Arguments with companions on holiday.

I've mainly had holidays only with whichever OH, my children when they were young. They were for the most part absolutely fine apart from two with stepdaughter from hell.

I've been very careful about going with friends. A few golfing holidays with my best friend from early childhood and her OH. The men played golf and we just enjoyed each others company whatever we did. With last OH we had two nice trips with good French friends, however he was military so each day was planned like a military manoeuvre and also revolved around the midi (sacred lunch). I was happy to go along with it but wouldn't want to do it too often.

Last holiday with 2nd OH was in Paris with friends which included to an expo at the Musee d'Orsay, at the end of which they all wanted to go back to the hotel for a nap. Sacriledge! I stayed in the musee. The other husband was American, as I was the one who knew Paris and spoke French he treated me like a tour guide and yet again everything revolved around when and where we were going to eat. Our marriage ended soon after that!

Now I am older and on my own I know which friends I am happy to spend time with, either on holiday or staying with each other.

However anything to do with an art gallery is strictly with DS,DDiL, bestie and a gay friend and his cousin.

We took my mil with us on one holiday to majorca. She wandered off miles in front of us in the shopping area. Worried we might loose her I called out to her. She stopped walking and when I caught up with her she said
"If you ever shout my name again I'll smack you in the face"
Needless to say we never ever invited her anywhere again after. She was a very difficult woman rude and obnoxious in shops too.

Holidays with my friend felt as if I had joined the army.
Up at a certain time, lunch dead on 12, then at 4pm it was time to go back to our room and get ready for the evening.

Which was her, declaring that everybody would look at her if she went out in this, or that, and me reassuring her that she didn't look fat.
Happy days!

I always make it quite clear to people I travel with that there are certain things I want to do and am quite happy doing them alone. If they want to lie on a beach all day, fine. I don’t, preferring museums, churches and trips to local places of interest. One half day on a beach is ok and I can do the poolside bit for maybe an hour but I otherwise get bored. Has mostly worked. I did make an exception a few years ago when I treated my (then) single mum daughter and her little one to a lovely fortnight in the Costs Brava. Obviously my granddaughter was the focus of attention. Again after that to Disneyland Paris which I actually enjoyed as I surprised myself by finding the attractions quite fun, so well run too. Best was my trip to Russia where I spent all my time exploring Moscow and St Petersburg, much of it alone. As my long standing interest is Russian culture and history it was sheer bliss!

RosiesMaw

Frenchgalinspain

We have NEVER encountered such uglyness !!!!!!!!!!!

What ugliness?
Ugly cities, ugly buildings, ugly surroundings????

Read her previous post which is what she is referring to

No one, except my hubby. Had three, separate holidays with friends when I younger & all them a disaster. 1st friend turned out to be a heavy drinker & turned very argumentative, 2nd friend met a married fella & came back 7am, every morning, 3rd friend wanted to drink &sunbathe 8-8 every day, the site seeing trips never happened. I might as well have gone on holiday on my own😩

I am probably one of those people who would be irritating on holiday. I get flustered easily, particularly about flights, and tend to end up relying on other people to keep calm and sort things out. I can see that it would be very annoying for a travel companion.

I went on a celebration break with my friend. All the other members of the group were friends of hers or work colleagues. I felt very uncomfortable and was glad to get home. It was nice of her to ask me but I would steer clear of going with a group again because I am not very confident amongst groups of people I don't know, and may well be seen as a bit stand-offish or a wet week.

One of my most treasured holidays was with my husband, daughter and grandson. My daughter and I sometimes had a rather strained relationship but that holiday was just so perfect, to the extent that I was not looking forward to going home (which I usually am).

My mum accompanied my husband and I on several holidays abroad and at home, and it was invariably quite difficult. She tended to get obsessed about buying a particular item of clothing, accessory or bag and we would have to trail round shops looking for them. My husband seethed inwardly and, on reflection, I can see that it was more difficult for him than me.

