I have really upset my granddaughter

I'm sorry too, ExD. I hope she comes round soon. x

Bless you all, thank you

I am sorry to read this too ExD, lockdown is bad enough. Big hugs.

I'm sorry to hear that ExD.

Well its kind of blown over, in that the lass has 'unfriended' me and sworn I will never see her children (my great grandchildren) again.
I have found my Activity Log and deleted any mention of the wedding from my Facebook page.
I have also resolved not to enter into a childish spat about nothing at all (the pics were just normal wedding pics). The ball is in her court now.
Lets forget it.

DiscoDancer1975

Was it the granddaughter‘s wedding? I didn’t see that either Toad. Perhaps we’re both just missing something.
Anything else you want to question Doodledog

Excuse me?

If you are referring to my last post, I was quoting (and answering) a question from toadinthehole. No need to be snippy with me.

I don’t think it matters whether anyone here would have been bothered by the photos being posted, or what was in them. The person who took them was upset, and the OP posted to ask how to take them down, not to hear how her granddaughter was wrong to be upset, from people who don’t even know what was in the photos.

I hope it’s all blown over now, and that the OP and her granddaughter are reconciled.

Callistemon

We all make mistakes, we usually try to apologise and out them right and ExD asked for advice on how best to do this.

But no one has to calm down and get over things they are upset about to appease other people

Well, we may have differing views on this.

I would expect an adult granddaughter to have a little understanding that her 80+ grandmother may have made a mistake and help her to put it right and also to explain how not to let it happen in future.

There was no need for any nastiness and I hope both of them are now sorry and have learnt something from this.

I quite agree

if the photos were on her granddaughter’s FB page it’s very easy to right click and save to a laptop.

Oh right, so GD had shared pictured on her FB page and OP then copied and shared. Now I get it. Thanks.

Thank you Callistemon

We all make mistakes, we usually try to apologise and out them right and ExD asked for advice on how best to do this.

But no one has to calm down and get over things they are upset about to appease other people

Well, we may have differing views on this.

I would expect an adult granddaughter to have a little understanding that her 80+ grandmother may have made a mistake and help her to put it right and also to explain how not to let it happen in future.

There was no need for any nastiness and I hope both of them are now sorry and have learnt something from this.

If you send pictures via Facebook messenger you can also add them to your Facebook stories and it is quite easy to do if not careful. This is what would be available for anyone to see for 24 hours then they disappear

DiscoDancer1975

Summerlove

I’m sure she’ll calm down, but it’s life, and she has to learn that. There are far worse things at the moment.

I find this interesting. GD, does not have to calm down and realise there is worse going on.

She feels her boundaries have been crossed. She is allowed to feel upset by this.

Now, I think she’s likely over reacting, but I don’t know the back story.

But no one has to calm down and get over things they are upset about to appease other people

Actually, I assumed OP was talking about a much younger granddaughter, maybe a stroppy teenager, but she has great grandchildren .
Makes me more adamant that she needs to calm down. I didn’t say she wasn’t allowed to be upset...but she’s a grown up, and therefore should make allowances for her grandmother’s mistake.
Boundaries are very flimsy when it comes to social media. Use at your own risk.

It was a mistake that the OPs posted the photos to her Facebook page versus sending as an attachment to a message, but the problem is that she shouldn’t have copied and shared the photos to send anyway. That is not a mistake. That was done on purpose, and I’m imagining that’s what the granddaughter is upset about. In essence, OP stole the photos. That is not a mistake.

Boundaries are no less flimsy on social media just because some choose to see it that way.

If OP wanted to share the photos, she should have asked.

Was it the granddaughter‘s wedding? I didn’t see that either Toad. Perhaps we’re both just missing something.
Anything else you want to question Doodledog

I suggest you go into the privacy settings in Facebook and go through them all and change the settings to me only or friends. Check you have only got friends you actually know and want and unfriend anyone else. You can make a specific list of people allowed to see photos but I think that might be too complicated if you are not used to it. It's a good idea to check privacy settings every few months as they can change. Good luck. Do same with what's App if you have that too.

What on earth was in the photos? The lesson here is to be careful what photographs you have taken.

At a wedding, I'm guessing that the photos were of the, erm, wedding ?

I can understand a bride wanting to release her own photos of the big day herself, not to have someone else put them on Facebook for all to see before she has a chance to do so.

She can't really 'be careful about which photographs are taken' at her own wedding, can she? People will take snaps, particularly in these days of phone cameras, but they won't be the professional ones that the bride may wish to show people first - remember that the number of guests has been limited, too.

In any case, it doesn't matter which of us would be annoyed by it happening. The fact is that the OP's granddaughter is annoyed, and that needs to be respected. The OP has done so, and like others, I hope that the granddaughter has forgiven her.

