We have become a nation of scruffs!

This is what you said PippaZ
‘Those who like to live by rules will judge others by clothes rules (even if they are very outdated). Those who are happy to live and let live as long as no harm is done will see the whole person.’
I think you were implying that those who ‘like to live by rules’ are inferior to those who are ‘happy to live and let live’. However, I don’t think that by choosing to dress smartly we are necessarily somebody who likes to live by the rules, I really don’t see what you mean.
I also think that we do all judge, if that’s the right word - I mean by that notice and form an opinion of a person, by what they are wearing, not to look at them in a derogatory way. We may deny we do it, but we do. This is interesting I think, we all have unconscious preconceptions. www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/finding-new-home/202005/how-we-judge-others-their-clothes

I had to laugh at a Tripadvisor review of a restaurant I was looking at recently for a special meal. The reviewer was very happy with it because it was full of guests of a certain disposition and demographic, well-heeled types in the know and, most importantly, no riff raff in ripped jeans, trainers and hoodies. I couldn't detect any tourists either.

I hope he wasn't there the night we went, obvious tourists lowering the tone (though we 'd left our ripped jeans and hoodies at home).

When you see the old holiday photos from the 50's everyone is dressed up to some extent. It is lovely to see the women in nice dresses. You just don't see it anymore.

We didn't have trainers and jogging bottoms etc. in those days though.

Personally, I think there is a line between casual and scruffy. If clothes are clean and in good repair then that should be all that matters. Scruffy to me implies dirty.

I am bewildered at some of the fashions these day though - ripped jeans, low slung pants showing underpants

Casdon

I think you are taking this to the extreme PippaZ. Does enjoying looking smart when you go out mean you live by rules? I think it just means you enjoy looking smart, it’s good for your self esteem and your well-being.

By not acknowledging that everybody judges what other people wear, whether they want to or not is not putting yourself on a higher moral pedestal by saying you live and let live and others don’t, it’s just failing to acknowledge the reality.
It is actually possible to care about your appearance and be as fully rounded a person as somebody who doesn’t.

If that was the case Casdon, I would agree with you. Do you really think that everybody "judges" what other people wear? I don't - judge I mean - so I don't, as you put it, accept that everyone does. I don't think I am alone in this nor was I suggesting there is any morality in either being of an authoritarian bent or a more liberal one.

However, I think it's sad that Ealdemodor even sees herself in relation to how others dress and says but nowadays I often feel overdressed - why? Wear what you want to wear with aplomb. Smile at those who are doing the same - but with a different style - in the knowledge that you both enjoy the theatre. That was what it was all about, after all.

Blossoming - I love that!

Like a game of cluedo here isn’t it ? Can’t imagine what would be deletable on this particular topic.

Just this, really

I think you are taking this to the extreme PippaZ. Does enjoying looking smart when you go out mean you live by rules? I think it just means you enjoy looking smart, it’s good for your self esteem and your well-being.

By not acknowledging that everybody judges what other people wear, whether they want to or not is not putting yourself on a higher moral pedestal by saying you live and let live and others don’t, it’s just failing to acknowledge the reality.
It is actually possible to care about your appearance and be as fully rounded a person as somebody who doesn’t.

Thank goodness the days of dressing up in formal evening clothes are mostly over. I've always been amazed at post war photos of women at Covent Garden wearing full length ball gowns to sit in the stalls or grand tier. What on earth did they do with those skirts when someone wanted to go past them in order to get to their seat?

Lucca

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Thank you Lucca.

I think we would all be on to a loser if we didn't feel confident in our own choices. Those who like to live by rules will judge others by clothes rules (even if they are very outdated). Those who are happy to live and let live as long as no harm is done will see the whole person.

What I used to love was the dress up nights on long cruises. Wonderful. Especially when they had a live band playing classical music. It was about the only time I could persuade my husband to wear a bow tie and dinner suit. Phwah, he looked sexy!

Hetty58

Halfpint1, that may be true for some. I feel confident and good - about who I am and what I do. What I wear doesn't change that - apart from the knowledge that some (small minded) folk will judge me by the clothes I'm in!

Well it certainly does me. The minute i'm out of my
pyjamas, I'm a different person, up and ready to go!

The young have different ideas about what is smart. My grandson pays a fortune for white trainers. I laughed when we had a family walk through the fields, he borrowed Granddad’s wellies because his trainers would get dirty. His tee shirt is more like a second skin to show off his physique. In his eyes he is ultra smart.

I`m all for clean comfortable clothing tbh.
Suits me not many people dress up to go out.

Whether consciously or not we all judge people all the time by what they wear Hetty58, including you. There’s lots of research out there that bears this out. I get pleasure from knowing I look my best when I go out, if you don’t that’s fine, your choice, but don’t assume people who do care are small minded.

I like being comfortable. And think it's great these days that we can wear whatever suits us without having to conform.
Fashion was so rigid when I was young; thank goodness for freedom now.

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Oh, I love to see a man in a beautifully cut suit, my lovely sons scrub up really well when necessary.

I lunched in Sky Garden yesterday. One young man really caught my eye in a beautifully cut suit and contrasting polo neck. I mentioned him to my son who said 'yes, but have you seen his foowear? Amazing and seals the deal'. He had black socks and white 'training' shoes. Now, not at all my cup of tea but my son had a few knowledgeable facts for me as to modern fashion and apparently these are currently top of the tree. Have to confess they didn't distract from the Adonis before me but my initial thought was negative although I soon came round. Maybe we need to be more receptive to change? I'm certainly pretty rigid in my smart casual look but might try to reappraise that. Don't quite know how when I'm on a no wardrobe addition trajectory! Yet another challenge!

Halfpint1, that may be true for some. I feel confident and good - about who I am and what I do. What I wear doesn't change that - apart from the knowledge that some (small minded) folk will judge me by the clothes I'm in!

The better dressed I am,even at home, the better I feel. I'm sure there must be a study somewhere to show the effects mentally

I think it's good that we are free to wear exactly what we feel most comfortable in. Apart from parties and weddings, I rarely feel the need to dress up.

I'm never bothered about what other people wear. Why the need to make comparisons?

Thanks, Casdon - just you and me then!
Some people seem to have taken my comment completely the wrong way.

I’ve never been to a West End matinée, or indeed any matinée. I’ve never worn a pastel dress with matching jacket, or a fascinator. I fear I am not as posh as most Gransnetters