How do I get the haircut I want?

Oh dear you've all got me quaking in my shoes as I'm going to the hairdressers today for a restyle. I have not been to one for 20 years as I wear my hair long and I trim it myself, but as I'm losing lots of hair and getting thin on top, I thought I should take advice. I've been for a consultation and the plan is to layer and shorten to take some weight off the roots. Fingers crossed I don't come home in tears! Especially as its daughters 50th birthday party tonight!

I think nelliemoser you've hit the nail on the head. The cut really is everything here. Then there's the styling which follows. I always take a picture of Tamsin Grieg which was taken at an awards ceremony - her hair was fab, a slightly punk, multi-directional pixie cut. Very flattering for an older face but that's only my opinion.
Even if they style it a bit wrong as long as you start off with the right cut you're halfway there.

Why do so many of us have this same sorry tale about hairdressers! They always used to cut too much of my hair, even though I asked for a little trim. I stick to my present one because she does know where to stop and what 1/2 an inch is. I also like the colour she uses for my highlights. But........the blow dry is appalling! I can't wait to get home and do it myself and I continue going because I know the cut will be good and I can manage it myself. I have found in the past that taking photos doesn't work because my hair is different to the person in the photo and won't turn out the same way.

Oh FGMadge, I can so relate to this.
I have a double crown, thick coarse hair, which has a mind of it's own!
It seems to pose a challenge to every hairdresser I've tried and the only one who actually got it right (and that was only after I went back and threw toys after the first cut), is a stylist at one of the 'top' salon chains across the UK. But at £51 a visit and needing to actually go every 6 weeks, definitely cant afford it, so am in the same position as you - what to do??

Hate getting my hair cut but it needs to be done about every 6-7 weeks as I do not like the feel of hair around my neck. (Long hair to me is like spiders to other people. Especially when clearing the plug hole. Ugh). My latest regular hairdresser has been ok but the last time he cut it it just wasn’t right. Decided to use one of those no appointment places in town. Big mistake. Sure she was still half-cut, no pun intended. The haircut was awful. That was four weeks ago. Have since spent a few days in South Wales and visited Bridgend. The fist salon I tried could fit me in and she did a wonderful rescue mission, brilliant cut. The cost was half that of what I pay in North Hampshire. The irony is that the stylist has only lived in Bridgend a few years, she moved from Reading which is only a few miles from here.

My hairdresser has been cutting my hair for more years than I care to remember, and, on the whole, I have been very happy with it, but recently, she never seems to be able to remember that what passes for my fringe sweeps to the right and I always have to remind her. I think we must both be getting old! In addition, my hair has a mind of its own. No matter how much she concentrates her efforts on one renegade bit, it always manages to stick out irritatingly once I have washed it. I would hate to have to find another hairdresser though - I wouldn’t know where to start!

Ah yes, I despair. They do not do what I ask. I think I am too. soft and give in to what they suggest which ALWAYS involves cutting a lot off.
I might try splashing out and going up to a London Salon as an experiment.

That should have been sectioning and not section in.

I only have a one chance rule. I only ask for a very short trim and tidy up the first time.
Once I trust them I let them cut more off.
I can tell right from the start if they are likely to be any good. If they get out clips and start section in off hair before they cut they are not going to be any good. They need to cut away with confidence, not even putting my parting in until the end. I am about to give mine the first wash after the cut and know it will fall into place.
I think GracesGran is right in that you need a young looking salon.

I cut my own hair as no one else does it but recently met a new friend who i dog walk with and she cut it as she is trained and it was the first time in years I was happy

This is why I have long hair - I got so fed up with hairdressers doing what they wanted to do.

My hair would be totally frizzy, untidy and cork screwing upwards if I did not keep it really short. I have had the same hairdresser for years now and she knows just how to cut mine without it looking butch . I CBA to spend hours in hairdressers .

You really need to choose your hairstyle to suit your hair type. I am sure that the different types of hair texture, growth patterns etc, will mean that a lot of people will never get the hair style they would really like. That is short of buying a wig or spending ££££s each week having your hair done.

Choose your hair style to suit your hairs natural behaviour and get the hairdresser to work with it not fight it.

Two chances? That's generous. The cut is everything and I have a very basic pixie cut. I take along a collage of pictures of Jamie Lee Curtis taken from different angles and say, "like that, please". If they can't carry out that simple instruction, I never darken their doors again.
After we moved last year, I was concerned about finding a new place but I got lucky and the first place I went to gave me a great cut so I keep going back. Their charges are remarkably modest, too so it's an all round win.

Madge we have more hairdressers on our High Street than charity shops and that's saying something and I'm currently avoiding them all for the reason you mention. Now all I have to do is work out how get tell the one who comes to my house to cut my hair that I shan't be making another appointment (She makes the follow up appointment before she leaves!) Why didn't I think it through!

They've all broken my two chances rule!

The cut is everything.

Some hairdressers appear to be able to cut and some turn you out of the salon looking reasonable. I have long since decided it is the cut that matters but that may be because of my type of hair. This means I leave the salon looking okay but generally hoping I can get home quickly. I wash my hair the next day and it looks fine. The only problem is that the best cutters are about 16 (my mother talking again - help) and the salons they inhabit are not the most comfortable for someone who is, shall we say, old enough to be their grandmother.

I haven't helped have I? - but I do sympathise. I hope this helps