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Unsafe to drive?

(117 Posts)
Charleygirl Thu 28-Apr-16 23:00:10

granjura the DVLA is very well aware of my condition. My consultant said I can drive, it is my decision to only drive locally. Why would I not see a child or an animal on a familiar road? It is not your place to tell me that I should not be driving. I do not wish to have an argument about it so this is all I am saying.

granjura Thu 28-Apr-16 21:10:23

Oh yes you can.

Ana Thu 28-Apr-16 20:58:22

You can't just 'have a chat' with a friend's GP, granjura! shock

granjura Thu 28-Apr-16 20:47:57

This is so hard- but you must find a way to talk to him. Or ask to see his GP and have a chat with him or her- and they will make an excuse to send him an appointment for a check-up, and find a way to bring this up.

I am so so sorry Charleygirl- and I am fully aware that you may be upset with me- but your comment really does worry me. Not driving at night is an easy choice- but if your macular degenaration makes you feel uncomfortable to drive on non-familiar roads- but truly really, you should NOT be driving. Even on a familiar road, a child might come from nowhere and cross, or an animal and make you swerve, or something in the road, etc. Has your doctor not told you you have to inform the DVLC? If you drive and have an accident, and your macular degenaration is known in your medical records- and have an accident.... doesn't bear thinking about. I am really sorry.

pompa Thu 28-Apr-16 16:20:54

If you read the DVLA guidelines dementia itself does not preclude one from driving, although eventually it will. But, diagnosed dementia must be notified. So just not knowing where you are going is not necessarily a problem. Without my "Jane" I would never find anywhere.

M0nica Thu 28-Apr-16 16:18:37

The Institute for Advanced Motorists does an assessment test for older drivers. It takes about an hour and is conducted on roads you are familiar with

iamroadsmart.com/courses/mature-driver-assessment

Give him a gift voucher for it or dare him to do it.

Izabella Thu 28-Apr-16 16:12:52

I think this an extremely difficult thing to address, but we all have a moral responsibility to society. Perhaps this thought can help a decision? Have you thought of a group outing using bus passes so the gentleman can see how easy it is then pay for taxis without having the coast of a car? Difficult ......

PRINTMISS Thu 28-Apr-16 16:09:39

I decided when I reached 70 that I had had enough, I never enjoyed driving, but it was a necessity when our son first moved to boarding school. My husband always took over the driving, and was always reliable and could negotiate anywhere. Recently though he prefers me to go with him, and we only go locally to areas he knows, and he admits he has lost his confidence to drive to places which are strange. His macular degeneration in one eye was controlled, but I think it will only be a matter of time before he no longer drives, which will be a shame,because he hates walking and we have to walk to the bus. Sometimes I think perhaps I should have carried on driving, but I was forever cautious and felt I was a danger on the road. I am sure life without the car will be difficult, but we shall have to manage somehow.

middleagespread Thu 28-Apr-16 15:44:22

How many of us know when to stop? Not many I guess.

middleagespread Thu 28-Apr-16 15:43:05

I do hope he can accept our thoughts as friends. We were so grateful when his car failed MOT but then he got it on the road again.

middleagespread Thu 28-Apr-16 15:39:37

He lives in an area with good bus routes and we car share too so I think the conversation is imminent. Thank you

middleagespread Thu 28-Apr-16 15:36:36

You're right and I think as a group we must make a plan. Thank you

Newquay Thu 28-Apr-16 14:22:32

MM. Difficult subject but needs addressing before there's an accident which could injure innocent other road users.
Is there anyone who could have a more serious chat with him? We have driving instructors here who assess folks to see if they're fit to continue driving-would he consider that?
Discuss with him how he can manage without a car eg community transport etc. You will all feel terrible if there's an accident and you had done nothing.

Charleygirl Thu 28-Apr-16 11:54:05

It is very difficult. I can no longer and will not drive in dusk and when it is dark. I also try not to drive on unfamiliar roads because of my macular degeneration. I use my car for convenience, supermarket shopping, GP, dentist etc. I am well aware that my driving days are numbered and already I am already working out bus routes to eg get to GP, dentist etc. when the time comes.

Could you have a chat, with him included, how each of you will cope when you can no longer drive? If he is so reliant he may have to move house.

annsixty Thu 28-Apr-16 11:33:19

I stopped my H driving when we got to the point where he was not able to go anywhere without me to direct him. I simply told him that was the time. He was not happy but the rest of the family were. I appreciate you can't do that with a friend.

grannyactivist Thu 28-Apr-16 11:13:55

I recently had this conversation with my father-in-law who accepts that at some stage he won't be able to continue driving for safety reasons. There is one area locally where driving, even with full faculties, is a bit of a nightmare and my father-in-law has this as his litmus test. When he can no longer drive there and feel confident he will stop driving - he says!!!!

middleagespread Thu 28-Apr-16 11:04:30

I have a dear friend but we only meet as members of the same group. The subject of his driving has been, over the last couple of years , much discussed but not directly with him. As we all car share then it has become apparent that no one will share with this lovely man because of his erratic, sometimes dangerous driving. We all offer to drive and he says he gets it,he understands that no one will drive with him. However last night he came to a meeting and left his car outside, keys in engine running! A neighbour told us. I left before it came to light. We are seriously worried for him and other motorists but what can we do. He lives alone and relies on his car and won't accept our so far 'Joking' comments.