Funeral clothes

Anyone remember
Brahn Boots
the Stanley Holloway monologue

As can be expected at my age I have been to quite a lot of funerals lately. There doesn't seem to be any dress code any more which certainly makes life easier. If you know the deceased well that will help you decide what to wear. My son-in-law died at age 36 and had stipulated that he wanted everyone to wear fancy dress and no black at all. Nearly everybody turned up in Christmas jumpers.

Grey is always a good option and quite practical for other occasions too. Grey skirt or trousers with a lighter coloured top ( pale grey, cream or white)………and the trousers would look lovely on other occasions with something really vibrantly coloured.

As Oreo said, sadly there will be other occasions to wear anything you buy for this ceremony, so the items won't go to waste. Just put them aside.
Yes, check to see if there have been suggestions, bright colours, pink.
Sometimes all you need to add to one of your regular outfits is a black scarf/shawl and a black bag.

I think there have been lots of helpful suggestions here.

What is important, really, though, is the being there, rather than the colour of the clothes worn.

I personally wouldn’t do ultra casual (thinking jeans, sweatshirts type of thing), as I just wouldn’t feel comfortable doing that, but I would (and have) worn colours other than black when no black has been stipulated.

As others have said the dress code for funerals seems to have changed in that there isn't one anymore unless expressly stated.
I still feel that in spite of that I want to wear something muted to show respect but each to their own and quite frankly the important people at the service won't care at all what anybody is wearing their minds will be elsehwere. Wear whatever you feel comfortable in wearing.

I personally keep a black skirt and jacket that I only use when attending funeralls and to avoid too many cat hairs on them, I don them just before leaving the house.

If you don't want to wear black, I would suggest you just avoid anything too bright or with a loud pattern.

Pls forgive me if this has been suggested but is there a ‘dress (colour) code’ for the Funeral?
Sadly I have attended a couple of Funerals recently and one notification requested ‘colours’ to be worn.
If you have to wear dark colours out of respect, Vinted is great to buy second hand or check out your local charity shops - you don’t want to splash out if the item/s won’t be worn again (hopefully) …
Sorry for your loss.

I have worked as a Crematorium Chapel Assistant / Administrator at 2 different Crematoria, I was also employed until recently as a Funeral Arranger. I have to say that an enormous amount of funerals today are more about celebrating the life of the deceased, so families are now preferring to dress in brighter colours than in black.
Maybe wear something that you already have at home but pair it with a black jacket / bag / shoes if that would be preferable for you? Or maybe contact the family of the deceased and ask about their dress code for the funeral.
I have overseen funerals where the mourners wore fancy dress, all dressed in the deceased’s favourite football team colours etc. Even my own husband’s funeral was dress as you please, with no formal suits as he was a jeans and t shirt man through and through.

In 2023 at my sister in laws funeral, her request was anything pink! It was amazing how many shades of pink there are, not all bright.
Have you anything purple or lilac. They are acceptable colours

At my cousin’s funeral recently there was a variety of attire. Most of the men wore suits even the younger ones though others looked as if they were about to set off for the beach! Her older sister wore a bright top featuring a large colourful kingfisher because her sister had been a skilled amateur photographer and delighted in kingfishers in particular. So wear whatever you feel comfortable in. It really doesn’t matter.
A friend’s daughter died at the beginning of the year and requested people to wear purple . I wore purple velvet trousers and a zip up purple leisure top. It felt a bit casual but that was OK.

The last wake we attended (as requested there was no funeral) the chap that died had been a supporter of Bath rugby club and Chelsea football club. Both wear a similar blue so that was what he asked for people to wear at "his final party", a very large turnout and nearly everyone did.

Perhaps you could just buy or borrow a dark coloured wrap. Although you will probably have more funerals to attend, I agree with other grans, black is no longer deemed essential.

I would ask if there is a dress code.

If it is something somber, I have a navy silk dress for summer with short sleeves and a dark green long sleeved wool for winter.

I can use them both for other occasions with jewellery or scarves

yes i try to avoid dark as they would be soon covered in a layer of fur!
for mil funeral I wore a black dress with floral pattern it was subtle but quite pretty. I have worn it for other times since. with the pattern it does not show fur!

My late MIL was shocked that a young adult niece wore a red coat to late FIL’s funeral. But it was winter, she probably couldn’t afford to buy another winter coat.
In summer a lot of people won’t have dark clothes either.

I guess as we have got older, going to funerals is more frequent, so having suitably muted colours in our wardrobes is more usual.
The current ‘ trend’ to have a service of celebration after cremation certainly means black will rarely be worn.

I hope family and friends wear bright colours at my funeral, especially purple!

I like the idea posted by Aveline about people wearing a touch of a certain colour.
I may ask for lilac, must remember to put it in writing!

My brothers funeral three weeks ago I wore a black spotty dress somber but stylish. If nit I’d of worn a black pair if trousers and whatever top I wanted. It was a hot day and when I returned to my home for the tea I quickly changed into linen trousers and summer top. No one battened an eyelid.

I don't recall ever wearing black at a funeral. Every time I've attended one I've been invited to wear something cheerful and I think that's just right. Yes, funerals are sad, but it's remembering the good times that we should remember.

I think it’s a good idea to tell people in advance what sort of colours to wear.
Mum went to a funeral of a friend who didn’t want any kind of religious ceremony and did want a Spanish theme.It stumped a few people including her😂 so as many older women there do wear black that’s what she wore to it.

J52

dragonfly46

I went to the funeral on Friday of a friend I had known for over 60 years and we were told to wear bright colours - no black!

I’m going to one next week, bright colours and sparkle have been requested.

At the last one we went to, we were asked to wear something colourful.

It was long ago now, but my mother wore a lovely, cheerful, red and floral dress for my father’s funeral. He had always hated black, particularly on her, so nobody wore it.

Please don’t worry. As others have said if there’s no stipulated dress code anything you feel comfortable in is fine. I’ve worn cream trousers and a brown top, a navy mix dress and a jacket, a light coloured jacket and dark trousers, pink once at the request of the family, grey with pale yellow. I’ve never felt out of place. The bereaved person won’t recall what anyone wore. .

We were asked to wear some pastel colours to a family funeral last year. I think the norm of wearing black is not as usual these days.

I would suggest that if no colour has been stipulated, then something neutral and smart would suffice as already suggested by other posters, rather than going out to buy something that will hardly ever be worn again.

A friend of ours has said she wants people to wear something red when her time comes.

We’ve been to too many funerals in the past few years, and TBH hardly anyone wears black any more. I haven’t seen anyone wearing shocking pink or bright orange, but IMO any reasonably quiet colours are fine.