Leggings

Yes, it's true, isn't it, that there are many phobias that most of us are totally unaware of. I had never heard of a button phobia until MOnica said her husband suffers from it, so I looked it up and learned that a lot of people have the phobia of buttons. I had a colleague who has a phobia about spiders and not just of live ones, but also of pictures of them and pictures of webs. This time of year is especially difficult, not just because real ones come indoors, but because of hallowe'en too.
I'm glad your husband is managing to cope, MOnica, but it must be so hard for him at times.

We are more aware of some phobias such as fear of spiders. This time of year is especially troubling for a friend of mine who cannot garden easily because of spiders. But to have a phobia about something that is so common could be really crippling. I am pleased your DH copes reasonably well.

*PECS As far as I know. His is not quite as bad as the one you describe, although, all my spare buttons are kept where he cannot see them.

It took him a long time to admit to the problem and I was puzzled why he wanted the buttons cut off pyjamas trousers and the waist join sewn up, he just said they were uncomfortable to lie on. Now I know, I can make adjustments as necessary.

My younger sister had a phobia of spiders. When we were little I treated it as a joke, but when I was in my teens, I saw her hysterical with fear when she saw a big spider and realised, how scared she was, after that I treated her problem seriously and if I was around protected her from spiders and being teased about her fear.

M0nica has your DH always had this phobia? DD taught a child recently who also could not have clothes with buttons and found them very distressing. DD had to put the button jar (used for counting and craft activities) away for the year.
So many things, that most can take for granted, that can really inhibit others lives.

Mapleleaf. The answer is he copes. When he wears a shirt he will button it up but minimise unbuttoning by pulling it over his head. He lives in T shirts and sweat shirts. He wears fleeces or other overcoats with zips when he needs extra warmth outside. Very few trousers have buttons, they have variations on hooks and eyes as waist fasteners. As I said, if there is no alternative he copes, and I have clothes with buttons on. I just avoid very big or obvious ones.

https://www.gransnet.com/uploads/talk/201810/medium-935374-max-wall.png https://www.gransnet.com/uploads/talk/201810/medium-633610-leggings.jpg

Now Max Wall was a great and odd dressing comedian but really no comparison re modern leggings!

I can understand a phobia about buttons. My mum had one about safety pins. She was a nurse during the war. and handling a safety pin made her sick .

I’m intrigued, MOnica. A phobia about buttons? That must make life quite difficult for your DH? ( So much clothing has buttons - shirts, trousers, coats etc)

I have often asked my DHs opinion on clothes - and then, he says, I take the opposite action! For me this helps clear my thinking. I never ever dress 'for my husband'! I'm my own person. If you want to wear legging, wear them. They're very comfortable and easier to wear than tights. It just depends on the situation eg I wouldn't wear leggings if I were meeting the Queen .

I'm fortunate that my DH doesn't mind what I wear. He likes to see me looking smart, but that includes smart casual clothes too. In fact, he has been known to buy me tunic tops and sweaters that he knows will suit me. I am very lucky.

Winterwhite I think opaque tights work with most things. You can't get different denier. I like 40 denier but you can get thicker ones. I try to get matte ones rather than shiny but you can't always tell from the packet. They are cheap, I get mine from Primark or Asda. They are about £3 for three pairs.

If you have good legs flaunt them, if you haven't - so what, still flaunt them. I think you should dress for yourself, but bear in mind the opinions of other people whose opinion you consider or value.

DH has a phobia about buttons. It doesn't stop me wearing clothes with buttons on occasion, but I do avoid anything with large flamboyant buttons. I have just knitted a short jacket and replaced the large button that does it up at the top with ties.

Wear what you want, what you are comfortable in, and what you think suits youFramilode I wear a lot of leggings and tunics but also skinny jeans and jumpers. If I wore what DH wanted ,it would be long flowing hair ( grey) , mini skirts and boots. Just like when we were at art school back in the 60s Lovely he has this idea of me I suppose ?

Dress for yourself and for your comfort. I wear leggings a lot, in fact I have them on now. My husband at one time came up with the "Max Wall" remark when leggings were a new concept, but I think he has accepted them now they are so universal. I hasten to add I wear them with longish shirts that cover my backside and they go well with ankle boots which I'm back into now the weather is getting colder. Anyway he tells me most days I look nice so I presume he means it, although I think he'd like to see me in a skirt or a dress a bit more often but I think I buy far fewer of that sort of clothing since I gave up work.

Can you not meet somewhere in the middle. I agree you should dress for yourself but your husband likes a certain look and is interested in what you wear. Maybe you could reciprocate by suggesting a new look for him.

Dress for yourself, not for anyone else. Husbands and partners who try to control what their wife wears need to,find a better hobby.

Further to KatyK's post just now - I like the idea of dark opaque tights rather than leggings. Are there circa when they don't work?

If he mentions Wax Wall again, remind him that the principal boy in most pantomimes is actually a young woman in what is the equivalent of leggings. He would probably delight to sit and watch her stride around the stage. You will look like a glamorous Prince Charming or Dandini - not like a superanuuated comedian.

Or just tell him that is what you mean to wear, and if he doesn't like it, he can look the other way.

I wear long tunics or above the knee dresses with leggings or dark opaque tights. I like them.

I love a nice dress,and wear dresses most of the time but I also wear leggings and tunic tops .My OH likes the look says its like mini skirts and thick tights...lol takes him back to the 70's.

Max Wall what a horrid thought I have images of a pot belly and knock knees awful.
Leggings are much nicer, with a long top and warm in winter, just buy them, but reserve the slinky dress for those special occasions!.

Thanks. You're all really echoing what I'm thinking. Shops here I come.

Yes I would dress for yourself and I do but if DH finds something unattractive I try to take an objective view of his opinion. Sometimes he's right. He doesn't like leggings (and we get the Max Wall thing) but he knows I find them comfortable around the house with a long top - wouldnt leave the house in them though I have short fat legs black jeans work better for me.

Oh, and while you're about it, try picking him up on his sartorial choices ?

Definitely dress for yourself and your comfort. Slinky dress and high heels?! Heavens, what decade is he living in? Obviously back in the dark ages when women were no more than their husband's chattels ?.
Just go and buy the clothes you want, without mentioning it.