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Travelling solo in a group and avoiding people who want to be your new best friend

(54 Posts)
Cambsnan Wed 10-Sept-25 17:23:11

I love to travel and sometime find it easier to go an organised group trip. Not a solos holiday, just a group but I often find myself sitting next to another singleton who then want to hang on to me and go everywhere I am going. How do I discourage this without being rude? I am fit and a fast walker and have often planned my days but find someone with limited mobility wants to tag along. I am happy to do some things or go out together for dinner but I love doing my own thing!

MayBee70 Wed 10-Sept-25 17:25:10

Pretend to have a hearing problem and you’ve forgotten to bring your hearing aid with you?

sparkynan Wed 10-Sept-25 17:26:17

Sometimes I think you just have to be blunt, tell them nice chatting but I’m walking ahead now to get my steps in. See you later.

Lathyrus3 Wed 10-Sept-25 17:43:53

It is a problem. I don’t think I’ve cracked it so my advice is limited.

I do say, “I can’t walk slowly, it makes my back ache.” Which is true. And then just go ahead. Which works if it’s a walking/site seeing holiday, but not if it’s something where you want to linger, like a garden or museum.

Dinner, evenings are sometimes very difficult, with the new buddy waiting for you unasked outside the restaurant or in the lobby. I haven’t managed to deal with that one at all.

Sorry. Not much help, but definitely understanding 🙂

Lathyrus3 Wed 10-Sept-25 17:44:23

sightseeing😳

Maremia Wed 10-Sept-25 18:53:44

Try 'Great chat. Catch you later.'

Sago Wed 10-Sept-25 19:31:54

Try good old fashioned honesty.

I like to explore alone but would appreciate some good company over dinner/drinks.

FriedGreenTomatoes2 Wed 10-Sept-25 19:41:47

“Oh no! Not you again!”

(Only joking of course 😂)

pably15 Wed 10-Sept-25 19:50:48

sometimes you have to be honest. after all it's your holiday.

CanadianGran Wed 10-Sept-25 21:12:06

Yes, you need to be brave and honest. I appreciate the offer, but prefer to explore on my own. Happy to meet for drinks to catch up on how your day goes!

Astitchintime Wed 10-Sept-25 21:14:15

sparkynan

Sometimes I think you just have to be blunt, tell them nice chatting but I’m walking ahead now to get my steps in. See you later.

This
Great response

Cambsnan Thu 11-Sept-25 05:52:22

Good tips. Thank you. I will try to be more blunt next time

Role Thu 11-Sept-25 13:52:05

FriedGreenTomatoes2

“Oh no! Not you again!”

(Only joking of course 😂)

I think this is upsetting to hear. Just a straightforward pleasant remark like those suggested above will do.

Cath9 Thu 11-Sept-25 14:05:37

Only an idea.
What if she or he say,
I am going to visit this or that place, you could just slowly go off to another area on your own

woodenspoon Thu 11-Sept-25 14:09:36

A tricky situation but one where you could say you’re on holiday to get a bit of space from things and you need time on your own to reflect. That lets them down gently.

Shel1951 Thu 11-Sept-25 14:15:24

Sago's advice is the best, simple honest

Chocolatenoodle8 Thu 11-Sept-25 14:18:06

We enjoy going on holidays. During our last holiday a single lady was determined to attach herself to us. She was a chain smoker which didn’t help. We did try to avoid her but failed so decided to get to know her. She was interesting and we came to enjoy her company

FranA Thu 11-Sept-25 14:18:12

I had this once. I ended up having to totally ignore the individual as nothing else worked.

Babs03 Thu 11-Sept-25 14:19:14

Yep, try a breezy brush off ‘just off to blow away the cobwebs, am a bit of a solitary walker, but would love to catch up over dinner later’.
Don’t just put up with it. A solo traveller isn’t always searching for friends but some might make that assumption, best to put them right from the get go.

Gilly1952 Thu 11-Sept-25 17:09:23

What about the males that presume because you are female on holiday on your own, it’s ok for them to pester you?

Thisismyname1953 Thu 11-Sept-25 18:42:14

I am totally anti-social so would never go on this type of holiday . Several years ago I went on a package holiday to an all inclusive holiday in Turkey on my own . I was there for a week and other the barman to request my vodka and coke of an evening I only spoke to one person .
I was reading my kindle paperwhite on my sunloungers and a German gentleman asked me about it . I answered him and he went away happy . I couldn’t go on a coach trip holiday where I would be expected to sit with someone and talk to them . No thanks .

aggie Thu 11-Sept-25 19:04:19

Oh dear , I’m that single woman on a coach trip !
Once you have to sit with me on the coach , you fate I sealed ,
I’m oblivious to hints , I see you scuttle behind the palm tree in the dining room , I pounce on you with glee and talk all though dinner
Mornings are a fun game of hide and seek , I see you lurking behind the toast machine , I love toast !
And so it goes on !
I might take pity on you and decide to head out on my own , you have an attack of pity and call after me , but you deserve a day off and I sail off and get lost !
I turn up in time for dinner and sit with the unfortunate who found me and took me in hand !
I’ve decided not to go on holiday ever again 😉

NannyC1 Thu 11-Sept-25 19:13:00

Role
omg FGT was joking.
I was on a touring holiday in Spain. The tour leader put another single woman next to me on the coach and said "ok now remember your seats from now on" No not for me sorry. I like my peace!

WithNobsOnIt Thu 11-Sept-25 19:46:03

Go on all holidays by myself. Friends died off, moved away or busy with their families.

Package holidays with well known operators at decent usually Adult Only hotels.

Would not do coach or cruise holidays where you can't get away from people.

Just do small talk at the beginning of the hol with people who speak to me first. Then maybe say. Yes, Must have a coffee later on the holiday when you have time

I don't go on holiday to meet people
but a lot of people can be OK, relaxed and friendly and good company in small doses.

Happy Hols Folks

✈️🏝️🏖️💃😻👍
Xxx

Cabbie21 Thu 11-Sept-25 20:03:40

I have been on three coach holidays on my own.
The first one, I had a double seat to myself. The two ladies behind me invited me to join them at dinner, which I appreciated, but otherwise I was( happily) on my own.
The second one, I was seated next to a rather large gentleman, not very chatty, and no expectation of spending time together. At the end he thanked me for my company on the journeys.
The third one, I was seated next to a lady. We got on extremely well and stuck together happily for most of the holiday, as we had interests and ideas in common.