Another holiday with friends was not a great success. They did not want to put the air conditioning on in the car, to save the expense and they constantly referred to the cheapness of other destinations they had travelled to, compared to the one we were at. We are still friends but are not so close as previously.

I enjoy going on holiday with my husband, and we get on better then than when we are at home. I don't think I would be a good travel companion for anyone else.

I’ve been on holiday with a friend several times and only once did we have even the smallest amount of friction - we went in her car, I offered to go on her insurance so we could share the driving, she refused but on the way home was tired and annoyed that I couldn’t share the driving! We’ve been since and all has been well.
DH and I go most years with two friends in separate accommodation. DH gets a bit fed-up as they “faff” about (but he’s just as bad 😂) but all in all it works and we enjoy it. Just needs a bit of give and take …

Maw Frenchgal is referring to falling out with holiday companions.

I don’t mind holidays with friends but then I’m very laid back and easygoing. When we’ve done holidays with other couples , we as a group make it clear that it’s ok to do things on your own as well as with the other couples.
We’ve done the same with holidays with our AC and partners .
That said , I do prefer holidays with just my DH as we have complete freedom to do whatever we want .

Felt out with a friend on holiday last year. We had happily travel together for years but after we went our separate ways I realised I was much happier going alone and doing my own thing.
The only problem is people feeling sorry for the lone woman! I need a sticker to say i am quite happy with my own company thank you.

Over the years have done a lot of travelling and living abroad with family, or alone etc. Now a widow living alone, I am happy to travel on my own but also have done some holidays with friend and with a friendly neighbour. Had several very successful trips with one lady who also lived alone, but we talked and organised it before hand. It always costs so much more to travel alone that we have gone on trips and shared a room. This way we get better accommodation and cheaper. We agree before hand that we will do our own thing and have quite different things we enjoy, so we go off to whatever pleases ourselves and have a couple of dinners and coffees with each other and it works out well. I think that having a basic plan like that means you know how you are going to spend the time , so long as you are honest about what you want to do. But I do enjoy travelling alone, doing as I please and also often meet someone on the trip who is interested in the same things. Also there is the benefit that on your own you can go off on a whim, not having to make long term plans.

I’m sure I have read your holiday tales before biglouis?

Oh dear Biglouis , I can definitely identify with your experience .
A friend of 20plus years & I planned a trip a bit further afield than Paris . To New York a first trip for us both ,this was pre 9-11 she then said her Sister & Sister in law would both like to come . I had previously met her Sister at family parties etc & was fine with that . Four of us , I don’t know how but I got to share a room with the SIL , though it was fine we got on .
All was good on the way out & for the first day .then my Friend & her Sister had a mighty falling out . So bad that the Sister refused to share a room & then shared with me , it then became my job to placate her , she was in tears , completely broken .
It spoilt the holiday not only for her but for me as well & my friend didn’t even speak to me about it . The rest of our 4/5 days was spent with myself & distraught sister together.
On the way home , myself & my friend were offered an extra night to stay in NYC at the airport, hotel & money if we took the next days flight .
Me being me was all up for this , unfortunately my friend chose not to accept with talk of car park expense etc .
Even now it still rankles .she never apologised either about the fall out .
Though , when I now look back there were plenty of instances where I can see she is self centred.
Fast forward , I invited her to my Wedding in 2011 , we had been friends since 1977 when we both moved to the same area & are daughters started school together . After the Wedding , she become a bit off , putting birthday card through my door not stopping not answering my call to say , oh I’m home etc .
Now , we just don’t see each other at all - so much history - gone .
I think she was annoyed re the wedding as I didn’t invite a “plus one “ in hindsight I should have , I invited her to the whole day & between us we have a big family . I even left out a couple of my sisters from the wedding . I think she had the hump over that & hasn’t got over it .
Oh well her loss 🤣

The second time I went to Iran (1990s) I had to go on a group visa because they did not give individual ones. So I had to travel out and back with them. I abandoned them in Isfahan and stayed on there for 3 more days. It turned out none of them had been to Iran before and were desperately worried that I was going to "get myself arrested" or some dire thing was going to happen to me. Iranians are very hospitable and so long as you follow the dress code and dont criticise the government nothing is going to happen. The worst is that the room boy might knock on your door when you ask for room service in the hope of seeing you without a headscarf. I just told him to leave it on the floor outside.

