How Many Years of Beauty do I Have Left?

RosieandherMaw

Compare and contrast Judi Dench and Donatella Versace

Oh goodness me! That's a hands-down lesson for all of us right there!

Isn't that horrific? It's tragic. And Dame Judi Dench, was always a beauty to me, at any age. Always interesting, always fun, always so engaging.

Thanks for sharing!
Miss Redd

Kate1949

I used to look quite good back in the day. I was the right shape for my teenage years in the 60s - tall, slim, long legs. However, now, at nearly 76, mother nature has been very unkind to me looks wise. I am a physical wreck but doing my best to plod on as best I can

Hi Kate1949,

Ah yes, you sound like you were the ideal of your time! Body-wise, that was always my dream. Instead I am average height and was more hourglass figure. I did lots of dance, cheerleading and swimming, so tended to have thicker legs due to muscles being built.

In the 70's, when the girls in the US were wearing tight jeans and t-shirts, I was not in my physical element! LOL. Too curvy. I think it may have worked now, but most certainly not back then. Even my hair was curvy! LOL, and of course-the girls had that long straight hair, parted down the middle. Ah, I dreamt of it all.

It sounds to me like you've done some very good plodding, if I may say so! Our bodies? Well, there are some things we can do to help them along, and other things will be a genetic fight and some are just out of our grasp.

When I am on my best foot, I tell myself to stay in this day. Right here and right now, since really-that's where we all are, isn't it? Anything else is walking down memory lane or future-tripping.
Miss Redd

Mmc123uk

Franski

I think vitality is beautiful. A woman who is curious, interested in other people, open-minded, compassionate and growing in wisdom. Everything physical fades rapidly. Like others, I was never particularly stunning. It's easier to age without having got used to beauty as currency. I feel for women for whom theur looks were a kind of power.

Absolutely this Franski passion & vitality make people come alive & illuminate their inner selves & that's what I see as beautiful

Luckily I was always considered attractive, never beautiful so it was never I standard I needed to maintain. I can imagine how difficult & sad that might be, looks fade as does our inner energy/presence and I would imagine you could grieve/miss that.

I found that I became less noticed, 'invisible' as I turned 60/61 (64 now) which was something I personally needed to adapt too ... maybe we all have our own struggles!!

As a outdoor bunny, walking/canoeing I was always low maintenence image wise too, so nothing difficult there now either .... I still rarely wear make up apart from lipstick/gloss.

Hiya Mmc123uk,

You make so much sense about having to adapt. We each have somethings we must learn as we age. We can't all be exactly the same, as we all have such differing experiences. But that is what make us all interesting in my books.

In my case, as a younger person/teen, I was given attention for my "looks". When I became a mum at 18 years old, I gained weight and it seemed to stick with me for many decades.

I guess my strange thing was that I was often stopped and told how attractive I was for a "Big girl". Ah, those backhanded compliments, eh?

Back in the 80's I went through a very, very strange time when I was mistaken a few times for Wynonna Judd. LOL! I have to say LOL, because I didn't even know who she was, until someone asked me for her autograph in an airport!

I had lived in Alaska for about a decade, and sort of lost track of "pop culture" there for a bit. But then I moved close to Las Vegas and it was when I went there and airports that this weird thing happened.

Anyway, there came a time when I lost all my excess weight and even then, I had a type of crisis in not even recognising myself. Soooo many changes in life.

This is why I wish so dearly I would have had the gift of parents who really focused on character being the most important thing. Of course they spoke those words, but they modelled otherwise, if you know what I mean.

Thanks for your post!
Miss Redd

Grammaretto

I think it's a shame that some people "actively avoid having their photo taken"
To me that is just another reminder of the self consciousness we, well I, have spent a lifetime trying to rid myself of.

Like Rosieandhermaw I much prefer to see natural aging faces than ones heavily "made up" or "worked on" although if it's what makes them happy then so be it.

Hi Grammaretto,

Good to see you! And yes, I can see many of us can relate to the hiding from the cameras.

It is quite strange how the camera works these days, compared to when we were kids. I mean, they can use "filters" and never show how they truly look. And I do believe many of them don't really even know how they really look anymore.

