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A ‘dressy’ do I can’t get out of - help!

(32 Posts)
Witzend Tue 08-Jun-21 10:00:19

It’s not until early September, and ducking out is out of the question - an evening do at a very smart London venue.

I really don’t like dressing up any more and don’t have any sort of suitable dress, and I’m certainly not going to buy one I’ll never wear again (hardly ever wear dresses anyway).

However I do have this top, bought on impulse a while ago and never yet worn, silky material - I thought it’d do with plain black trousers or a long black skirt - what do you think?

It’s black tie so dh will have to hire a suit - he used to have his own but he was heavier then so even if he still has it, it’s not going to fit. Bum and bum again!

winterwhite Tue 08-Jun-21 10:06:55

Top will look lovely with either trousers or a skirt. If it's black tie perhaps a skirt? And a black bra in case straps show. Have fun!

ExD Tue 08-Jun-21 10:11:02

That top is lovely and I ag with winterwhite trousers or a skirt whichever you feel most comfortable with I was at a wedding last week and all of us of a ' certain age' wore trousers. It was quite a 'posh' do!

Lucca Tue 08-Jun-21 10:11:38

How about a knee length (or thereabouts !) black velvet skirt ? Or one of those lovely knife pleated ones.

ExD Tue 08-Jun-21 10:13:00

ps - beige trousers, if you can find the right beige would also be fine. Its a very pretty top

MawBe Tue 08-Jun-21 10:16:08

It looks mostly navy rather than black - navy palazzo trousers?
Added advantage is you can wear comfy flat shoes!
But I sympathise, my heart sank some years ago when we were expected at an aunts 80th do in Scotland (black tie) it would have involved posh frock for me, DJ for DH and flying up (I was still teaching) plus an overnight stay I was so relieved when we could not find a flight from Bournemouth for DH and had to “regretfully decline”
Weddings are bad enough!

Nannarose Tue 08-Jun-21 10:17:38

One of my "top tips " was given to me by a colleague who was a model in the 60s. Get a wide length of silky fabric - habutai is cheap (try Broadwick Silks on-line) or look in Asian fabric stores. For this top, use a plain colour that picks up one of the colours in the top. Wear it slung over one shoulder as you arrive, just draped round your neck when eating or drinking. It gives a top and trousers a "pulled together" look.

Redhead56 Tue 08-Jun-21 10:22:04

It’s a nice top that I would wear for a ‘do’ as it’s smart and a nice shape. Definitely pair it with black skirt or trousers and black shoes. . Have your hair done put a bit of glitz on and makeup. Don’t be intimidated because it’s a smart London venue be yourself and enjoy.

Lin52 Tue 08-Jun-21 10:25:34

The top is lovely, your choice of long skirt or trousers in black is spot on. Hope you enjoy your evening.

Lucca Tue 08-Jun-21 10:26:05

Ah wel, spotted Maw, navy is good too !

Grandmajean Tue 08-Jun-21 10:28:39

I'm with most of the others - smart black trousers or long skirt . The top is beautiful and perfectly suitable for the event. Nothing on your neck unless it's a choker as plenty "interest" in the top.
Grandmajean - fashion adviser to the stars.wink

Blossoming Tue 08-Jun-21 10:35:46

You don’t have to wear a floor length gown for a black tie event, trousers or skirts are both fine. I think palazzo pants look more ‘dressy’ than tailored trousers for an event like this.

Peasblossom Tue 08-Jun-21 10:37:46

Outrageous dangly earrings.

They always say I have style.?

MagicWand Tue 08-Jun-21 10:41:26

You say your DH is hiring a suit, how about you hiring an outfit too? If it's good enough for Carrie . . . . !

Witzend Tue 08-Jun-21 11:02:34

Thanks all - I’ve just ordered some plain black linen trousers from M&S. No sense in leaving it until they’ve sold out!
I have some sandals that will do but will have to find some sort of necklace.
I did think of black velvet trousers first, Lucca (I don’t do knee length skirts any more anyway) but given that it’ll be early September it could still be hot.

I’m not at all intimidated by smart venues, BTW - I just don’t like dressed-up formal do’s now. Pretty sure I will know hardly anyone except the hosts and a very few family, but I’ve just bet dh now that some of those won’t come - one sister IL ‘hates’ London so I doubt she’ll bother! The BiL might though.

foxie48 Tue 08-Jun-21 11:02:46

I was also going to suggest that MagicWand. I stopped buying really dressy stuff ages ago and will hire. Most cities have a dress hire shop and you can also go online. Having said that, I think your top is very pretty and I'd pair it with a pair of trousers that suit my shape. My go to would be slim with a pair of heels but I've got skinny legs!

BigBertha1 Tue 08-Jun-21 11:12:23

I understand the trend is to 'renting' a dress for do. Apparently Carrie Symonds/Johnson does so regularly. I think I would do that for a black tie do as I can imagine some folk who have been desparate to attend such events will go to town on their outfits. I hope you can enjoy it.

merlotgran Tue 08-Jun-21 11:25:05

I would go for the darkest navy trousers I could find rather than black.

Sorry to disagree with the '60's model but I think the trend of draping a scarf over one shoulder makes a loose top look even wider and ungainly. Better to show it off with jewellery that compliments.

Nannarose Tue 08-Jun-21 11:36:59

Well, I didn't explain very well (60s model showed me!) I didn't mean just draped over one shoulder, but round neck, low at front, then slung over one shoulder - think 'shalwar kameez'. Also does look nice just round neck and falling loose. Depends on body shape etc, and of course, needs to be comfy, otherwise no style at all!

TerriBull Tue 08-Jun-21 12:05:31

"I really don't like dressing up anymore" you are not alone Witzend smile

I'd go with Maw's suggestion, pick out the predominant navy something smart like Palazzo trousers or just smart trousers, which hopefully you can wear again rather than just the once, as is often the case with dressing up gear.

Although you could take a leaf out of Carrie's book and hire something really expensive.

Whatever you decide, hope you enjoy the occasion.

geekesse Tue 08-Jun-21 12:29:46

Strictly speaking, the ‘correct’ wear for a woman at a black tie event is a cocktail dress, so a below knee-length skirt, not long, would be quite acceptable. But almost no-one follows the old rules these days, so you can probably get away with wearing whatever you like.

cornishpatsy Tue 08-Jun-21 12:35:29

I am at the stage where ducking out is never out of the question.

If I do not want to attend an event I will not. It can sometimes feel awkward to decline an invitation but rather that than being somewhere I don't want to be for hours wearing an outfit that I spent hours trawling the shops for and spent too much money on.

I hope the event will be better than expected.

vegansrock Tue 08-Jun-21 12:49:04

I can’t understand why people would avoid an event just because of worrying about what to wear. I’ve a wardrobe full of “occasion outfits” (which I have made myself) and love an occasion to dress up. As others have said, buy second hand from somewhere like Vinted or Oxfam have a posh frock online section, or hire something. Feel confident and enjoy - you know there will be good food and drink if nothing else.

Witzend Tue 08-Jun-21 13:21:12

Each to her own, vegansrock - I’m a casual/smart-casual type and haven’t enjoyed dressing up to the nines for a long time.

Shelflife Tue 08-Jun-21 13:24:16

You have a lovely top, a black full length skirt will be perfect- or black trousers. I don't like dressy do's either and never wear dresses, trousers or full let skirt for me ! A bit of bling would be good , necklace or bracelet and some pretty shoes that are comfortable! Enjoy the evening when it arrives!