Hairdressers, and how to change them without hurting their feelings

I used to have a hairdresser come to my house but after she had cut my hair I always used to have to trim long bits she had missed. I stopped using her but we have remained friends and meet up quite often. However, neither of us ever mentions where I am getting my hair done now!

For heaven's sake! I am gobsmacked that so many people are in thrall to their hairdresser and have apparently spent months or years not being satisfied with the results but being too scared to change. What are they going to do to do if you don't go back? You don't need to make excuses, just don't make another appointment. End of.

The price has risen so much at my hairdressers that I am changing my salon, I don't know how they expect people to pay what they charge now. I don't like not tipping but with the price they are charging in relation to my income it was becoming too much.

Indeed sodapop and quite funny too.

Nor mine GabriellaG54 However I would have to say it how it was, some people don't realise how cutting they can be. ( good hairdressing analogy there !)

Oh sodapop it was me.
I thought, if the OP was not confident enough to say she was unhappy with the stylist, that a small gift (chocs or wine) might make it easier to say goodbye...with thanks.
Not my modus operandi but I'd never be snarky.

I've been going to the same salon for year, but won't have some stylists again if I don't like what they did. They've started sending me a text after my visit to ask me to rate their performance. I just ignored it until one day the owner asked if I'd give them a rating and I told him the minute I'm not satisfied he'd know, because I wouldn't be back.

Actually there is one girl, who when they told me there was only her available on the day I wanted, I briefly panicked and said, Thinking about it, I need the colour doing, is M (my favourite stylist) in on Tuesday?' And went without a blow dry that day1 So yes, it is sometimes difficult to tell the truth.

If you are confident enough, tell the hairdresser that you are not happy with the work they have done on your hair. If you are a little cowardly, say you want to grow your hair a bit longer and maybe will be back in touch in six months. Otherwise, just go somewhere else. You are the customer.

When I left a salon because I wasn't happy with what they did, I just mentioned that DH and I were booking a holiday around the time of the next appointment, and that I would let them know a suitable date. I never did, and never went back.

This can't be the real GabriellaG45 an imposter has taken over !!. Why on earth would the poster want to buy a gift for someone who has already been paid for their work and has offended her into the bargain.

Oh dear! I'd buy a gift for her and thank her for the 3 years she's been doing your hair but explain that you've decided to go with a friend to an (unnamed) salon to get a fresh new look. Just like changing banks or shopping habits, you need not fully explain.

I have mentioned many times before on GN that I hate going to the hairdresser. I hate looking at myself in the mirror and hate the "where are you going on holidays" banter when my answer is almost always "nowhere".

About a year ago I was desperate for a hair cut (my hair is poor anyway) and spotted what some might call an "old ladies salon" (the kind where people still go for shampoos and set on a Friday) in a quiet street in town. I decided to ring up and make an appointment (giving chapter and verse of why I hate the hairdressers). The "salon" is owned by 2 middle aged women (both called Susan) and I can honestly say it was the best thing I ever did. I walked in and for the first time in years I didn't feel out of place or intimidated. The 2 Susans made me laugh telling me funny stories about some of their very elderly clients (not in a nasty way) they gave me real tips on how to dry and style my fine hair and never once asked me where I was gong on my holidays ! Before I knew it I was done and dusted. no panic attack and no anxiety levels going through the roof. Best move I ever made. I still hate the hairdressers as they insist on having mirrors but at least its not the ordeal it used to be.

Jellybeanjoan I can not bear anyone touching my hair, so when I find a hairdresser I can tolerate I'm stuck with her,,&I've had a few odd hair cuts in my life

Yes I agree JulieMM.

I have a friend who never goes to the same hairdresser twice. She advocates that, as a new customer, she will get first-class treatment plus a good hair cut - as they’ll want you to go back.

Shizam it's amazing how many hairdressers take their mood out on one's hair! I have sat in the chair with gathering dread as a hairdresser rants on about something or other - or worse, chats to a colleague and doesn't look at my head whilst cutting!

I zig-zag along my high street dodging all the hairdressers I have ditched over the years . Then I invariably see them in the supermarket or the post office! It must happen often to hairdressers that people dodge them.

But I have a young niece who is a hairdresser and she is wonderful. Pity she doesn't live near me!

I scuttle past two hairdressers that I’ve abandoned! Both really sweet, but I grew out of them, sorry for pun. Latest one was good. But went mad on hair last time. Having a rant about something and my hair took it. I cut my own hair for years. Maybe I’ll go back to that?

just go elsewhere, that's what I do

Why are you worried about offending her? She’s clearly offending you and you’re effectively paying her to do so!

I've never really felt completely at ease at the hairdressers. It's supposed to be such a relaxing or even enjoyable experience. Hmm I'm not so sure and I don't think I'd want someone to come to my house. I do have a lovely hairdresser but only now go about every three months. In the past I have sometimes felt like being on a production line and then there is all the small talk business.

I think many people would find it hard to say
“. I do not want your services from henceforth woman. Your comments about my relationship with my husband displease me. You speak out of turn. You do not have the rank or social position to speak so rudely to me. Away with you Madam and do not darken my doors
Or even to remember half of it.
Just don’t make another appointment, make an excuse if you wish, smile and then find yourself another hairdresser

Tillybelle.
Thank you for your comments. I did not think you were being critical of my post at all.
I go to my hairdresser at her home, and know how I would feel if I wanted to leave which thankfully I don’t.

As green gran says, there is no reason why you shouldn't tell them why you no longer wish to use their services. After all, they may not realise how they annoyed you!

I never make appointments and had the same hairdresser for 10years but her salon has closed now. Was really local so I could always get a cut within 2days and she did a wet cut which suited me fine. Tried a new salon a few streets away and the cut was awful. Didn't even wash or damp the hair fringe was too long and very uneven and a piece of hair was left uncut at the back. I have a hairdresser niece but I couldn't complain if she did it wrong so I'm now looking for someone new.
OP just don't rebook it's a service and she sounds very overbearing. Plenty of others about. And go careful what you share about your personal life keep to small talk or current affairs
All the best

jellybeanjean I just love the image of it! If only I could draw:
You - jelly bean girl
knowing she's a wimp but
putting on big girl's pants
biting the bullet
and
woman-ing up!

It's brilliant!!

Good luck - and as for everyone who has said words to the effect "you are the customer! For goodness sake! You are paying her! Just tell her". etc. just don't worry...

OK so it is just a customer/client and service provider situation and she is just working for you.... but the whole point is that she has a very bossy and overpowering presence and very few people are used to being cool and business-like with the hair-dresser, and just dismissing them or putting them in their place. There is definitely something unusual about the relationship we have with our Hairdresser.

I remember going to a pre performance talk before The Barber of Seville, by Jonathan Miller and Mark Elder. Jonathan Miller (who trained as a Neurologist) said that we have this strangely intimate relationship with the Hair-dresser because they come near us touching the ends of our hair and our head and looking at us a lot. This touching makes us trust them and we start to talk.... Hence The Barber of Seville was able to be the social organiser of the more intimate relationships in people's lives...

So if you find it hard to say "I do not want your services from henceforth woman. Your comments about my relationship with my husband displease me. You speak out of turn. You do not have the rank or social position to speak so rudely to me. Away with you Madam and do not darken my doors....." I think most people find it hard to say that. Or wtte.

So do not call yourself a "wimp". You are a normal person! Just don't make another appointment. Make up any old excuse that you feel easiest with using, or pretend you're in a great hurry...
Lots of luck!!! ?‍♀️??‍♂️