Hairdressers, and how to change them without hurting their feelings

Don’t book her, or cancel the next appointment and go elsewhere!
You may end up paying more or not liking the results but it is a commercial transaction not a friendship. If you must say anything (and you don’t have to) say you have decided you prefer going to a salon.

On the other hand, she may have a good idea of what suits you and you say she clearly knows her stuff.
Regarding her comments about your husband, who initiates the conversation?
Try changing the subject, ignoring any questions about him or be brutal and leave her in no doubts about his disability.

I had to wait till mine was on maternity leave, then I sneaked away!

I liked her, but she too disregarded everything I said , and did her own thing!

It sounds like a stressful and unpleasant experience. She may have been trained in hairdressing by Sassoon, but she clearly didn't do a customer service course! Why give yourself so much stress? You are after all the customer and I bet you're not the only one who's walked away.

It's supposed to be a pleasant experience say I, who once told a hairdresser to, 'Stop cutting now!' As she tried to even up the sides by keep cutting it shorter and shorter.

Why not try somewhere else and you may find it a far nicer experience. What have you got to lose? If you're dreading going it's clearly upsetting you, so think of yourself here - you're paying to be upset with a hairdo thrown in.

The thought of changing hairdressers is a terrifying prospect for me but I think you should just cancel the next one, if you make it before you leave, or just not make one at all.

It is difficult I think as your relationship with your hairdresser is quite personal. It’s easy to say don’t make another appointment, but not so easy when she’s poised over the appointment book asking when you’re coming again. And rather cowardly then to cancel it because she’ll still want to re-book. I don’t really have an answer, but I agree you shouldn’t keep going if it makes you miserable. Good luck!

I imagine that the problem for hairdressers is striking a balance between what the client says they want, and what the hairdresser’s professional instincts tell them would a) suit them and b) work with their type of hair.

A good hairdresser will discuss things, explain potential difficulties, and reach a solution that the client is happy with.

There are hairdressers like that out there (I go to one!) and you’re under no obligation at all to stay with yours OP if she’s intimidating you and not giving you choices.

I would juts say I dont have my diary when she wants to make the next appointment and say you will call her and then dont.

You are worried about hurting her feelings - but she is hurting yours! Just fail to make another appointment; you are under no obligation to her.

I have always found hairdressers a trial which is why my hair is now long!

I think you have to remember that you are employing the hairdresser , she is not your friend. I think the key point is here that you go to her home to have your hair done. In my experience, (and I have my colour done in someone’s kitchen) is that these people treat you more as a friend than a client . I had to tell my lady I no longer wanted her to cut my hair (she really can’t) but she has accepted that and still does the colour. My daughter is much better at changing hairdressers, hygienists etc. By all means make your next appointment , then phone / text and say you can’t come and will be in touch or follow the route suggested by Teetime above. But CHANGE!

I used to have a hairdresser like this. I stopped going when she cut my hair for my daughter's wedding and she totally disregarded how I wanted it and I hated it. She also used to hand out unwanted advice about how to live my life. I am a mum of 3 and she has never been married so her take on life wasn't the same as mine. But this didn't stop her. My husband still goes there as it's cheap and nearby. His solution to her 'lectures' is to just say "yes" and "no" every now and then and hope it's the correct response!
So my advice is to just stop going and find a new hairdresser who you are happy to visit. Good Luck!!

I now go to a salon where you can stick to one stylist or ask for whoever's free ....I do the latter and benefit from a different view on the same haircut. I'm glad I made the switch.

For goodness sake what is it about hairdressers that scares their customers so much.
You are the customer paying for a service jellybeanjean if your hairdresser is not providing a satisfactory service then go elsewhere. As for her comments about your personal life that is quite unpleasant and out of order. If it were me I would tell her exactly why I am not going back but if you don't like confrontation then just don't book again.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Its the same with any service you are dissatisfied with....you just do not use them again. Its not a 'relationship'......they supply a service and you pay.....if the service is not up to your requirements then do not employ them. No need for unpleasantness or guilt.

The hairdresser didn't worry about being unpleasant to the poster
HildaW

I think as the service is so personal it encourages the relationship to be personal. I’ve had the same hairdresser for five years. My hair was initially cut as I asked, now it’s just not right although we chat about what needs tweaking somehow it doesn’t happen. The hairdresser is very busy and as we struggled with suitable times I’m now usually booked in two appointments ahead. I’m currently researching alternatives. When I find one I will simply cancel the next appointment, if asked why I will say nothing - just ignore the question. If the alternative seems better I’ll cancel the outstanding appointment and if asked say it suits my schedule better to be elsewhere. I suspect she’ll soon fill my space and if we bump into each other in the street we will chat amicably. Be brave if you need to change, you’re worth it .

I just stopped going to a hairdresser as I was not happy with what he did - also he did not have a mirror and I regarded that as arrogant. All my friends still go and I have seen him out and about and we are still pleasant to each other. As others have said - it is a business arrangement and it is not like changing hairdresser in the same salon.
My children would rather got to the dentist than the hairdresser!

Don't worry about it! If you are not happy with either how she does your hair or her comments on your personal life, (she obviously thinks she is being supportive but isn't!) go elsewhere!
Either ask friends where they go, or if you still need to have someone come to your home, there are no doubt several others.
If she tries to book your next appointment in advance, say you can't because your husband is waiting for an appointment at the hospital so can't plan anything!
Is it just me that wonders just what you are paying for with mobile hairdressers? They are usually no cheaper than visiting a salon and they are using your water and electricity, heating etc ?

Join the "worriers" club... see other thread!

goodness can we really go through life being bullied and browbeaten by others,,, yes, I have,, now I don`t

good luck...

Just explain to her that as a carer for your husband you feel the need to get out of the house and have some me time.
So a salon experience is preferable to being in the home.
This should do it !

jellybeanjean you are the victim of bullying. If you look at it in that light hopefully you will get the strength to find someone else. Good luck

As much as you've used her for a while a change may not be a bad thing if you try someone else and find you were happy you could always go back.
Could always say someone treated you if you feel you need to make an excuse but it's your money at the end of the day and you should be spending it where you want to.

I have scuttled between two hairdressers for the last 30 years, they used to work in same salon, they are friendly. All depends on what I want and who is available when I need/want it doing.

No problem they are providing a service, I am paying, yes we have built up a relationship/friendly rapport but they are not my “friends”.

Please do not feel bullied/browbeaten in doing something /using a service you are uncomfortable with.

For years I had a mobile hairdresser to cut my hair, but when she no longer cut it the way I asked, I decided to try a salon. I never did make an advanced appointment, just never made another one. To my surprise the salon was eight pounds cheaper. I just assumed the mobile hairdresser would be cheaper with less overheads.