Have a ‘safe’ journey

Sorry, Mawbroon, I was dashing out to a friend this morning and wasn't clear! I meant that I agreed with Baggs that people are just trying to be pleasant but I was also tongue-in-cheek about deciding myself to no longer speaking to anyone in case it caused offence.

Bizarrely enough, when I got to my friend's house, she was just saying goodbye to her daughter who was going on holiday and she wished her Dd a safe journey. When she put the phone down, I said 'Apparently, you're not meant to say that anymore.' My friend looked at me as if I was mad.

It annoys me when people say 'smile!' when I'm at work. How silly would I look if I constantly had a silly grin plastered on my face! It also winds me up when I'm most of the way through doing a job and someone takes over thinking they can do it better or faster, then says, 'I'm good, aren't I?' Even though I had already competed the majority of the task by myself.

I am the provider and protector in our house. My family all live in Northern Ireland and my dc are from 10 to 16 yrs old. Very rarely does anyone ever offer me kind words of concern or shows care for my wellbeing or safety so I cherish any words of kindness or positivity from anyone in my life. Even my dh is like one of the chicks in the nest waiting to be waited on had and foot. It's always me who offers the 'take care' and 'safe journeys to people and I genuinely mean it to everyone I say it to.

Honestly if we all start to tip toe around, for fear of causing unintentional offence, no one will ever say anything to anyone in casual conversation. What a dull, cold world that would be, I think I’ll just carry on as I am -I find if it’s said with a smile it usually doesn’t offend too many folk! ducks for cover

I think Baggs was saying the opposite Suedonim
Let’s go on using pleasantries with the intention of being just that pleasant

I agree with you, Baggs! I think I'm going to stop speaking to anyone unless a specific question or answer is required. If we all did that, the world would be a quieter place, though I expect some people would then complain about people being unfriendly and uncaring.

Is the world really as full of grumps and fault finders as Gransnet threads sometimes makes it seem?
Sadly Baggs, it would seem so. But I do hope not.
Instead of GN providing a cheerful meeting place, the equivalent of an “online office water cooler”, or a morning cuppa with friends, sometimes I have to gird my loins before taking the plunge.

Is it an age thing?

Sorry to be pedantic, it's 'drive safely'. Safely is an adverb and safe is an adjective.

Casual, polite phrases, I should say.

Stop treating casual phrases literally!

Sometimes people just say things without thinking or meaning any upset.

Yes, they do, because it is natural and greetings are awkward. You can't start imposing rules about what people say when they are speaking "without meaning any upset".

"How are you?" doesn't mean the person asking wants a detailed answer. It's just another way of saying Good Morning or Hello. It's an opening. The answer can be whatever the person who is asked wants to say, such as, in the case of an ill person: "I'm here to see SoandSo."

Other people don't know what you're feeling unless you tell them so, naturally, they treat you as if you are not suffering grief or illness. What the hell is wrong with just saying something "to be polite"? The word 'polite' is the important bit.

Is the world really as full of grumps and fault finders as Gransnet threads sometimes makes it seem?

When I'd been visiting family up north my sil always asked me to let her know we'd got home safely. I was really touched as my own family never bothered. I suppose they just assumed we would get home alright. It felt like my sil really cared.

When my mum died in 2012 I hated it if anyone casually said "how are you?" in a way that was just a thing they said and didn't want to know the answer. If it was someone who really wanted to know how I was that was ok. But a few years later I was working on reception in a mental health facility and somebody came in who had recently been admitted to hospital. without thinking I asked "how are you?" - just being polite really and they told me off and said "you are just asking to be polite. you don't really, really want to know how I feel do you?" and I had to apologise and I realised that I had done/said the thing to someone that had really upset me a few years before. Sometimes people just say things without thinking or meaning any upset.

Aw, these are all just things people say to fill a silence, some automatic, most kindly meant. I couldn't be irritated by any of them, particularly when uttered by a bright, enthusiastic young thing trying to show a bit of care towards an old biddy.

I feel cross when,asked for my name the assistant will say "fantastic". Why is it fantastic that I know my own name!!
Then they will ask do you know your post code, yes I do , fantastic!

NannalynI could have written your post! I so agree with you about “No problem”! My other pet hate when I enter a shop or a business is “Are you ok?” instead of “May I help you?”!!

When DS or DD are driving somewhere I say ‘Give me a couple of rings or a text when you get there’ One 42 the other 37 both married and living away from home!

Thank you Missdeke that’s exactly what I was trying to say but obviously didn’t word it very well.

I hate it when waiters/waitresses say ‘no problem’ after they’ve asked me what I’d like and I’ve told them. Why would there be a problem?? We’re in a coffee shop and I’ve asked for a coffee. I know it’s a trivial thing but it just feels so meaningless. It would be fine if I’d made some arcane request which they could nevertheless meet. (I realise I’m just being grumpy by the way, and in case you hadn’t guessed, I’m also a pedant when it comes to punctuation ....)

We know someone who always starts her day on Facebook with these words" Hello all you sunbeams out there today the weather will deliver ----" I often feel there are people who dont feel like sunbeams. This gets very boring every day, fortunately I dont follow her but other friends do.

My Husband always says"drive carefully", which I always do. I always say "have a safe journey" when anyone is travelling far, doesnt matter what transport they are using

kaybomba, your saying you knew it was meant in kindness and then moaning about it was what annoyed me.

I always wish my grandkids and kids ‘safe journey’ when they are going anywhere it’s exactly as it’s said I do wish them a safe journey why would I say anything different
If someone says take care or safe journey to me I don’t start catastropizing about the journey I just mentally thank them for caring
I like your ‘forward lash’ Anyone7

I'm with Baggs here. Surely, common courtesy demands we take our leave of others politely and accept the expressions they use when saying good -bye to us in the spirit they were meant?

Admittedly, I nearly bit the head off a shop assistant who wished me a good day on the day my sister was told she had cancer, but fortunately I remembered in time that the shop girl could not possible know that and was trying to be polite.

Baggs. I did say that I knew it was meant in kindness if you read my posting. Anyway I’m off to get my head seen to....wish me a safe journey!