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Booked a coach holiday alone. Have anxiety disorder.

(64 Posts)
Desdemona Tue 16-Sept-25 13:38:56

I have struggled with anxiety all my life. When I was married I holidayed with my partner and children. Then after with my children.

Now my children are wanting to do their own thing (and I am a total socialphobe) I thought if I was to go anywhere at all I would have to branch out alone. So I have booked a coach holiday today by myself.

And now I feel sick. Please give me advice on how to navigate this trip alone.

keepingquiet Tue 16-Sept-25 22:14:20

After my dad passed away my mum took herself off on a coach tour of Europe. She was in her mid-sixties.
She thoroughly enjoyed herself and loved meeting new people.
Some of the people she met were friends for life and they kept in touch for years sending Christmas cards etc right up until she passed away in her 90s.

Go, have a wonderful time!

GoodAfternoonTea Wed 17-Sept-25 08:10:29

Please enjoy your holiday. I really can understand how you feel as I am very similar brought on by IBS. If you plan well, and take small steps each day, you will really enjoy it. How about keeping a log of what you do and take photos so you have a record to concentrate on similar to a companion. I was told by my counsellor to keep a daily diary which has helped me anchor. Perhaps tell us about it when you get back. We'd love to hear what you enjoyed.

Cabbie21 Wed 17-Sept-25 09:11:18

I have done three solo coach trips since my husband died.
The first step is sitting next to a stranger on the coach. I have been lucky. The first time, I had a seat to myself, but the two ladies behind me invited me to sit with them at dinner, which I really appreciated. On outings I did my own thing, which was fine.
The second time, I was next to a fairly large man, but I had the aisle seat, so was not-too squashed. He wasn’t overly talkative, and we had no other contact throughout the day, so it was fine. At the end, he shook hands and in a slightly quaint way, he thanked me for my company on the journeys.
The third time, the lady I sat next to was a widow too. We got on extremely well, and stayed together for the rest of the week as we both wanted to do the same things.
So try not to worry. It will be fine. Enjoy your trip.

HS62 Wed 17-Sept-25 13:51:59

I'm sure there will be others there that are exactly the same. I am like you antisocial and shy. I have to force myself out there and have had anxiety since a toddler I'm 64 now. It's very hard. You have to be very brave. If you start chatting, explain you are socially awkward. At heart, people are kind in general. If they have nothing more to do with you, they did you a favour. But try to enjoy it. Love xx

amazonia Wed 17-Sept-25 13:58:07

Much to my surprise, my rather anti social dad has been on several coach trips over the last year. My mother died 5 years ago and she was always the driving force for holidays and socialising.
My dad has enjoyed his his coach trips very much. There are always lots of single people and he usually finds a nice lady friend to spend some time with!!
I'm sure you will have a lovely time.

jocork Wed 17-Sept-25 14:03:06

I've been considering a coach tour on my own but yet to actually do it. I've been on a couple of tours when I was married, but many years ago. We found the other tour participants friendly, and in Greece, a group of us went out to a local taverna together after the evening meal more than once. In Israel we spent a lot of time with two travellers who were both alone, one Brazilian and the other German. We even kept in touch with the German guy afterwards for a while. There were people who kept themselves to themselves too so it is OK to do your own thing. The tours we did included breakfast and evening meals and guides for the visits we went on. I think we had to get our own lunches but I don't really remember as it's many years ago. There was no requirement to dress up particularly for dinner, but both were in warm countries so went for cool comfort.
A friend of mine does lots of short tours in the UK and that is what gave me the idea. She also goes on cruises alone but I'm not sure I'm that brave yet!

Grays Wed 17-Sept-25 14:04:09

Im on a coach trip right now and there are 4 solo travellers. They have all found a fellow passenger to sit with at meal times and on the coach. Couples are quick to welcome anyone on their own to join them on walks or for the evening entertainment. Go for it, you will be just fine 😊

Romola Wed 17-Sept-25 14:15:04

Desdemona, I'm so impressed with your courage and look forward to hearing how you get on.
I've been widowed nearly three years and haven't yet managed a solo holiday. though I know I should.

Emelie321 Wed 17-Sept-25 14:24:25

I went on my first coach trip alone two years ago, and was a bit worried ahead of time, too. But I would definitely do it again. The holiday was excellent, I felt very well looked after,most people were good company,the accommodation was better than expected- and I still see friends I made on this trip from time to time. Do go and give it a chance!

Lydie45 Wed 17-Sept-25 14:27:39

I would add just a couple of things. Take something to eat on the journey. The coach will stop usually for a meal break but it will be in a service area so you may prefer something from home rather than a burger. If you are worried about needing the toilet, even if you never ever use them perhaps buy a packet of Tena pants as a just in case. Nothing worse when you are older than needing to go and finding a queue. It’s just added security. Hope you have a lovely time.