I can't imagine having the pressures of being a teen girl and all that goes with the changing chemistry, brain and body, and then add to that the internet and all the insanity these girls must now face.

For the simplistic parts of my childhood, I am truly grateful.

Many thanks,
Miss Redd

Franski

I think vitality is beautiful. A woman who is curious, interested in other people, open-minded, compassionate and growing in wisdom. Everything physical fades rapidly. Like others, I was never particularly stunning. It's easier to age without having got used to beauty as currency. I feel for women for whom theur looks were a kind of power.

Thanks so much, Franski,

Your words are both beautiful and powerful to me. I'll be holding onto your thoughts for a very long time.

It is an utter shame and a waste of what is left of our precious years to get "stuck" on a game that can never be won and should never have been given so much credit to begin with.

Thanks again!
Miss Redd

62Granny

I was perhaps lucky never to have considered myself to be a " beauty " but have grown old (67) gracefully and I have been told recently that I have nice skin with few wrinkles and still have my natural dark hair without any colouring. I think beauty comes from within and it is so much nicer to be a nice person rather than someone with good looks. I see ladies who I considered to be good looking in their younger days but as they have aged their looks have diminished and they seem to work harder to maintain that level good looks into their mature years.
I have always worked till just before my 60s ,( I gave up paid employment to look after my DH, who has a long term disability) but it was never at a high level but I always enjoyed it.
I have never been a person who smoked and an moderate drinker but even that has decreased recently to one glass a week.

Hi 62Granny,

I am SO with you on being a good person. In my role as an end of life support person, I have seen such beauty on the faces of those who have been so compassionate and open-hearted. Many have worked so very hard their whole lives and have come to the end of their days. Some have come to the end of their days early, sadly.

In any case, I do believe true beauty radiates from the inside. This is one of the statements I use to work on my own erroneous thoughts on my ageing face and body. I've met those who had the most gorgeous faces, in the ways of bone structure and balance, yet-if they were mean-spirited or lacked the ability to self-reflect, I could not "see" that beauty for very long. How quickly the surface beauty fades on one who has a heart that cannot match the outer layer.

Thanks for your message and I hope your DH is doing well.

Miss Redd

RosieandherMaw

Never considered myself to be a “beauty” preferring to depend on my brains, wits, nous, character so I can’t say it bothers me.
I look at old women with wonderful faces, full of character, personality, lines drawn by life experience and honestly there is no comparison with those who have had “work done”
It’s good not to be judged on one’s looks, so many young women seem to be obsessed with their self image - and hung up about imagined imperfections which they attempt to address with lip enhancements, leading to trout puts, beetle eye brows, Botox, boob jobs hair extensions and goodness knows what else.
They pose and pout for selfies, even employing filters, who are they kidding, themselves? True beauty comes from within.

I totally get what you mean, RosieandherMaw, I'm also drawn to other women's faces and find such beauty in the lines and how they cannot help but tell a story of a life. I wish I were able to transfer that a bit more to myself and I am working on making that a reality, by way of my own self-work on my childhood experiences and educating myself by asking others.

Thanks very much!
Miss Redd

In the immortal word of G&S;

I may very well pass for 45, in the dark with the light behind me.

Let me put it very briefly, with decades upon decades of experience, awards, accolades and certifications, I could not get a job, not even as a customer care admin for 10 pound and hour. My CVs were turned down again and again. I still have the file, there are hundreds.

I'm wondering if the tech world is full of young whiz kids? Young, predominantly male? And possibly chauvinistic and ageist too.

It's not you, it's them.

I feel a bit cheated in that I never looked good in my youth but found myself ageing much better than many in my peer group when I hit my middle years. However, having pretty much shut myself away from the world during the pandemic and then continuing it way past that time, when I did decide to re emerge into the world my always thin hair had all but disappeared and my face (especially my eyes) had dropped to the extent that I could no longer wear the make up that I’d always worn.

I like to be very spiritual and say I don't care what I look like but I do and I put some effort. I've never been a beauty and I'm ageing now so will never be on the cover of Vogue. It matters to me and it matters to my husband that I'm happy so yes, I do spend on hair, nails, make up, clothes. I do mind very much about getting old especially as things are going wrong healthwise for both of us so self care, good food, days out, holidays etc are all part of both of us clinging on to life I suppose.

