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People who post on Facebook

(62 Posts)
Nooshboosh Sat 10-Sep-22 12:21:22

Do you think that people who post on FB showing how happy they are in their relationship are really trying to convince themselves and others that they are happy when they may not be? People who put photos of how happy they are, how amazing their partner is, what a fab time they are having, where they have been together, smily selfies of them as a couple, showing the perfect family - is it a cover up of people who feel they have something to prove? I hear that a lot from friends and colleagues but I am not so sure. I think if I was and I was in a fairly new relationship I would want to show it off to my friends. I don't think there is anything wrong with that. I do however know of someone who I suspects posts a lot about her new- ish relationship as a way of letting his estranged wife that they are having a good time, I am friends with both of them. Another good friend posted idyllic pics of her and her husband all the time and then we found out there was violence in the marriage. I felt pretty bad for having joined in conversations with others at work making fun of all she used to put on. I'm sure not everyone who posts a lot pics of their wonderful life with their partner is really unhappy and covering something up. Is it not unfair to take the Mickey out of them if they want to do it?

Lesley60 Sun 09-Oct-22 11:42:07

I’m on Facebook simply to see what’s going on in the community and I also find it helpful to find recommendations for tradesmen etc, I certainly have no interest in looking at peoples plates of food to see what they are having for lunch or their holiday pics

MerylStreep Sun 09-Oct-22 11:41:06

The most I’ve poster on FB was to warn people of the Chinese clothing sites.
They did ban me for a while and in that time I realised that people are going to do what they are going to do, so there wasn’t much point in me trying to warn people.

BlueBelle Sun 09-Oct-22 11:40:49

I m with both you mamaa and Nana8 my son wife and grandkids in NZ although I speak to the mum and dad ( kids grown and flown) every week I d never see any photos if I didn’t use Fb and I enjoy the local news, the gardening, the local deals the buying/selling the history etc etc what’s happening I don’t take a local paper so even the local cinema is on Fb
I use it every day

mamaa Sun 09-Oct-22 11:33:19

nanna8

For me it is absolutely the only contact I have with some family and school friends who live overseas. I never put much personal stuff on because I don’t trust it, just general things about holidays, days out, what we are doing etc. It is good for history,too - lots of very old pics of some of the places where my ancestors lived.

Snap nanna8
This is why I use FB- v rarely post about personal stuff, but enjoy seeing photos of family who are 100's of miles away and historical pics of where I was born and the town where we later moved to and where I grew up.

icanhandthemback Sun 09-Oct-22 10:13:18

Franbern

I do wonder at people putting up posts that advertise that they are away from home (at airports waiting flights for holidays, etc). But that is their choice.

Your insurance company can actually refuse to pay out if you post on Social Media that you are away so you need to be very careful. I think a lot of people don't realise that.

Franbern Sun 09-Oct-22 09:35:14

All my friends on Fb are people who I really know and call friends in real life. I have NEVER posted any picture of a meal of an animal. I enjoy Fb as a way of knowing what my AC are doing. Use the Messenger system as anything I send to them on that 'ping' them - if I send an email, they may not see ir for several days.

I do wonder at people putting up posts that advertise that they are away from home (at airports waiting flights for holidays, etc). But that is their choice.

I belong (on Fb) to several closed groups, and find these extremely useful.

I am pretty mature, both in years and attitude. Like most things, it is not the actual item (fb) that is a problem, but how it is used.

kazzerb Sun 02-Oct-22 17:09:21

I post some meals out, holiday check in or Family gatherings so I have memories coming up over the years. It is for my benefit, no one else's. Each to their own i say.

M0nica Sun 02-Oct-22 16:58:42

My Facebook is set up so that only those listed as friends can see the contents.

I rarely initiate a post, but I do respond to other peoples. Few people among my Facebook friends post anything personal, the occasional one, but not regularly. Mainly they post about their occupations and interests. DH and several others are archaeologists or work in the heritage sector. DS posts about the dig he is directing and anything else in the sector that interests him. DDiL advertises all her gigs, DD posts about elements of her daily life that amuse or enrage her.

I am also on the village Facebook site.

sum1607 Sun 02-Oct-22 16:21:18

Message deleted by Gransnet. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

Casdon Mon 12-Sep-22 07:44:22

dragonfly46

FB is more secure than GN if you have the right settings. Anyone can read what you write on GN and it is surprising how much information some people inadvertently give away. I can choose who reads my posts on FB.

That’s exactly right dragonfly46. You can set up as many groups as you want on Facebook, and only post relevant things to each of those groups, nobody else sees it. There are some great gardening groups I subscribe to, and the local community page provides information I don’t see anywhere else. We also have a family group, I’ve got a large family, and seeing pictures of what we are doing keeps us all in touch. I think some people are scared of Facebook without having explored the potential.

