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Arguments with companions on holiday.

(85 Posts)
biglouis Sun 12-May-24 13:24:24

Ever had a holiday with friend/s which ended in a row?

A work friend and I decided to go to Paris. When I warned her I would be going off on my own some (her first trip to Paris) Workfriend proposed bringing another friend, who also wanted to bring a friend. All good, two couples and two rooms booked. Well as the only one who spoke French and having visited the city multiple times I found myself doing all the translating, organizing and so on. The three of them followed me around like little pet lambs. I was beginning to feel like an unpaid tour guide. And they couldn’t even agree on which restaurant to eat in. One was a veggie and wanted every menu translating. Eventually I went into a restaurant alone and told them to make their own arrangements. On day 3 I announced I was going off on my own into the flea market and they could make their own way to Notre Dame and all the other tourist attractions they wanted to see. Surely 3 adults can manage in Paris. Its not Outer Mongolia.

Unfortunately friend of friend left a bag with her passport, cash and travel cheques (1970s) on the floor under the table and it was gone when they returned. Long frustrating trip to local police for report (We could have done with your help we don’t speak French) and by the time the translator arrived it was too late to go to the British Embassy for a replacement passport. When I got back to the hotel late evening I was confronted by three hostile companions who made out how it was my fault for “abandoning” them. Next morning there was more bickering because I would not accompany them to the British Embassy to apply for the replacement passport. “We don’t speak French” “Well be prepared for lots of waiting around, form filling and queuing. But Ive got some good news for you. They speak English in the British Embassy so you don’t need me to babysit you”

We sat on separate seats on the train back to Calais.

That was when I decided to begin travelling alone.

henetha Sun 12-May-24 13:32:52

My first ever visit to Paris with a friend was ruined by the fact that she searched every shop for a particular pair of red stiletto heeled shoes .
Tedious in the extreme!
Another holiday years later with an emotional friend who even cried because I ate curry one day and she apparently hated the smell. Etc.
Tears almost every day over trivialities.
Never again. Unless I can go with close family I'd rather go alone.

JaneJudge Sun 12-May-24 13:47:07

I would never holiday with friends, if that helps. I am quite anti social and don;t like organised holidays, prefer to just relax and take it as it comes. I guess it isn;t everyone's cup of tea so I may as well just be alone or with my family.

Gymstagran Sun 12-May-24 13:48:35

I too prefer to travel alone, especially on.long haul trips. I've seen may friends fall out on holiday and I feel restricted in what I want to do if I have to accommodate others. The exception is when I travel abroad with my son for him to run marathons. We each decide what we want to do and see on the days he isn't running. So far has worked out well.

Kim19 Sun 12-May-24 13:59:54

Oh I much prefer to travel with a friend. Now, I mean friend and not acquaintance. Quite happy on my own but a special someone to share with ices my cake.

Jaxjacky Sun 12-May-24 14:45:33

We’ve holidayed with various friends four or five times with no problems.

TwiceAsNice Sun 12-May-24 15:22:04

Have holidayed often with best friend of 62 years never a problem we have never had a row over anything .

Been on holiday with family and mutual friends all together, this needed more compromise, some things together some things separate or on smaller groups but mostly still ok.

I think the grown ups in the posters group weren’t really adults were they more like tedious small children !

biglouis Sun 12-May-24 15:30:38

My first ever visit to Paris with a friend was ruined by the fact that she searched every shop for a particular pair of red stiletto heeled shoes

My first visit to Paris was with another friend who was searching every shop for a certain coat by Ted Lapidus. She had seen it in London but they didnt have the colour she wanted. However this friend was pretty independent, spoke French, and was happy for us to split up some of the time to do our own thing. She was into clothes shopping and I was into antiques so we tended to just meet up in the evening. But we did do some of the tourist places together. No-one has ever suceeded in getting me up the tower.

fancythat Sun 12-May-24 15:30:59

No rows.
And havent been on holiday with them recently.

But a group of us know each other well enough, that we know each others' foibles. And know what to expect.

Having said that, I dont like holidays that are any more than 7 days. With anyone really.

MissAdventure Sun 12-May-24 15:33:42

No rows, but I have felt like strangling a few people.

V3ra Sun 12-May-24 15:42:46

My first ever visit to Paris with a friend was ruined by the fact that she searched every shop for a particular pair of red stiletto heeled shoes

We often took my mother-in-law on holiday with no problems.
However one year she was joining the ladies group that requires its members to have a red hat, and she expected all of us to trail round every shop that sold hats in the seaside town we were in.
Needless to say they were largely straw sun hats and none of them red 🙄
Eventually we had to tell her she was looking for something that didn't exist, and we weren't prepared to spend any more time on her search.

sodapop Sun 12-May-24 15:46:26

Deja vu, have I read this post before ?

Rockyroad Sun 12-May-24 15:54:52

sodapop

Deja vu, have I read this post before ?

Yes, I was thinking that as well.

