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Holidaying with friends

(49 Posts)
walterwalt Wed 08-Feb-17 16:32:41

Three friends - who have been away together a number of times before - have invited me to join them this summer. It's my only chance of a holiday unless I go alone (I don't want to) and I am very tempted, but I'm also aware that in a group there is opportunity for different expectations to spoil things. I've been away with just one friend at a time twice before. Once was perfect - we were both happy to relax and read and go out to eat in the evenings and it was a delightful and restful break. But last time the person I was with seemed to have very different ideas regarding what makes a good holiday. I tried to compromise as this seemed the fair thing to do but there was ill feeling and our friendship has never recovered. She also quibbled over every penny spent but wouldn't have a kitty for expenses where we could put in the same amount then not worry about it. So I suppose I am nervous after this experience, I don't know how the dynamic will be with four quite different people and also I really value their friendship and don't want to risk it going wrong. I'd love to know if anyone has done this successfully or has any suggestions

Diddy1 Thu 09-Feb-17 22:25:54

I ave two lovely friends who I see once a year, they go on Holiday everywhere together, and get on really well, they have a Kitty for food and things, but use their own money for things they want, it seems to work out very well. I have a friend who we have met a few times while on holiday with our motorhome, we decided to go out for the day to look around the shops, the men went off on their own, and this friend dragged me around all the shops SHE wanted to go to, didnt even ask what I wanted to look at, I didnt say anything, which I should have done of course, but I shall never again go with them, I felt so disappointed, we didnt have time to look at the shops I was looking forward to, we should of course split up and meet again after an hour or so, then split again until when are quite happy, then everyone gets a chance to do their own thing.Good Luck on your Holiday.

Tessa101 Thu 09-Feb-17 23:53:01

I wouldn't put past experience influence your decision. The dynamics of 4 people will work better than 2 as there is bound to be at least 1 person your compatable with. Stop worrying and go and enjoy the break.

Norah Fri 10-Feb-17 01:44:40

Every year 6 of us go on holiday and have a marvelous time. One is captain in charge of the kitty and reservations. We have a lovely time sunning, eating, reading, sightseeing. Each does as they wish, except we eat breakfast and dinner as a group.

Elrel Fri 10-Feb-17 11:35:22

Once went away with a friend who had travelled a lot. We discussed where to go, she booked a different island without reference to me. Towards the end of the the week the company rep on the island, a resilient young local woman, said she didn't know who to feel more sorry for, me or herself!!

Caretaker Fri 10-Feb-17 13:41:36

We went away for a week with so-called friends, they did their own thing and we did ours. He was happy to lay on the hotel bed watching porn all day whilst she lay on a sun lounger. Boreing. We never had anything to do with them since. The best holiday we have is just the two of us.

Ranworth1 Fri 10-Feb-17 16:54:18

A female friend and I (both in our 60s) want to holiday in September or early October, at Lake Garda or similar, in single rooms. We would also like to avoid or reduce the single room supplement if possible! Any suggestions? smile

clementine Fri 10-Feb-17 18:00:11

Have gone away as a couple with other friends and have had great holidays. We agreed right from the outset many years ago, to do as little or as much as we wanted together with no pressure whatsoever. Generally we all did things together as it was mainly city breaks and we enjoyed sight seeing . Sometimes my husband and I would do our own thing, or my friend and I went to the shops leaving the men to do whatever interested them but we had an upsoken agreement that we always ate together in the evenings and split the bill 50/50. There was never a problem working out who ate what and it always balanced it self out.

Ive only had one holiday that wasn't so good, when we went away with my daughter , her husband and children and their in laws. My daughter was trying so hard to impress the inlaws we were basically ignored ! My husband and myself ended up going out and about by ourselves, whilst daughter and inlaws did their thing. We did eat together in the evenings. Have to say her inlaws are the nicest people, it was DD that was the problem !

I would agree with the others, if your three friends have been doing this for a while they will have all the problems ironed out by now and you should take the chance.

Greyduster Sat 11-Feb-17 09:01:21

We only did this once and I would never do it again. We went away with some very good friends that we had spent a lot of time with over the years, but being together for a week it soon became clear that he wanted to control everything we did. We hired a car and he insisted on doing all the driving, even when he was clearly too tired to drive. DH was so fed up after a week with them that it soured our relationship and it took years to get things back on track with them. As others have said, try and find out what their expectations are and let them know what yours are before you decide.

Smileless2012 Sat 11-Feb-17 12:55:33

We've had several great holidays with friends, only one bad one which happened more than a year ago.

I'd explain to your friends that you have some concerns and tell them about your previous experience. They may well be thankful that you've bought it up if they have concerns of their own, but were afraid to mention it.

I hope you decide to go and have a great time.

Marelli Sat 11-Feb-17 13:04:06

Greyduster, that happened to us as well. We were sharing a holiday cottage and as soon as we arrived, the other couple jumped out of the car and raced in. They plonked their bags in the room with the best (sea) view and crowed that they'd got there first! Holiday went downhill from the start!

Luckygirl Sat 11-Feb-17 13:42:15

We used to go on family holidays with a couple we know well and this went well for several years; but in the end I (and the rest of my family) could no longer cope with the behaviour of their child who was spoilt to death. It made life difficult for my children who on the whole behaved well and certainly knew that temper tantrums would not get them what they wanted! They also had an innate sense of fairness and seeing this child being given ALL the peas in the serving dish, or all the blobs of cream off the top of the trifle because he wanted them and shouted blue murder did not sit well with them! And who can blame them.

Huge shame as they were very good friends of hours; but their child-rearing rules were so different from ours.

Araabra Sat 11-Feb-17 19:50:33

With ground rules set, a holiday with friends is lovely. We holiday with friends on cruises, enough space and activities for even the most quibbly person.

bobbrown Mon 25-Aug-25 16:10:14

Message deleted by Gransnet for breaking our forum guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

nogin Mon 25-Aug-25 16:20:15

Reported

David49 Mon 25-Aug-25 16:27:10

It’s easiest on a holiday where most costs are included, All Inclusive, Cruise or Guided tour, I’ve done several group tours, sharing a room might be an issue, it never was a problem for me.

smithjohn Wed 03-Sept-25 12:38:56

Message deleted by Gransnet. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

RosieandherMaw Wed 03-Sept-25 12:40:56

Reported

Astitchintime Wed 03-Sept-25 12:46:33

Take the bull by the horns and talk to them all…….describe your ideal holiday…….mine would be do what I please during the day, if someone else likes that idea then great, otherwise they do their own thing……..and meet up for dinner. Lazing by the pool isn’t for everyone, nor is constant sightseeing. Communicate and get it all in the open.

Sarnia Wed 03-Sept-25 12:53:04

I always read the OP date before answering. Very old post, this one.

keepingquiet Wed 03-Sept-25 12:58:24

I think this must be up there for the oldest post to be resurrected on Facebook, but I do wonder how the holiday went for walterwalt and that they are all still friends!

RosieandherMaw Wed 03-Sept-25 13:19:20

sadsadsad DH was still alive when this thread started, he's been dead for nearly 8 years.

keepingquiet Wed 03-Sept-25 15:43:23

Oh dear that's even more reason not to comment on old threads.

Esmay Thu 09-Oct-25 16:25:15

Going on holiday with friends can be unenjoyable .
It shouldn't be like that .
A couple of my friends always seem to pay less for everything .
Fun to be with but frankly dishonest.
I have another friend who doesn't like spending any money and can exist all day on a packet of crisps .
And another who prefers shopping malls to castles.
I decided that the next time I agree to go on holiday I'll suggest a weekend away first .