues. Fortunately, he does help me quite a bit on the tax side of things.

Vange1 Wed 10-Feb-21 10:58:41

I din't have very much money to spare when my children were young, so they went through some lean times with me. But I think this taught them that it 'doesn't grow on trees', & needs to be treated with respect. They are both in good jobs now, & doing well financially, & I am also in a much better situation.

mbody Wed 10-Feb-21 11:57:16

I tend not to discuss finances with family. There really has been no need thank goodness

Nutty1 Wed 10-Feb-21 12:31:25

We advise on money issues when asked and occasionally our advice is taken! Luckily we have very sensible adult children who rarely need our advice.

Shreddie Wed 10-Feb-21 13:30:47

I have M.E. and some cognitive difficulties. My son is a debt adviser and is extremely good with money. Neither of us has any credit or debts as I got into some trouble with finances in the past. My son often takes my card to get things for me and keeps my savings too. He also keeps me on track for getting bills paid. I trust him completely.

lizd31 Wed 10-Feb-21 13:35:46

I worked in banking all my life so I've always been able to help advise all my family on budgeting & encouraging them not to get into any sort of debt

roxannerayne Wed 10-Feb-21 15:56:58

This is something I don’t get involved in, it’s none of my business how family members deal with money.

rags Wed 10-Feb-21 18:30:01

I try to advise them based on my own experience

fevertree Wed 10-Feb-21 19:09:28

We discuss money and finances much like any other topic - frankly and openly (but without prying). This means that our children come to us for advice if they want our opinion, and they know exactly what our financial situation is.

Floradora9 Wed 10-Feb-21 21:53:32

I have never had the occasion to speak about money with my children . They know we are in a position to have good holidays and treat the grandchildren so what is there to discuss ? They have been sent a list of our investments and bank account details , withough the sums involved being disclosed , in case they ever need then and we have lasting power of attorney in place. I could not imagine having an account that my children could also draw on . It reminds me of their student days where I had an emergency fund they could call upon.

Taylor46id Wed 10-Feb-21 22:01:42

I’m always honest with my kids and grandchildren, if you need things save for them but obviously 🙄 you need credit or some kind of debt to help your credit score so I chat to them and let them know that if you have a credit card you should pay it off monthly although not everyone can afford that so keep chasing the 0% credit cards and move your debt to another card when the term finishes. I always advise some sort of savings or investments but not to make themselves hard up in the process. It’s very hard in these difficult times to manage money so we do have a lot of conversations about money.

kevincharley Wed 10-Feb-21 22:15:24

I spent 10 years on my own, sorting out my own finances. It wasn't something I relished. I've gradually handed over the finances to my husband. It seldom gets talked about these days as we're lucky enough to be reasonably comfortable now. It wasn't always so good but now we've got past 'redundacy' -which sparked a lot of conversations - it's much easier.

julieray Thu 11-Feb-21 10:13:29

My adult children and me have always been quite open with each other about money - advising each other about energy deals available and interest rates. They know what’s in my will already and seem happy with that

BGB31 Thu 11-Feb-21 10:29:24

Both my parents were terrible with money and I don't remember it every being talked about in a sensible way, it was just the cause of arguments.
Unfortunately I inherited their lack of sense when it comes to money and it is only in recent years (in my 50s) that I have been able to sort myself out a bit.

Amazingly my daughter seems to be a little more sensible than me. I don't know the ins and outs of her finances and she does sometimes ask for help, but now I'm in a slightly better financial position I am glad to be able to help her when I can.

I think it's really important to be open about money with immediate family. When things are treated as secret it can be very confusing and even hurtful.

gran1 Thu 11-Feb-21 11:30:28

When the children were small money conversations were about saving up for things. Perhaps not a bad idea these days too

GeminiJen Thu 11-Feb-21 13:28:39

When did you decide to talk to your family about money and how did you get the conversation started? Did you find it an uncomfortable or difficult conversation to have?
When the children were young, times were hard for a while and I got into the habit then of being open with them about money and the need to manage it well; what we could and couldn't afford, what needed to be saved for, etc.
I've never found it difficult or uncomfortable.
A couple of years ago I arranged Power of Attorney with my son and daughter as joint executors, so we had in depth discussions then. Both have copies of my Will; and my daughter has a list of all my passwords for access if needed to Bank accounts etc.
Thanks to financial education initiatives aimed at schoolchildren, I believe that my grandchildren will be much better prepared than I was, and at a younger age.

albertina Thu 11-Feb-21 17:22:28

Money is controversial in my house and we avoid talking about it. I got into serious debt at one time and the cloud is still over my head.

rebekahdonnelly Thu 11-Feb-21 20:01:45

The motto of our conversations is honesty is the best policy and that applies to ones about money too

kathcake Thu 11-Feb-21 20:21:28

we don't hold meetings, but we play games giving them a certain amount of money and they have to decide how to spend it . They might blow it all and end up with nothing or they might budget sensibly. Whoever is left with the most at the end of the month wins!

Parris Thu 11-Feb-21 22:34:37

If my daughter or I ever get any shopping for each other we simply transfer the amount in to each other’s bank. There are no trust issues that would require any other arrangement.

conkers Fri 12-Feb-21 09:57:02

Our adult son is a wealth manager. We are always open and honest about money. Wills and POA all sorted

M0nica Fri 12-Feb-21 10:15:10

I have just read the OP again and its question^When did you decide to talk to your family about money and how did you get the conversation started?^

The answer to that is money like like hatching, matching and dispatching, what dress to wear, what to eat and is there life on Mars? is just part of our normal daily chat. We are not a family who have Conversations, we just chat about anything and everything and very little is taboo.