Help, very thick bushy frizzy hair.... At a loss what to do.

Send some of your hair to me - mine is fine and flyaway, but insufficiently straight to just hang elegantly - my fringe turns upwards given half a chance. Some genuine thick bushy hair is just what I need!

My daughter is a hairdresser - I had a kerastraight treatment. It isn't cheap, but you gave a fortune on other products. I'm delighted with it and it lasts for around 5 months

From one curly-girl to another:

1) Combing or brushing curly/wavy hair is what makes it frizz. Combing and brushing is for straight hair. Use your fingers to 'comb' through, if you must, but even then, do it lightly. Or, use a seriously wide-tooth afro comb now and again before washing.

2) Let your hair dry naturally, having only blotted it. If you need to speed up drying use a hairdryer only with a diffuser.

3) Curly/wavy hair is best all one length. By and large, layers are for straight hair unless a) they're cut 'freehand' or b) they're done by a hairdresser very skilled with curly/wavy hair and who takes into account the different tensions.

I have thick, wavy hair. Two websites have helped me enormously, mainly because they adhere to tenets that I had begun to endorse off my own bat, before discovering them:
1) Curly Girl this recommends (amongst other things) never using products with silicone in on curly or wavy hair. It coats the hairs and builds up over time. Speaking from experience, this is what made my hair look good on the day I used such products, but impossible for me to deal with thereafter. It explained why my hair always looked good when I left the salon, but I could never recreate the look between cuts. I now use Dr Organics, Lush, Faith in Nature or Body Shop shampoos & conditioners and other hair products, because they don't have silicone in - and they work!
2) Going Grey Gracefully. I suspected my hair problems were being compounded by colouring it to hide the grey. My hair is (was!) naturally mousey brown in colour and I was bleaching it blonder. Once I stopped, I realised I had attractive white hair framing my face, the darker growth at my parting is less appealing, however! With the help of this Facebook group, I'm growing out the colour. 3 months along, my hair feels & looks healthier & is more manageable.
Regarding hairdressers, I go to one who is more mature and has her own chair, so she is not swayed by fashions in hairdressing. She listens to my ideas and cuts accordingly. I have longer layers and shoulder length hair. Hope this helps, because I know your frustration! X

Apparently, curly hair is harder to cut so you need a very skilled hairdresser.

Wow, good to see others have a similar problem, (sorry don't mean it like that). I'll read through all ideas, off out soon. I'm sitting here with damp hair .... I combed through oil after shower, and will now try and make it look OK. I have some ghds, haven't used them for ages. I don't like myself with dead straight hair, a smooth wave is good.
I was watching Joanna Lumley on Elvis last night,good programme, like her hair, though I think it's naturally straight. She had it long, flicked out a bit at back, sides layered a bit.
Thanks for your ideas.

I have untamed hair nearly all grey now and I use straighteners to be precise GHD's yes expensive I agree but there the best at distribution of heat I won't use anything else.

I too would recommend getting a good pair of ceramic straighteners.

My friend's neighbour is a hairdresser and said once you try a good set of straighteners, you'll see such a difference - they're not all the same. You don't need to pay gdh prices, I have a Babyliss set that cost me about £40 a few years ago. Don't bother too much trying to blow dry a style when it's shoulder length, but do use a good heat protection spray before you dry. Then use it again on each section of hair as you straighten it. Don't use mousse or anything else except the protection spray. I use Tresemme Care & Protect UV heat Defence Styling Spray. Always use conditioner, but not the leave in kind (unless you are treating yourself to a treatment). Use a finishing product if you want your hair to look especially nice, or if you're prepared to wash your hair more often, because your hair will get greasy more quickly (even dry hair gets greasy with product).

I have found that this method lasts several days (I too am overweight and trying to get a more flattering style).

Your hair sounds exactly like mine-yes we are told how lucky we are to have thick,curly tresses!I have found that layering is much better than having it thinned.Have you thought about keeping the length at the back and having the front sections layered so that it is less full around the front hairline?I also recommend argan oil,applied on damp hair,just a couple of drops spread onto damp fingers and run through the hair-it smells lovely too.

I bought a ceramic heat brush it leaves my hair frizzy free and I find it much easier to use than straighteners

Hallo seacliff and all frizzy hair sufferers. I am a brunette going grey, very very thick hair and very very curly. I have it coloured every four weeks. yesterday I went to a new hairdresser who gave me a wonderful cut where she took out the bulk without using thinning scissors which I wont have on my hair anyway as it makes it far far worse. Sometimes you need a change of hairdresser I think they stop 'seeing' you after a while. So now I use Frizz Ease shampoos Dream Curls and Extraordinary Oil to style it and do it about every three days. I only comb it in between styling no brushing which gives it even more static. I blow dry the top and fringe and scrunch dry the sides and back otherwise I would be there all day.
I have seen a number of silk pillows around and may try one of those too.
I have tried Keratin shampoos but they tend to weight the hair down after a few applications and its hard to get all the product out of your hair so I would go down the Bralian blow dry root - it can make the hari very dry and brittle.
Good nutrition is important to for your hair too.
I think this kind of hair will always be hard work but it can look so nice when done properly. Good luck with trying out some of these suggestions.