Ive had a few minor adventures in countries where the rooms are cleaned by young men who can get a bit frisky with solo female guests. In an old fashioned hotel with keys I just half turn the key in the lock so even someone with a pass key cant get it open. And I never travel without my handy rubber door wedge which will prevent even someone with an electronic key card from getting in. Oh and I always unplug the phone when I go to sleep.

Frenchgalinspain

We have NEVER encountered such uglyness !!!!!!!!!!!

What ugliness?
Ugly cities, ugly buildings, ugly surroundings????

Went away for a coach trip with a work colleague and dear me she wanted me to carry her suitcase for her, make the tea in the morning in the room, couldn't possibly walk along the castle walls and so I could carry on. Fetch me, carry me type my mother would have said! Never went away with her again and dropped contact when I left the Company we worked for.

I thought the same and travellers cheques from.....1970's???? Who uses travellers cheques these days?

A few years ago I went on my own to Gran Canaria. On the bus going to the hotel I got chatting to a lady who seemed very friendly and, small world, lived only a few miles from me. We were staying at the same hotel with our rooms on the same floor. We got on very well over the course of the week and agreed we would book another holiday together. This time we went to Ibiza, most of the holiday it was great, but there were one of two little “issues”, nothing serious. The following year we decided to go to Majorca. I had stayed at the hotel previously and thought it would be a good choice for us both, but for some reason, my “friend” seemed to find fault in almost everything, the food, the wine, even the male holidaymakers at the hotel!! One night she got very drunk and was bad mouthing other guest and the entertainment (it was pretty bad!) The following day she had a terrible hangover and just wanted to sit at the hotel while she recovered. It was our last day and I was hoping to make the most of it, so I insisted we went to a local market. With hindsight, I should’ve gone on my own. After we arrived back in the U.K., we didn’t contact each other any more!

Another time, I befriended a lady on a Just You holiday. We got on very well and so I was pleased to meet up with her the following year, but it was not the same, she seemed to resent me talking to others in our group, she became rather controlling, telling me what I should and shouldn’t be doing, wearing, etc. I couldn’t believe how she had turned out, so after the holiday we didn’t contact each other again! I am now very wary of going away with friends, in case things go pear-shaped and it ruins our friendship!

Patsee one of my friends has joined a "bereavement walks" group. She has made a close supportive friendship with another lady there and they have had two short breaks away together now.

Maybe there is an "older" singles group or a bereavement group you might benefit from - whether you holiday together or not.

The other thing that I think must be easier is an activity holiday - a cooking, art, or archeology holiday for example. Maybe that might be easier?

Thinking of you.

I’ve only ever holidayed with hubby. If I was alone I’d be at home couldn’t imagine holidaying with others. Maybe I’m a little anti social or just a homebody!

I'm afraid I have not been able to go on holiday since I lost my partner and cant really go anywhere on my own socially. Bit pathetic but that's the way it is. Not at all comfortable with only my own company and thoughts. Been fighting it but just feel
isolated on my own.

If I’ve ever gone with friends on holiday, it’s always been discussed before that we may not always want to do the same things so we make a pact that if someone doesn’t want to do something, they can do their own thing. I’ve had a particular restaurant in mind at certain times and would say they were welcome to join me but I won’t be offended if they go off elsewhere. One particular husband of a friend wanted to have a long leisurely lunch with a drink and was happy to off whilst I was happy belly the pool reading. We had several meals on the evening together but nothing set in stone. You just have to agree beforehand what the expectations are.

@GrammarGrandma
It's still a funny story, though.

@Astitchintime
Sometimes it's fairly clear why certain people stay single, isn't it!