Hammo Wed 17-Sept-25 14:39:19

I have never been on a coach trip before ( sounds lovely, though) so I wanted to ask - if you are a solo traveller, are you seated on the coach next to a random person? Is the coach full so you need to always sit next to someone you don’t know? That’s the bit that worries me!

Alwaysworrying Wed 17-Sept-25 14:59:19

Please let us know how you get on. I'm in the same boat as you...but l haven't been away for years as l have no one to go with, so if you enjoy yourself it might inspire me for next year! Have fun!

TanaMa Wed 17-Sept-25 15:02:45

'Big girl knickers on' and go and enjoy your trip! I felt as you do when I booked my first solo cruise, never having been on one before. However, it wasn't long before I was chatting to many other passengers, and being enveloped in friendly group conversations. I was so pleased I had taken the chance of going solo, so I hope you will also.

SaxonGrace Wed 17-Sept-25 15:06:13

Having been widowed with children when I was young I was alone for almost twenty years concentrating on raising the children , I then met a lovely widower, we were partners for 14 years living around the corner from each other but spending most of our time in each others homes, until severe illness has meant him going into a nursing home.
For the first time in 14 years I’m alone, I’ve taken the plunge and booked two day trips via a local coach company, I’m looking forward to them but with trepidation, should they work out I will branch out to longer trips, please do come back and let us know how you get on. Good luck

sharon103 Wed 17-Sept-25 15:39:07

Well done Desdemona, you've jumped the first hurdle.
I knew a lovely man who used to go on these sort of coach trips until the age of his late nineties until he had a fall and couldn't go again. Since died.
He lost his wife and lived on his own. He used to book trips like yours for every couple of months. Day trips included. Something to look forward to. He travelled north and south of the country. Tinsel and turkey trip at Christmas. On long journey's the coach had toilets on a lower deck.
You'll get to mix with other people. You won't be the only single person on that coach.
Give it a go. I think you'll like it. You've nothing to lose.
You don't have to go again if it's not your cup of tea but if you don't go you'll never know.
Let us know how you get on. Enjoy.

mernice Wed 17-Sept-25 16:00:24

Hi I’ve been on a few trips in this country and always people get changed for evening meal into something you’d wear to go out for a meal at home.. that type of thing. You’ll have a lovely time I’m sure.

Applegran Wed 17-Sept-25 16:04:26

Well done! Honour yourself for being brave and give yourself understanding and love for feeling anxious - and go on this trip and have a good time, with no feeling that you 'should' be like this , that or the other. You are brave - enjoy !

Suzieque66 Wed 17-Sept-25 16:11:02

Dont drink too much liquid , no one dresses up for the evening, bring a book to read if you feel uncomfortable, you will be fine, and probs book next year !!!

Essexgirl145 Wed 17-Sept-25 16:25:30

Done this Desdamona, went to Scotland and I was fine. Youll be okay. Best of luck.

FranA Wed 17-Sept-25 16:39:33

Depending on how busy the coach is you may have a double seat to yourself or you may have someone in the seat next to you. A few polite conversation starters should help you decide whether they are talkative or want to be left alone. I usually find saying “I haven’t done this before and I am feeling a bit nervous “ usually gives me enough feedback on how the other person feels about paling up or being left alone. I hope this turns out to be the first of many for you. The coach driver or his assistant will want to make sure you have a nice time so ask them about anything you are unsure of.

4allweknow Wed 17-Sept-25 16:42:26

Friend has just had her first coach holiday and enjoyed it. Couples and singles were amongst the passengers and she found all friendly without being imposing. It was for 5 nights. I am now tempted to follow suit.

Blossom21 Wed 17-Sept-25 16:46:00

You’ve done the hard bit and booked a holiday. Naturally you’re a little anxious as you haven’t done this before. It will be lovely. You can dip in and out of conversations, make new friends and seeing something interesting and possibly fun. Another thing to bear in mind you don’t have to see these people again unless you wish to. Taking that first step is always the hardest. Lincoln town is great and yes Steephill is steep but the end of the journey is worth it. Let us know how u get on! You can do thisxx

icanhandthemback Wed 17-Sept-25 16:47:00

My friend has just done this and she suffered with anxiety straight after booking. However, she left on Sunday and I messaged her to find out if she was ok and she's loving it.

FranP Wed 17-Sept-25 21:33:26

Desdemona

The coach trip is to the Lincoln area with various days out planned so how bad can it be?

Wear flat shoes. Lincoln is hilly with many cobbles and uneven paving.
Lots of lovely small boutique type shops to browse, with friendly folks serving.
Cathedral and castle to see, and the walls to walk. You are unlikely to have time to see it all, depending on days. Google Lincoln tourist map to get a preview.

You may well wish to change for the evening as you will be getting a lot of exercise

FranP Wed 17-Sept-25 21:47:21

Well done for taking a step. People who go on coach trips tend to be a friendly inclusive bunch.
( I do not want to frighten you, but my single maiden aunt met her husband that way <LOL> )
Sounds like it is all organised, which will help to reduce your anxiety hopefully.