If you want straight hair a Brazilian blow dry would do the trick?

I have similar type of hair to you....the only way I can tame it is to have it short and layered....too heavy to wear longer... ..even when I was a lot younger I could"nt do anything with it.. ..too heavy to wear up ...too wild-woman worn down. I resigned myself in the end to keeping it short. On the plus side it is very easy to maintain just wash it daily and dry naturally. I can"t let it go longer than six weeks between cuts though as it has its own mind. I appreciate the simplicity of it short now than when I was a lot younger.....definitely wash and go.

Your hairdresser does it well so ask his/her advice on how you can maintain it and if there is any other style that would be easier for you to manage.
If you can afford it make a weekly appointment and stop trying to do it yourself. Only having it washed once a week is not unusual and probably easier on the hair condition.
Finally do ask them about length. Few people our age suit long hair. Good luck.

p.s. I am sure a sodium free shampoo would be a big help too.

I have started using one drop of Argan hair oil every day.
I wet my hands and apply the oil on damp hair as I find it moves around more easily that way.

I don't think colouring would make grey hair less coarse would it? I have naturally curly hair - it was wonderful in the 70's when the afro was fashionable. I used to have it razor cut which really suited my hair, but no-one seems to do that now. I stopped colouring when I started to go grey - I found my hair was in better condition and easier to manage without it.

I do think the best course is to find a good hairdresser and cutter - harder than it sounds of course. Sometimes it's worth going to the salon a couple of weeks after a cut to show them where it isn't working. Concentrate on getting the cut right before you add colour to the mix. Don't expect an overnight miracle. Ask them to gradually get your hair into a shape that suits. There's nothing worse than coming out of the hairdressers and wanting to hide from the world.

Good luck. Live with the curl - don't fight it.

I totally sympathise as my hair sounds very much the same. When I was younger and it was long I could tie it back but now I have it jaw length and it is awful. I always ask hair stylists not to thin it as it makes it even harder to handle, but they can't seem to resist as it is so thick. I only wash it once a week, at night, and sleeping on it calms it down but the ends are always ragged. I am hoping that once I have grown out the years of colouring and am back to my mousey self the texture will be different. When we know our hair looks awful, we feel awful.

I use a straightener with copious amounts of heat protector on the ends , heat may be bad for hair but I look like a cave woman if I don`t straighten lol . Frizz ease is good for getting rid of the frizzy look . I believe a Brazilian blow dry works wonders for frizz ? not sure how much it costs . Colouring it would also help as grey hair is much more coarse . Go to a decent salon for a consultation xx

Maybe borrow a ceramic hair straightener and see if you can get the hang of that.

Or investigate a Brazilian blow dry - I presume it's expensive but said to last a few months.

I wash my hair every day as it's very fine and can go limp otherwise. However I found this advice on a reputable website, which might help you seacliff

How often should you really wash your hair?

Medically Reviewed by Dr Rob Hick

Opinions differ

So how often should we really wash our hair? It's not a cop-out but the correct answer is it depends on who you ask and on your own hair!

If you have fine hair it's more likely to look limp the day after a wash so you may want to wash it more frequently.

For curly and coarse hair every 3 days or so may be a better idea.

Some people find their hair is more manageable and looks better the day after they've washed it as it's too soft and floppy on the day itself.

"A good benchmark for hair washing should be twice a week or when you feel your hair needs it," says top hair consultant Scott Cornwall.

He says, "If you have very thick, long and curly hair and need to spend a considerable amount of time blow-drying or styling, a good weekly wash would suffice."

The advice is different from Marilyn Sherlock the Chairman of the Institute of Trichologists. "Wash it every day," she says. "We wash our bodies every day and clean our teeth twice a day, why should hair be any different?"
She says: "With all of the fumes from cars and pollution a daily shampoo and condition is ideal."
Hair that has been coloured or processed may need less washing as oil doesn't travel so far down the hair shaft so it tends to be more dry and need shampooing less.

Marilyn says that daily washing doesn't apply to African-Caribbean hair, "It's more porous and needs oiling so should only be washed every 2 or 3 weeks to prevent it breaking.""

Or have it professionally straightened. A perm in reverse.

I would go for a couple of consultations at top Salons, ask their opinion on style etc. Definitely have it cut dry, maybe a long style with all the bulk is not the easiest to manage.

What about hot oil treatment? DD has used it when her curly hair has got a bit unruly.

Thanks everyone, Shandi I agree the thinning is probably a bad idea, I will stop that, will take a while to grow out what's already been done sadly.

I have a babylis big round hot brush, which smoothes it a bit, but I want to avoid heat too much as it's bad for hair. I only shampoo every 3/4 days, I'll try conditioner only some times.

I have just got a wide comb too , as I read brushes make it more frizzy. I tried twisting long bits when wet, leave to air dry, it looked like long spirals when dry, pretty but not very neat .though.

Not tried rollers, have so much hair, it would take ages. Wondered about rag rolling. It curls easily.

Frizz ease is OK, I have tried all sorts, cupboard is full of rejected products!! I won't have it cut yet, having got this far. Not sure whether to have a couple of long layers put in it. Thanks for your ideas.