This reminded me of my lovely Mum.

When she was in her eighties she was peering in a mirror when she said “It must be so much easier getting old if you’ve always been ugly!”

ViceVersa

For me, it's definitely a case of 'what you never had, you never miss'. This is why I actively avoid having my photo taken too.

In a nutshell!
That goes for me too.

However, sometimes photos are unavoidable. When family say "Oh, that's a good one of you" I think good grief, it's awful.

A smiling face is an attractive face generally speaking, as is a natural look.
Too much ‘work’ can look very strange.
Personally speaking I don’t worry about ageing as it’s what happens if you live long enough.

In what situations do you feel unfairly treated and invisible MissRedd? Is it when you don’t get the jobs you’ve applied for?
The IT industry moves so quickly, being out any length of time will mean a lot has moved on, cloud computing, AI and cybersecurity are now the required skills.

The majority of the people my age that I know are neither the most beautiful nor the most intelligent, (though some like to think they are!) The ones who make the greatest impression are those who refine their best features/personality traits and subtly disguise their faults. We can all work at that, whatever age.

I'm 80 years old, I like to wear makeup and have my hair looking nice, and I'd rather see someone with a smile on their face, that someone who has had work done over the years and can't smile because their skin won't stretch anymore

We'll when you lose your hair through alopecia, like me, you're totally stuffed looks wise.

I don't think I've ever been bothered about whether people are beautiful or not. It's always been about who people are.

It is very unfair that beautiful looking people seem to get on better despite not being as talented as someone else who hasn't been bestowed with good looks.
I've found through quite a long life (nearly 80) that the most interesting and often nicest people aren't particularly good looking. I wonder if beautiful people feel they don't have to try very hard?
I think like others that concentrating on health, keeping as fit as you can is more important than than trying to look good.

Grammaretto

I think it's a shame that some people "actively avoid having their photo taken"
To me that is just another reminder of the self consciousness we, well I, have spent a lifetime trying to rid myself of.

Like Rosieandhermaw I much prefer to see natural aging faces than ones heavily "made up" or "worked on" although if it's what makes them happy then so be it.

When you've spent your childhood being told that you're too fat, not pretty enough etc etc (even by your own mother), then that leaves mental scars which remain with you for a lifetime. If self consciousness was a sport, I could win gold medals at the Olympics. My family always joke that if I ever disappeared, there would be no 'missing person' posters, because there are no photos of me.

https://www.gransnet.com/uploads/talk/202506/medium-axdahn-img-2742.png https://www.gransnet.com/uploads/talk/202506/medium-6ytmoa-img-2744.jpeg

Compare and contrast Judi Dench and Donatella Versace

and grateful to still be here.

I used to look quite good back in the day. I was the right shape for my teenage years in the 60s - tall, slim, long legs. However, now, at nearly 76, mother nature has been very unkind to me looks wise. I am a physical wreck but doing my best to plod on as best I can

Franski

I think vitality is beautiful. A woman who is curious, interested in other people, open-minded, compassionate and growing in wisdom. Everything physical fades rapidly. Like others, I was never particularly stunning. It's easier to age without having got used to beauty as currency. I feel for women for whom theur looks were a kind of power.

Absolutely this Franski passion & vitality make people come alive & illuminate their inner selves & that's what I see as beautiful

Luckily I was always considered attractive, never beautiful so it was never I standard I needed to maintain. I can imagine how difficult & sad that might be, looks fade as does our inner energy/presence and I would imagine you could grieve/miss that.

I found that I became less noticed, 'invisible' as I turned 60/61 (64 now) which was something I personally needed to adapt too ... maybe we all have our own struggles!!

As a outdoor bunny, walking/canoeing I was always low maintenence image wise too, so nothing difficult there now either .... I still rarely wear make up apart from lipstick/gloss.

I think it's a shame that some people "actively avoid having their photo taken"
To me that is just another reminder of the self consciousness we, well I, have spent a lifetime trying to rid myself of.

Like Rosieandhermaw I much prefer to see natural aging faces than ones heavily "made up" or "worked on" although if it's what makes them happy then so be it.