I do feel for you ExD being a technophobe I could easily do something I shouldn't so don't do FB.

I agree that it's understandable for your GD to be upset but I do think that sending you "a very nasty message" about this is OTT and unacceptable.

You've apologised and are doing your best to sort this out and I agree with the poster who said she should have offered to help you delete them if the posting of them has upset her so much.

I think you're right not to contact her and I hope that when she's calmed down she'll apologise for her message.

I see it as a mistake too. The OP said sorry. What else can she do? What on earth was in the photos? The lesson here is to be careful what photographs you have taken.

As a mistake do you mean Doodledog? No, of course not if they were sorry. I doubt anyone would want to look at them anyway! That’s not why I’m not on Facebook...I’m just not interested in it.

*Actually, I assumed OP was talking about a much younger granddaughter, maybe a stroppy teenager, but she has great grandchildren .
Makes me more adamant that she needs to calm down. I didn’t say she wasn’t allowed to be upset...but she’s a grown up, and therefore should make allowances for her grandmother’s mistake.
Boundaries are very flimsy when it comes to social media. Use at your own risk*

The granddaughter may use social media very responsibly and be aware of the risks, though. The point is that someone else has posted photos of her.

Would you like it if someone posted photos of you on Facebook, Discodancer? There is nothing to stop them from doing so, and if they then become the property of Facebook, they could be sold on or distributed in other ways.

Not being on FB won't protect you from this. All you (and any of us) can do is to rely on people knowing the etiquette that dictates that you do not ever share photos without the consent of the people in them.

As they are now deleted it is unlikely that any harm has been done, but I really think it is unfair to expect the granddaughter to 'calm down' as though she is a child having a tantrum. She does have a right to be upset, although it would be sensible of her to forgive and forget now that the OP understands the reason for her granddaughter's anger.

*ExD, as I’m not Facebook savvy, how could you copy her pictures on your laptop? Did she send them to you? In which case, did she make it clear they were to go no further?
For what it’s worth, I’d be upset too. Hope you can sort it all soon. Maybe just lie low for a while.

Summerlove

*I’m sure she’ll calm down, but it’s life, and she has to learn that. There are far worse things at the moment.*

I find this interesting. GD, does not have to calm down and realise there is worse going on.

She feels her boundaries have been crossed. She is allowed to feel upset by this.

Now, I think she’s likely over reacting, but I don’t know the back story.

But no one has to calm down and get over things they are upset about to appease other people

Actually, I assumed OP was talking about a much younger granddaughter, maybe a stroppy teenager, but she has great grandchildren .
Makes me more adamant that she needs to calm down. I didn’t say she wasn’t allowed to be upset...but she’s a grown up, and therefore should make allowances for her grandmother’s mistake.
Boundaries are very flimsy when it comes to social media. Use at your own risk.

I’m sure she’ll calm down, but it’s life, and she has to learn that. There are far worse things at the moment.

I find this interesting. GD, does not have to calm down and realise there is worse going on.

She feels her boundaries have been crossed. She is allowed to feel upset by this.

Now, I think she’s likely over reacting, but I don’t know the back story.

But no one has to calm down and get over things they are upset about to appease other people

You've apologised and I hope she apologises for being nasty to you and offers some advice on how to use FB safely.

I don’t have Facebook, and have no understanding of how it works. I think this is a side issue though. It’s not so much whether you can / can’t take it down, remove it whatever. The point is, you still made the mistake, and that can’t be undone. Only learnt from for next time.
I’m assuming you’ve apologised to her. It sounds a genuine mistake. We’ve all made them, and your granddaughter has to learn this too. Young people should realise how vulnerable they are on all this social media. Stuff could come back in twenty years time, and bite them on the backside just when they had forgotten it all!
Older people using this technology are bound to make mistakes, just as our parents did with new technology to them, when we were young. The land line is just one example.
I’m sure she’ll calm down, but it’s life, and she has to learn that. There are far worse things at the moment.

Callistemon

If the photos were on your DGD'S FB page, even if her privacy settings are high she may be unaware that:

Facebook's terms of service expressly state that by uploading any kind of content, whether in the form of photos or material, you are automatically assigning copyright control to Facebook. All photos you upload to Facebook therefore become the property of Facebook.

^This means that Facebook can sell copies of photos posted by you without paying you any form of profit. Whenever you share photos with your Facebook friends you are giving up ownership of any intellectual property rights you may own in the photos you upload.^

This is not true. Facebook is allowed to use your content without charge while it remains uploaded to facebook. Once you delete the content that agreement ends. Click the link and scroll down to the permissions you give us, www.facebook.com/legal/terms/update