Astitchintime Sun 12-May-24 16:05:37

I went on a singles holiday once some years ago. All was going well to begin with, we are allocated a large table in the dining room so nobody was left out and there was a few organised excursions. The problem started when we had free time, I was quite happy to wander around on my own, browse shops, look at the architecture, relax in a cafe or restaurant, I'm sure you get my drift.
However, one person in particular would latch onto some unsuspecting individual and just completely change things; she didn't think it was right for anyone to sit alone in a cafe, look at the shops etc...........things simply HAD to be done HER way! "Oh, we can't possibly have lunch here, we don't want to look at that church, we aren't going in that museum", her overbearing behaviour was exhausting! And it wasn't just me who was subjected to her special treatment, she did the same thing with several others, even some of the men. I think many of us were glad when we flew home.

Curtaintwitcher Sun 12-May-24 16:18:56

This shows up the fact that some people cannot function on their own, but need someone to cling to. It isn't just on holidays that this situation occurs.

Frenchgalinspain Sun 12-May-24 16:20:29

It could work out quite well, if you know the friend well.
However, it could be disasterous when you do not know a friend´s friends ..

Taking advantage of someone´s language skills could become stressful. The way to prevent that from happening is to go on an English speaking tour recommended by the Hotel and researched & booked prior to travelling.

I have never travelled with 3 Ladies.

I travel with my husband or one or both of my twin daughters and we have encountered such uglyness !!

Sorry you experienced this.

Frenchgalinspain Sun 12-May-24 16:21:52

We have NEVER encountered such uglyness !!!!!!!!!!!

Polar22 Sun 12-May-24 16:29:52

I holidayed with a close friend. She got very ratty and snapped that she wanted to go off on her own. Fair enough I wasn’t bothered. Good plan actually as we wanted to do different things. I had a great day. Just couldn’t understand why instead of getting ratty she didn’t just say 🤷‍♀️. We’ve since stopped being friends because she can’t be honest and straightforward. 🤷‍♀️ her loss.

grannysyb Sun 12-May-24 16:59:45

We are thinking of going to Venice later on this year with an old school friend of DH and his wife. As we have there before we have said that each couple will do their own thing in the day, and meet up in the evening for dinner.

TerriBull Sun 12-May-24 17:21:23

When I went on holidays with my closest girlfriends, aged 18/19/20ish, Italy and Spain, we did sometimes jostle each other for mirror space when we were doing our make up, a somewhat involved process back then. I'd say we'd get a bit irritated with each other, but not a fall out, well we're still all friends 50 years or so later.

I've had some good holidays with one of them and her husband when all our children were young and then just the four of us when we were free of children. No I can't think of a falling out I'm pleased to say.

zakouma66 Sun 12-May-24 17:29:49

Frenchgalinspain

We have NEVER encountered such uglyness !!!!!!!!!!!

Care to expand? ( not literally obviously)

Katie590 Sun 12-May-24 17:38:37

We did go on holiday with another couple who spent the whole time bickering - with each other!, deliberately baiting the other it got really irritating.

GrannyGravy13 Sun 12-May-24 18:05:28

We have taken so many holidays with friends their children, and several times we have taken parents along, three generations no stressful days or rows.

I have been on holiday with just a friend, whilst the husbands had the children on several occasions, no problems.

We have just come back from an Easter break, 19 family members from 70’s to 4 yr olds, no arguments as we know each other inside out

Perhaps I am just easy going.

1summer Sun 12-May-24 18:38:53

Last year after being recently widowed my sister in law suggested we went away together for a week.
It was a nightmare, I had to choose and book where we stayed and flights including assisted travel for her as she was waiting for a knee replacement. At the airport she was put in a wheelchair I had to manage both cases, then she sat in her wheelchair while I queued for food, then fetched her a magazine and water from the shop ( she can walk ok but because she had assisted travel didn’t like to).
At the resort she moaned to me about walking up a slight hill and a flight of steps to accommodation even though I had told her.
In restaurants and bars she always told me what she wanted and I had to order then organise bill and paying, we had a kitty each day for spending and I had to look after and manage it.
We were self catering and I had to do shopping while she rested on our balcony as she couldn’t manage the bags and walking up hill and steps.
The final straw was she chose the double room with large patio doors onto balcony and I had the small single at the back which had a window that opened onto outside stairs, she doesn’t like air con and had the patio doors open with a lovely sea breeze. I was nervous with stairs being outside so sweltered in my room.
I felt like her carer instead of friends on holiday. We didn’t argue though I frequently had to bite my tongue.
But it made me realise after over 40 years travelling with my husband or with my son or daughter I am not ready to travel with other people.

biglouis Mon 13-May-24 01:24:02

I think the poster who said that some people are not really comfortable with their own company is correct. It you spend years as part of a partnership or family unit then you may feel incomplete without the other person/people around. Being a single means that you have to be a much stronger and more resillient person. You have to be able to entertain yourself and be comfortable with your inner thoughts.

One consolation of travelling with another person is that you have someone to eat with in the evening. Its also someone to share the responsibility if you need to leave the luggage to go to the loo, or queue etc. However I dont like the compromises I have had to make with other people in tow. I like to spend time wandering or just sitting people watching. Usually I do so much in the day that come evening I am quite happy to just have room service so I dont have to bother going out again. Or I bring back a snack to the hotel.