Urmstongran
Oh dear...dear dear dear (shakes head) 
I hate to be the bearer of bad news but, as a truth teller, I must disabuse you of your thoughts regarding my status.
I'm certainly not titled, neither am I a member of the nobility in any way shape or form.
Born and raised in a council house in North Liverpool near Formby, I married a Mancunian and moved South to Virginia Water. I now live in SWSurrey. I'm a retired lawyer. Self educated, left grammar school with nothing save a love of English language/reading. Earned my degrees through the OU when I was married. Any knowledge has been picked up whist reading and living. I talk a lot, listen a lot and have learned much from my interaction with people at work and on the social scene, from movers and shakers to those who have led much less fortunate lives on the streets. I'm a proud Liverpudlian, flat vowels and all.