BlueBelle Mon 12-Sep-22 06:57:11

Now my grandkids are all grown and flown in all corners of the world I d probably rarely see a photograph of them if I didn’t go on Fb instead I ve still got my albums (I like actual photographs) to fill up and they love looking at my shelves of albums when they do visit
I ve been on Fb about 14 years maybe more and never had a problem it’s a means of communication and local knowledge even down to the weather wonderful photos of the area
You can buy and sell and a group for every interest under the sun
GSM As you ve told us twice that basically you wouldn’t touch Fb with a barge pole how interesting that you are on this thread ?
And another plus free phone calls to all corners of the earth Talk to my son and wife every Sunday in NZ via FB messenger

Allsorts Mon 12-Sep-22 06:55:08

I don't do Facebook but can understand why a lot do, if they have family they dont get to see too often, they still feel part of things.

Grammaretto Mon 12-Sep-22 06:48:48

That's a good point Dragonfly . It's easy to be lulled into a feeling of cosy camaraderie on GN.
I should adjust my FB settings ?

dragonfly46 Mon 12-Sep-22 06:44:02

FB is more secure than GN if you have the right settings. Anyone can read what you write on GN and it is surprising how much information some people inadvertently give away. I can choose who reads my posts on FB.

Grammaretto Mon 12-Sep-22 06:36:45

Well you can think what you like but I am not jealous of this particular person. I am rather embarrassed on her behalf. Why does she have to post these things?
Eating is something you do in private. If I wanted a restaurant review I could look on trip advisor.
It is very like the round robin Christmas letters which I also loathe
I am on several excellent FB groups, full of information and support not unlike GN.so I won't slam the platform- just the way some people choose to use it.

Barmeyoldbat Sun 11-Sep-22 22:07:21

Same here

icanhandthemback Sun 11-Sep-22 20:52:04

Grammaretto

Barmeyoldbat

I just think people are having a happy time and want to share it

Really? You are much kinder than I am. One poster regularly eats out at expensive restaurants and posts photos of the food.

Really? You are much kinder than I am. One poster regularly eats out at expensive restaurants and posts photos of the food.

And your problem with that is? It's probably a more realistic picture than you seen in the restaurant which has been doctored to make the food look better.

I can't help thinking that some people are just jealous of other people's lives. I look at my friend's photographs and feel happy for them.

AreWeThereYet Sun 11-Sep-22 15:34:53

My profile picture isn't of me - it's something totally anonymous and my profile itself is locked down so anyone just browsing wouldn't be able to find out very much at all
Me too Blondiescot. There's actually nothing on my profile to indicate who I am - even my name is spelled incorrectly and my birthdate is wrong. I use it to keep in touch with people far away, some groups who talk about things I am interested in and goings on in local villages. It's not open on my phone and I only log into it every few days to catch up. Apart from with friends and family I rarely post.

We once saw a whole family in a restaurant taking pictures of their meals to upload - they seemed to find it absolutely hilarious and their meals must have been stone cold by the time they had finished looking at their pictures and viewing FB. I've never understood what it's all about but it kept them happy and we were in stitches watching them so it kept us happy too. Nowt so queer as folk.

Grammaretto Sun 11-Sep-22 14:03:34

Barmeyoldbat

I just think people are having a happy time and want to share it

Really? You are much kinder than I am. One poster regularly eats out at expensive restaurants and posts photos of the food.

Barmeyoldbat Sun 11-Sep-22 12:38:23

I just think people are having a happy time and want to share it

AmberSpyglass Sun 11-Sep-22 11:47:46

I really don’t see how sharing pictures of your holidays or nice meals out is boasting. Surely it’s just all part of normal life?

Barmeyoldbat Sun 11-Sep-22 11:10:34

We have a local page for the town telling you of up and coming events, you can also post stuff you want to give away and several places post food that will be outdated at the end of the day. All good stuff

icanhandthemback Sun 11-Sep-22 10:20:25

Grammaretto

It's become my main means of hearing the local news so is valuable.
There are a couple of posters who make me groan as they publish photos of holidays, meals, graduations, DGC.
I have discovered that I can unfollow these boasters.
I don't know if they are covering up a really sad life but they certainly want to show their lives in public.
I post on WhatsApp groups and hardly ever on FB all my DC have insisted on no photos of their DC yet they and the other GP still post occasionally.

^ There are a couple of posters who make me groan as they publish photos of holidays, meals, graduations, DGC. ^
Or they might be creating their own album for posterity or posting stuff their distant family are interested in even if you aren’t.
I do get fed up with cryptic posts that people are just dying for you to say “What up?” but they are easy to scroll past and you can unfollow people if you need to without deleting or blocking them.

CatsCatsCats Sun 11-Sep-22 10:02:45

I use it, mainly to keep up with family stuff.

I also have some friends on FB. One, though, just couldn't stop boasting - forever saying things like "Just checking in at the airport for our holiday to the Maldives", "Just travelling first class on the train to Cambridge". I felt it was all for my benefit as I'm not at all wealthy, though that may be me being too sensitive. She had to be deleted, though.

Like somebody said above, it's up to us how we use it.

Germanshepherdsmum Sun 11-Sep-22 09:52:30

What an awful experience Yammy. Very frightening. Wild horses wouldn’t drag me onto FB!