Lost confidence in dressing

I have always been hopeless with clothes. For any occasion I simply wear black trousers, pastel shirt and if cold a wool jacket A wedding would present a problem and I probably would decline the invite. I just feel awkward in dressing up.

Callistemon21

MawtheMerrier

And of course you are right-nobody will be looking at me!

If you wear flowery leggings, a mismatched top and a bright fleece with trainers they just might!

???

MawtheMerrier

And of course you are right-nobody will be looking at me!

If you wear flowery leggings, a mismatched top and a bright fleece with trainers they just might!

And of course you are right-nobody will be looking at me!

Disgruntled

I wasn't meaning to be disrespectful or sarcastic, Maw, just that that comment made me feel liberated, took the pressure off, somehow.

I didn’t think that for a moment!

My my mother in law wore the most gorgeous Chanel style fuchsia velvet suit to my father in laws funeral. She looked amazing.

I remember someone turning up for a job interview in a magnificent purple suit - she got the job!

If I have a funeral or just a goodbye party I may request no black. I went right off black when teaching as so many people could only think of black trousers/skirt and jacket or top. BORING! I used to think if I were interviewing candidates for a job I’d pick whoever turned up not in black…….

We went to a funeral a few weeks ago and everyone wore sober colours. The men including the widower, sons and grandsons all wore dark suits, the womean darkish colours and cream or white tops.

The exception was one woman who wore the type of clothes you might wear on a jolly country walk (well, I wouldn't, not at any time!). Flowery leggings, unmatched patterned top, trainers and a bright fleece.
Perhaps she had a special reason for dressing like that or perhaps she'd just popped in because she liked funerals and something to eat.

I asked my cousin's daughter what she wanted for the funeral I a attending on 16th. My cousin was 89 and very traditional so the request was dark or black out of respect. Recently though, including my husband's people have said wear what you want. Colours or black.

Gudrun Sjoden always does it for me. I mostly buy on ebay or Facebook GS only sites.

Does it matter what you wear? As long as you’re there to show respect and not frighten the horses.

If I wanted a funeral I’d insist people wore an outfit reflecting how they think of me, so gardening wellies and gloves or walking gear with a cosy velour dressing gown and jazzy socks, and a dog lead, and cake - lots of cake. Or maybe it would be a witch’s outfit and a broomstick and soap box for pontificating on. And cake.

Oh and it must be a cardboard coffin - I am thinking of getting one now and decorating it myself but as I’m not having a funeral may be I should make a shroud - that’d be good to work on at the craft group!

I wasn't meaning to be disrespectful or sarcastic, Maw, just that that comment made me feel liberated, took the pressure off, somehow.

I have noticed that people often wear neutrals to funerals, ie white, cream, beige, grey and black. They seem to avoid colours.

I've never had confidence in what I wear due to my weight. Yesterday someone said I'd lost so much weight, I replied no just a few pounds. She wouldn't believe it. All I can think is I was wearing dark grey trousers with a pale grey jumper? My favourite outfit from now on!

I'd go for the team jacket with navy or black trousers.

I think I would go with darker trousers rather than cream- you could still wear the lighter coloured top and that lovely scarf.
One of my aunts was pretty disgusted at my father's funeral that none of the immediate family wore black - we wanted it to be more of a celebration of a life well lived than something dour and somber.
But then she was also disgusted with the motorbike and sidecar hearse that carried dad into the crem - totally forgetting that we were honouring his life long love of motor bikes !

I used to wear a lot of scarves and have a huge box full of them.

I struggle with the very long ones as they get too hot and if I just drape them round my neck I am almost tripping over them.

I friend showed me how to do a nice loop in a scarf that was a bit different and not too bulky

Problem is, I never remember how to do it.

Here is how to do it:

www.instyle.com/how-tos/how-to-tie-scarf-gifs

I agree with your last paragraph MawtheMerrier and I think we should dress appropriately for the occasion. But even that is open to interpretation. I think etiquette in dressing helps us to behave in a socially acceptable way. If one wants to gain respect, trust and appreciation from others, one almost has to dress in a way that will appeal, it's a bit like creating an image.
Having said that, clean and tidy is the best starting point whatever anyone wears.

I think you have got your style maw, the scarf is beautiful and the colours you are suggesting all go very well together!

I take great comfort from something Debbo's nanny (allegedly) always said to her, even on her wedding day "No-one will be looking at you, dear".
Hope it goes well, Maw. At least the ground is dry, so you won't be slithering around.

grannyrebel7

I'd choose the black trousers and black jacket for a funeral.

Normally I’d agree with you Grannyrebell but I also think one should take the wishes of the family into account and I’m coming round to the idea of dark blue and cream/beige with just a touch of colour in the scarf.
Most of our generation would feel uncomfortable in bright colours though - life was easier when social norms were more clearcut, weren’t they?

I'd choose the black trousers and black jacket for a funeral.

V3ra

I like scarves to "dress up" and add a splash of colour to a plain top as an alternative to a necklace. They don't break when an inquisitive small child tries to examine them!

they just strangle you instead!

I like scarves to "dress up" and add a splash of colour to a plain top as an alternative to a necklace. They don't break when an inquisitive small child tries to examine them!